Does it matter if I don't go to my grads mass?

LegacyUser

Well basically I am an 18 year old male. I am in 6th year. Our grads mass is in earlier April and I don't want to go for many reasons one is I have never being happy in school. I was badly bullied and still am and when I reprted it the school did nothig about it and I have only about two friends really whoare constanly stabbing me in the back and I am always doing my best for them.
The second reason is my family doesn't have much money and we would have to buy clothes for it which are a waste of money really. Then my dad is 65 and by mam is 48 and they are considered to be a big joke because of there age difference. My mams hair is gone grey and she refuses to die it and people mock me over it. So what I am really saying is it there any point of going to this stupid mass that means nothing to me which I will only be bullied at?

dudara

I have only about two friends really whoare constanly stabbing me in the back

Then those people are not your friends. Stop calling them that.

You do not have to go to anything that you won't feel comfortable at.

Can you provide more detail on how you feel you are being bullied. It may help posters in providing you with constructive help.

Firetrap

Sorry to hear you are being bullied That's a terrible story you're telling and I feel so sad for you and angry that nothing has been done about it. Those two people who you call friends are no such thing - friends don't stab you in the back. I think in school, people sometimes mistake friends for people they hang around with. Not always the same thing.

Personally, I wouldn't go to the mass or to the graduation itself. You're being bullied, the school did nothing to help and in a few months you'll hopefully finish school and never see these horrible people again. I don't see any valid reason why you should waste money just to celebrate graduating from secondary school with this lot.

cantdecide

I can only speak about my experience which wasn't dissimilar from tours entirely. I didn't go to mine, mainly because most of my friends were a year ahead or behind. I have never regretted it but that's just my experience.

Spunge

I don't think i went to mine, i didn't really care.
I wouldn't bother if I was you, its not a big deal.

Don't go.

Hank_Jones

If you don't want to go, don't.
I never went to any of that stuff and I don't regret it in the slightest.
Those sort of things are more for the teachers than the students anyway.
Don't let what others do or think affect what you do or think yourself, in anything in life.

AnonoBoy

Sounds like one event that you won't regret skipping in the slightest.

Here's the upside - you're nearly finished school! Soon it'll be just an unpleasant memory. Things really do get better from here on out.

stinkle

Don't go, those things are all a load of rubbish anyway. I hated my school too, and while I did go to the mass, no one (i.e. teachers) would have noticed if I wasn't there as I wasn't involved in any of the organisation, singing etc. Certainly don't stress about your decision, school and exams are stressful enough! Just do what you feel is right And you get to look forward to finishing school and being rid of those horrible people forever

karaokeman

Do what feels right for you, don't let other's pull you down.

The two people who "stab" you in the back obviously musn't be your friends if they treat you this way.

Bottom line, school is nearly over. Once the summer comes you will be able to move on with your life and do what feels right for you (Eg go to college, do work experience, take an apprenticeship).

You will find as you grow older that school is not the B all and end all of your social life.

Grads are overrated anyway, nothing is really in them that's of interest to teenagers. Students just feel pressurized to go and I wouldn't be surprised if other's in your year missed it.

For now if you can do very well in your exams it will do much more for your self esteem than attending a stupid ceremony with people who will more than likely be out of your life for good when you leave.

purity

I didn't go to my grads, I wouldn't of been comfortable going so therefore I didn't go. Loads of people don't go to their grads for various reasons, there is nothing strange about it and you shouldn't go if your uncomfortable with the idea.

rainbowtrout

From a teacher's point of view: I'm at the LC grad mass every year and a number of students don't attend it. It's not a big deal.

Those people aren't your friends. If they were they wouldn't be stabbing you in the back. Forget about them and concentrate on getting through your last few months at school and doing the best you can in your Leaving Cert.


There's nothing wrong with the age gap between your parents, or the fact that your mother doesn't dye her hair. Both are perfectly normal. These people that bully you are just looking for extremely petty things to taunt you about. Your parents are no different from any other parents of students in your school.

Don't go to the grad if you would be happier not attending. No one will say anything.

LegacyUser

Well thanks!
I don't see any point of going to the mass.
I am friends with these guys because they are all I have if I didn't talk to them I would have no one. One of the guys picked up a std during the Summer and I was there for him I organised the app in the std clinic for him and I told no one.
This friend then found out the my house is dirty and messy outside it so he took photo's of it on his phone and he started sending them to me even tough he knew he was hurting me.
Then my other friend made up a story of suffering from depression and he wasn't able to do his homework and I did it for him. He is also a but over weight and I made out a diet plan for him brought him to the gym and was there for him all the time and he eventually told me the truth that he only pretended to be sad so his parents would bring him on holidays to the USA.
I confided in him that my brother was gay. I don't even know how I told it just sort of came up in conversation. I then told him to tell know one and he outed him to the school because he said he just had to do it because he couldn't bare to keep a secret.
There are many other stories of these people and I am at breaking point
Any advice?

tinkerbell

Advice? Stop talking to those people who constantly treat you like dirt - they are not your friends, they are sad losers so stop confiding in them, and stop doing things for them. Friends don't treat their friends like the way your "friends" treat you.

And don't bother going to your grad mass, if you don't wanna go - don't go. It's not like you'll be missing much anyway.

Chuchoter

These 'friends' are horrible people. **** them. So if you want to go to grads, go, if you don't don't. However, do you want to miss a (kind of) important event just for these assholes? In any case, only 2 or 3 months and you never have to see any of these people again!

Wolfe Tone

Dont go

GoldRush4821

crayolastereo wrote: »

These 'friends' are horrible people. **** them. So if you want to go to grads, go, if you don't don't. However, do you want to miss a (kind of) important event just for these assholes? In any case, only 2 or 3 months and you never have to see any of these people again!

Considering you're talking about the grads mass and not the grads itself, if i understand right from the title, then who says its even important? If I am right in thinking that your time at school was as miserable as you have described it, then there is no reason to further subject yourself to this kind of pressure and antagonism, especially when it's so close to the leaving cert. My advice, although I know it's hard, try to forget about these assholes and do your best in the LC. Make the most out of college or whatever you decide to pursue after school and things will be infinitely better for you in just a year (or even less) time. Bottom line, graduation mass is not important.

I don't know if the grads question was implied, but the same applies. Grads are no big deal, and if you feel you will be uncomfortable there, you shouldn't even think twice about going.

magneticimpulse

Hi OP
No you dont have to go to the mass.

However at the same time, school is only a once in life time opportunity. I feel sad for you that you have had such a crap time. I have never been bullied, so I dont really know how to rise above it. However I can say there were many bullies in my class and they could have bullied me...but instead they bullied an ex friend of mine as she was an easy target.

From that experience, i knew if she wasnt so snappy with them, easily wound up, and if she was not so negative maybe they wouldnt have done it? I used to just laugh at the bullies faces, and make jokes with them, so hence i never let them bully me. Like act the clown. If they made fun of me running during sports for example...id pretend to be mr.blobby and make funny sounds and pull faces what have you...that way instead of them laughing at me, they were laughing with me. I mean i felt like an ejet of course, but at least they knew they couldnt wind me up. Which meant they didnt get fun out of bullying me if they tried.

I dont know, I think it would be great if you yourself could rise above it. It be terrible to think you left school and didnt confront these bullys and put a stop to it yourself.

Even later in life, some of my friends can be still childish...like such and such wont do this because they dont like another person. As you get older, you do realise, not everybody likes each other. Its just life. Its not bullying, but it hurts all the same. I wish I could give you more advice to help you. Its never good for anyone to bully anybody else. But at same time, you really have to stand up for yourself sometime.

Bullys are most likely the most insecure people. They bully others to feel better about themselves. For those reasons, they should be really easy to defeat and make fun off!! You might not think it, but im sure you could get back at them very easily!!

LegacyUser

No, it doesn't matter one bit if you don't go. None of these things matter. Graduation mass, graduation full stop, debs. Of course, unless your parents really want to go (it might be a real matter of pride for them to be with you there). Talk to your parents about it and your reasons for not going.

I'm sure they'll understand. Despite people making out that events like these are a big deal, etc, they're not. Do your own thing.

Cgoodie

OP don't go if you don't want to it's not some life changing event that if you don't go you'll feel that you've missed out.

& remember almost every teenager is embarrassed by their parents so everyone will be standing around all self conscious and nervous that their parents are there and on their best behaviour!

letsbehonest

If you want to go just go. If you don't, just don't go. It doesn't really matter and does people aren't really your friends.

skooterblue

If its any consolation to you my 15 year reunion was there before christmas. I was treated like muck at school. We were ultra conservative Catholic family from a poor but educated background. We never had money for holidays. Both my parents were very sick when we were young. had little or no money for college. Didnt go on J1 etc. Got teased at school for being generally different didnt even make the school sports team. The first chance I got I moved off and I am so glad I did.

At the reunion, They all had houses which they couldnt afford, kids who they barely knew the fathers first name, drinking problems and dropped out of college to go labouring. Worst of all with the change in the economy, a group of travellers have taken over the village.

Me on the other hand has a degree working on a second no debt, no house, no wild oats and has cashed in on a farm worth a sizeable amount at the peak of the boom. There is me thinking I am so glad I didnt turn out like ye.

School will be a distant memory in 15 years and them guys bullying you will be developing muscles lifting pints at the bar. You know what to do ... The best revenge is living well.