Can the Pill affect someone mentally?

LegacyUser

I love my girlfriend a lot, we're both early 20s, in college, nice normal people.

Ever since she went on the pill, things have been different with her. She's seemed uninterested, selfish, emotionally unstable, there are huge ups and downs. She didn't feel well on the pill after a week, but persevered through it as she was told initially they could affect her. She's now getting severe cramps (2 days straight), vomited at work, bleeding and "passed tissue", this is like 4 months on. She's stopped taking them but still is hurting, and is going to the doctor Monday (not looking for medical advice btw, I know the charter yoke doesn't allow it anyway). She's had some crazy breakdowns, and just can't seem to handle things atm. She was convinced she was pregnant one night, even though it was impossible (no she was not and has not cheated, I trust her fully). Even late night txts wondering why I still like her, spouting out these insecurities. She was so confident before, and now she's just so fragile. I suggested counselling, but it's met with a "hmm maybe" that has a strong "meh" attitude. I miss the way my girlfriend was, and I'd hate to think that it's the relationship that has her this way, so if it means us breaking up so she can get back to the way she was before, as much as it would kill me, I'd stand aside.

She recently has been questioning if I still like her, that she's had some feeling that I don't anymore. She has changed, more self centered etc (as mentioned), but I still love her.

Through another issue (aka lack of opportunities) we hadn't had sex for 7ish weeks until valentines day. My rents were away, so the plan was after college she'd come over, we'd have sex a bit, then I'd go make a big romantic dinner for her (candles n the whole sh-bang, show how much I love her), hang out then go to bed and up early for college the next day. She said it got a little rough, trust-wise, which though didn't feel any rougher than before and during she said to relax a bit so of course I did. It turned out later that she was a bit sore from it (found out the 2 days later) which I apologised for profusely and felt really bad about. That night when going to sleep we were fooling around a bit, l asked if she wanted to but she was a little hesitant, so I said it's cool if she didn't want to that I knew was maybe too rough last time to do anything now, said this like 3/4 times as she didn't seem to certain with ever answer but then said yeah sure. Basically we couldn't, too painful, which was fine I wasn't going to push her into something that hurt I never would. She was really upset about it, saying that it was suppose to hurt your first time not now so I held her close and comforted her, making sure she was ok. She told me later tonight that it really upset her, and that she tried again that night because she was scared to say no and incase I'd get annoyed, which tbh I found just so hurtful. She had a relationship from about 16-18/19 with a total a-hole. The guy treated her so badly and would regularly flip off the handle. She couldn't have male friends, no makeup, no dresses etc, really controlling, refused sex and then ended up cheating on her with some girl from his course. She still treats me like I'm him, and I'm the opposite. I have bent over backwards to make sure she's happy in everything we do I’ve always been happy to take the backseat with college, family, work etc, her happiness, health, etc is so important to me, I just want to make her happy, show that not all guys are like him.

Her life is ruled by her past, in everything she does (no marriage as the parents are divorced, no kids cause she felt like she had to raise her little sister when living with her Dad, doesn’t trust me with exchanging the odd nudey pic as she did with the ex and he showed all his mates straight away, which yes was horrible to of happened to her but if she doesn’t know if she can trust me now after this long what’s the point) and since going on the pill it's just magnified all her insecurities, craziness, worries and fears. There's only so much I can do to help, cause she won't let me. It's so frustrating. Like 7 months and she still treats me like I'm him, it's hurts.

We’re close to breaking up, I can feel it. We’re meeting Monday to discuss everything, I don’t know what I’m rooting for tbh. Could her recent actions be caused/attributed by the pill meaning it’s worth saving and holding on, or it is just a sign of things to come, latching on for another month or two all the while knowing it’s doomed which isn’t fair on either of us?

I ask about the pill affecting because I know it’s basically like taking hormones (she admitted to being crazy hormonal the first couple weeks) and because when I was young I was on this particular acne med which not caused but aided greatly into me falling into a big depression and was close to suicidal, there were several cases in America apparently with parents taking the company to court because they believed that particular acne medication attributed to their childs suicidal (btw I’m not saying all acne meds do this, if your on some now I’m sure it’s fine i was just unlucky)

allym

Ok first off this is just my own experience and is NOT any form of medical advice!

But last summer after being on the pill for about 8 months I went mental. I had been fine up to that, the odd weepy moment but nothing major. But this was so different. I became really depressed, cried all the time and became really insecure. I was just like a different person and my poor boyfriend didn't know what to do. I was constantly over reacting to every little thing he said and making him feel like he was being horrible to me when really he was being so supportive. Eventually I went to the doctor and he said that the pill was making me like this. Whatever particular type of hormones were in this pill had just started reacting badly to my body and making me over emotional. So I started on a different pill and have been fine since!

So in short, yes in some cases the pill can affect someone's emotions quite badly. I think you should suggest to your girlfriend to go to her doctor as it's worthwhile having a chat to see if it could be the cause of all this and work out some solutions!
Good luck and I hope things get better!

Can the pill affect someone mentally?

In a word, yes. Explain to your girlfriend that she needs to talk to her GP.

LegacyUser

I was on the pill before and I became really depressed for no apparent reason. It actually made me suicidal... again for no reason at all... things in my life were good. I think how the pill can affect people emotionally is hugely undermined (this is just my own opinion - not medical advice etc). When I went off it, I was fine again after a short time. This was the only time in my life where I literally felt like I had gone mental. Years later, I tried a different type of pill and it was much better.

liah

Yes, studies have shown that women (subconsciously, anyway) look for different types of men depending on whether or not they're on the pill. It has been responsible for producing some serious issues in long-term relationships when the partner's pill status changes.

To be frank, I suggest looking into another sort of birth control, because if she's acting different due to the pill, it's going to stay like that til she comes off it.

Chuchoter

I think you can put a fair percentage (but not all) of her behavior down to the pill. I know that when I was on one type of pill I was so unstable (like bat**** insane, panic attacks, the works) but I also had other problems that that particular pill was exacerbating. She can easily just change pill by asking her GP, if she's been on it 4 months its obviously not suiting her. I went through like 4 different pills before I found one that suited me.

However, some of her other issues maybe she should talk about, like her family and the abusive relationship

amybabes

YES! i was on the same pill from 16-23 and i was CRAZZZZZZY and grew to accept my behaviour and moods as normal after years of it. Its only when i took a 5 month break from it that i realised how not normal i was when on that particular brand.
I got adult acne when on the break and saw a doctor who told me he'd had clients who'd tried 6 or 7 different types to see which one worked for them.

Jenneke87

I had anger issues while on the pill. I would fly into fits of rage over absolutely nothing. When I stopped it dissapeared. So yes, the pill does affect once psyche.

Motley Crue

thingsarebad wrote: »

doesn’t trust me with exchanging the odd nudey pic as she did with the ex and he showed all his mates straight away, which yes was horrible to of happened to her but if she doesn’t know if she can trust me now after this long what’s the point

On this point, if you're going out with the girl, you don't need pictures of her naked on your phone. Fact. This can only lead to upset - and it degrades your girlfriend and makes you look like some pimp...

LegacyUser

I was exactly like this. I went on it from doctors advice about an illness and was single at the time. I'd just broken up from someone so presume I just couldn't relax with new people after him because i'd been into him so much.

Two years later I'm in a relationship with a lovely lovely person (who sounds very much like you to be honest) and we are slowly building things back up. I came off the pill because i didnt feel right on it about mid december and am still not fully there. One thing she can do to help things is get some nutrition advice. It helps alot with the cramping and mood swings if you can keep your energy levels consistent. It's also probably stressing her out alot so if she can get good vitamins into her it'll help that too.

I would say have some nights where there's no expectation. Kiss her and tell her you just want to hang out in her company. It's amazing how when expectation is removed it can help a girl relax. That said she's probably not going to enjoy it for another 2-3 months. Everyone is different of course but if she's suffering like this now, it takes a while for the hormones to leave your system.

from my own point of view I'm finding exercise is helping me. Once you get low on energy you get depression thoughts and stress. You know they aren't really the way you are but you dont understand it. if you exercise it helps I find because it uses up the frustrated energy.

Tell her to hang in there. Also there's some great online forums for advice. If boards.ie doesn't have one there's girls specific ones with people's experience. dont over talk things, I'd encourage her to spend time with her friends and feel good about herself. It'll help her self esteem and make her realise you are dying to see her when she gets back.

Number one thing is just keep letting her know you trust her, love her and get that this isn't anything she can help. Also if shes worried about upsetting you because you cant have sex just tell her other things you like when fooling around and she'll know that's an option if she still wants to make you happy. be careful how you bring that up though. If you can make her laugh it'll make talking about stuff easier.

Good luck

OhMeOhMy

I definitely went a bit loo-la on the pill. It started to make me very depressed and I would be in floods of tears for no reason and just thinking quite illogically.

I suggest talking to your girlfriend about this and recommending that she see a doctor to get some other form of contraception. I know personally, that it was not just the pill that was affecting me so badly, there were other things I was going through at the time but I think the pill just exacerbated that a bit

I guess once she changes contraception ye can figure out if there are underlying issues and work from there

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

Personally when i was on the pill i turned into a complete b***h. It was like i had a personality transplant, some of the things i did/said to my friends when on the pill were just awful! i still cringe to this day when i think of it . One minute i was bawling my eyes out for no reason and the next i was having screaming fights with people over nothing! Normally i'm the quietest most non confrontational person in the world but i literally became a different person. Some women are just really sensitive to hormones and the pill can throw their emotions to scary extremes.

LegacyUser

OP here.

Cheers for the advice guys. Been a few developments alright.

First thing is she's been off the pill since Friday (she didn't take it Friday) as that was when she went really bad. We've talked about everything over the weekend, about how concerned and worried I was about her, how she's not been herself and she was realising it herself that something was up. I met her after college both Monday and today and the difference since she's been of it is unbelievable. She's back to her normal bubbly confident lovely self. It's like I have my girlfriend back again and it's amazing.

She'll be going to the doctor tomorrow, while mentally she's back to normal we both felt it was important to go to just see if anything was up and get a medical opinion on it all.

You've no idea how happy I am to see that little sparkle back in her eye again.

Thanks for the reassurance and everything guys, you've no idea how much I appreciate it all, really thank you.

btw Motley Crue, grow up, adult couple do exchange the odd pics, it was one time and when she said no I dropped it, I'd never make my gf do anything she was comfortable doing