Is she gone off me?? :(

LegacyUser

Hey guys just looking for some opinions on this as its kind of bothering me lately.

Me and my girlfriend are going out 3 years since January. We'r both in our early 20's. I love her to bits and I'm sure she feels the same. There's just one problem of late and its that things seem to have gotten a bit stale between us. Things just don't seem to be the same. It's like we've gotten too settled. We're both in the same college so we stay together a few nights a week. We never get the chance to do anything exciting together anymore due to college and what not.
The problem is I think its bothering her more than it is me because she just doesn't seem as interested in me anymore. I know that all couples go through this phase being together for as long as we have but I'm just worried that she's gone off me. She's rarely in a good mood with me anymore, not like she used to, she was always so upbeat and mad for having a laugh which I love so much about her but now she constantly seems like I'm annoying her in some way and is moody with me.
Our sex life used to be AMAZING, no exaggeration. But now its gone down the drain. She's never interested in it anymore. I try to initiate it but she's never interested. She's always too tired or just not in the mood. Don't get me wrong I'm not just talking about sex but even when I go to hug her or kiss her its like kissing a pole sometimes she just doesn't seem interested at all
Anyone have any advise as to what could be the problem and how I can get us back to normal? I just want us to go back to how it was.
Thanks for reading.

LegacyUser

My bf and I just came out of a very similar phase.

He sat me down and talked to me. He told me how my going off sex upset him, saddened him, he was very understanding, there wasn't even a reason, I guess I was just in a rut.

Things immediately improved.

Talk to her.

missgroovy21

in this case being tired may be a genuine reason....talk to her

HugoDrax

Hi OP.

Talking to her about how feel would be a sensible option. Try it for all the good it will do.
This relationship is obviously over only both of you are too blind to admit it. For your own sake you should be dating lots of women but you are wearing this albatross around your neck. There's no fun, there's no sex, there's no passion and no spark. So what's the point? You have both locked yourselves in a prison. Are you both in love with the idea of love? This is not love. Dump her and get on with your life.

wasper

The problem is your unsociable working hours that have alienated GF. History will be repeated after few weeks if you decide to take the offer of the other girl. I know you were feeling rejected & then the phone number has rekindled your spirits.

LegacyUser

I feel for you OP, I am in the same situation with my boyfriend - we moved in together after being together 11 months (when we were early 20s, mid 20s now) and pretty much instantly he seemed to go off me. 3 years later and I'm too scared to ask him whats wrong with our relationship. Our sex life is non-existant, he's more time for his friends than me and I'm horribly depressed and trying to hide it. I just love him too much to leave.

i really hope everything works out for you because i know exactly how you feel.

lace

Lots of relationships go through a rough patch like this. What's important is to realise whether it's just a rough patch that will be worked through or whether the fizz is gone and just isn't coming back.

Sit down and talk it out together. Tell her how you feel about everything she's doing/not doing and prepare to hear her problems too. Try to come to an agreement to make more of an effort and make the relationship work.

Give it a few months and if things don't improve, consider ending it. I know it's difficult to consider leaving a long term relationship, but it's clearly not working making you unhappy. A healthy relationship needs a healthy sex life and good fun, and if they don't come back you're never going to be properly satisfied. don't settle.

Hope it works out for you!