Really want this girl. Want to make something work for a change.

Affable

OK. I'm English. I've met a girl from Ireland who's over here a while. She even approached me(rare for women), saw her twice chatted and she is fantastic. Cut a long story short, I've screwed up. Got nervous sometimes seeing ehr and she's around colleagues or whoever. I assumed i'd see her and chat again but hasn't happened how i wanted. Have mailed her through a networking site, not facebook, a good few months later explaing that it stuck in my head. My female friend says it might come across like desparate, or that i just dreged her up as one of many options, when others hadn't panned out. She is quite cynical and nothing could be further from the truth. I think this girl is great. It's tough with women because you either are an idiot to them who fancies himself and thinks you are one of 'options', or that you are desperate, or they think you are too fixated on her, and could be creepy, if you try and show you're not superifical and think she's special above flitting about trying with other women. Can't get that balance at times. I know from the feelings i got seeing her, and the 'wanting kick myself' massive melancholy sink in mood i got after i got unexpectedly shy and nervous around her and didn't take the opportunity to talk in a shop, eve though i thought she recognised me and body language of hers was open.
To give you perspective of dates, i met her twice in spring, and then saw her about oct/nov again in supermarket. After this mailed her, and no reply, even though girls dont often approach guys and shes been very amenable, second time i met her there were her colleagues around, male and all, and i was a bit tounge tied, but smiled and gave her a good look as she left. Anyway, she's looking like she recognises me and is well dsipiosed to a word in nov in the supermarket, but as the message gets to her(just saying it stuck in my head the coincidence of the dates we met and i wanted to get in touch) she doesn't reply. I am 30 now and tired of having my head up my arse, I've only had seedy flings but this is special, this is like, tingling when i see her, respecting her and fancying her so much. I'm 30 now, I'm ready. I want to be in with a shot. Also re Irish/English, are ther cultural misunderstandings between us, we English are very distant from one another so maybe my less is more if you get me.

Black Swan

Affable wrote: »

After this mailed her, and no reply...
she doesn't reply...

If she was still interested, wouldn't she reply? Perhaps you should move on?

Affable

Black Swan wrote: »

If she was still interested, wouldn't she reply? Perhaps you should move on?

It's hard because I'm into her, gut feeling, and the other signals haven't been negative. I suppose I really want to make a serious effort at a relationship for once in my life. I don't normally get girls approaching me.
I suppose more generally I'm just interested by how some people can often turn initial impressions which are not mazing around by what they do, and I'm the opposite. I think I'm decent looking, good at initial chats, then something goes amiss. My Dads no better looking than me, but he's done way better with women. I guess I'm trying to ger to the real point of what my problem is. I don't want an emotionless relationship of convinience, and I don't want seedy, empty shag, which I've had. When it comes to someone I think is interesting and beautiful and makes me feel something, initially it goes great, then I forget to buy her a drink or whatever, it's hard to sustain. Then I see this girl and it gives me feelings, I act on it and end up feeling like an utter prat. I don't know why I screw up chances so much. I end up feeling a twat for really feeling something about someone.

Affable

I perhpas haven't been clear enough. Sometimes I am light hearted about it but I also think I am prfoundly wasteful and that's sad. It's always worth feeling something more for someone, and then I do, and to make it more annoying she likes me initially and approaches, I have the chance and then screw it up with my own lack of presence of mind, left to think about what could be, having never had any meaningful relationship. It's not like things are bad, lookswise or personality, to me. I just screw up.

Affable

I know it may not sound so much to some people, but to be someone isn't unnappealing, isn't horrible, isn't unnattractive, and to never get it together with anyone you think is special hurts. It's almost like fate wants me to be with someone I resent and don't cherish, because I get punished for having high regard for a woman.

Affable

Sometimes I think I juts make it sound more trivial than it is for me.
I felt I had to post because my life is the pits atm. I've never made nything work, I can't keep this hopeless situation of parents being the only freinds.
Thats always been expected that my older sister would go and have a life, and I'd be expected to be the one in the nest, living vicariously, doing family stuff etc. It's all gone wrong with women, sometimes I hate that I was born to care and I was born heterosexual because women seem to think I'm a piece of crap, they don't me the decency of a direct rejection, I'd have to dance through hoops for that. Just utter indifference. The more regard I have for the woman, the worse it ends up for me.

Ickle Magoo

You have been given warning after warning followed by ban after ban regarding using this forum as a blog and you haven't taken any heed... you've been back a month and if you aren't posting numerous times about yourself you are using other peoples threads to do it.

This ban is permanent.