What's a good single person thing to do?

fifomania

As the title suggests i'm looking for some inspiration!
I'm stuck in a rut socially, no real friends, no boyfriend etc.
Anyway, it's round to another Saturday night where I'm sitting in and I feel incredibly lonely! What is a good thing for a single person to do? My hobbies revolve around exercises (alone). I'm not opposed to the pub but I don't want to sit in a pub alone! Same with the theatre or cinema, all activities I'll end up doing alone!
Thanks!

Sibylla

Have you tried joining new clubs? It depends where you live and how active they are. Also have a look at the ladies lounge private forum there is a thread with numerous people with the same issue!

omega666

fifomania wrote: »

As the title suggests i'm looking for some inspiration!
I'm stuck in a rut socially, no real friends, no boyfriend etc.
Anyway, it's round to another Saturday night where I'm sitting in and I feel incredibly lonely! What is a good thing for a single person to do? My hobbies revolve around exercises (alone). I'm not opposed to the pub but I don't want to sit in a pub alone! Same with the theatre or cinema, all activities I'll end up doing alone!
Thanks!

I know how you feel! Broke up with my oh 6 months ago and find
weekends boring now when all my friends are busy in relationships.
Trying to stay away from getting wasted every weekend as trying to get fit so kinda using that as an excuse!

What about going along to a meetup.com event?
Ive been to a few meetups just to get out and have some fun when ive been dying to go out and stuck for someone to go with me. I know its a bit daunting going somewhere where you know nobody but the people there are generally very friendly and its better than stuck at home in front of the tv!
You can just sign up and go any event straight way also.

Thats the only suggestion i have im afraid.

Pyr0

fifomania wrote: »

As the title suggests i'm looking for some inspiration!
I'm stuck in a rut socially, no real friends, no boyfriend etc.
Anyway, it's round to another Saturday night where I'm sitting in and I feel incredibly lonely! What is a good thing for a single person to do? My hobbies revolve around exercises (alone). I'm not opposed to the pub but I don't want to sit in a pub alone! Same with the theatre or cinema, all activities I'll end up doing alone!
Thanks!

You should check out some of the forums here on boards, The Ladies Lounge - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1011 - would be a good place to start. They have regular meetups between members, great way to make new friends and get yourself out there.

James400

fifomania wrote: »

As the title suggests i'm looking for some inspiration!
I'm stuck in a rut socially, no real friends, no boyfriend etc.
Anyway, it's round to another Saturday night where I'm sitting in and I feel incredibly lonely! What is a good thing for a single person to do? My hobbies revolve around exercises (alone). I'm not opposed to the pub but I don't want to sit in a pub alone! Same with the theatre or cinema, all activities I'll end up doing alone!
Thanks!

Hi OP, is there anybody at work or at college etc who would possibly interest you?

appleb

Have you tried Internet dating? Met my boyfriend on anotherfriend.com nearly a year ago and never looked back!

purity

So many people are just like you, and there is nothing strange about it. Many people prefer solitary lifestyles and sometimes your better off alone. With my experience friendships can cause more heartache and trouble than fun.
I would suggest going to the gym as exercise relaxes you and releases seratonin the happy hormone:) It's also a great way to meet people. Take night courses in anything your interested in cooking, languages, karate.
There is so much to do and many ways to meet people:)

kevin99

I disagree. It is not right for people to be alone, leading solitary lifestyles.
You are never better off.
This lady is in a rut and doesn't need to be told she is better off that way because from your experience 'friendships can cause more heartache and trouble than fun'.
She needs a few new social outlets, not solitary confinement.

purity wrote: »

So many people are just like you, and there is nothing strange about it. Many people prefer solitary lifestyles and sometimes your better off alone. With my experience friendships can cause more heartache and trouble than fun.
I would suggest going to the gym as exercise relaxes you and releases seratonin the happy hormone:) It's also a great way to meet people. Take night courses in anything your interested in cooking, languages, karate.
There is so much to do and many ways to meet people:)

kevin99

For starters, you should re-evaluate your friendships. If all of your mates are in relationships and therefore not available to meet you on a weekend then they are not friends.
Surely they could include you in their social activities on Saturday evenings?
Maybe you should text them during the week to see who is available at the weekend. If none respond positively then forget them.
Yes, join clubs and so forth.
But you could also socialise with maybe your brothers or sisters at weekends.
If you are an active person, have you considered joining an athletics club, women's mini marathon is coming up in June and many ladies will begin their training for that over the next month. Could you involve yourself there?
What about a cycling group? These are springing up all the time. You see men and women cycling together along the coastline of Dublin on Saturdays and Sundays. Or joing a walking group.
But I would reiterate to you. If your so called friends are not available to go out with you at weekends because they are involved in relationships, drop them.
And when one of them breaks up with their other half, don't be available to her when she comes crying. Then she will know what it has been like for you all those lonely weekend nights, sitting in alone.

Cgoodie

Hey OP I was a bit like that awhile a few years ago until I got a kick up the rear from my Mum who told me she didn't want to see me around the house at weekends as much anymore (may sound harsh but it's what I needed).

I signed up for sailing courses which is what I always wanted to try and things really picked up for me and has given me a good confidence boost.

As others have posted before try joining a class that your interested in and see where it leads but don't give up after the first one if it doesn't interest you keep trying and you'll pick up good friends along the way:)

RedXIV

kevin99 wrote: »

For starters, you should re-evaluate your friendships. If all of your mates are in relationships and therefore not available to meet you on a weekend then they are not friends.
Surely they could include you in their social activities on Saturday evenings?
Maybe you should text them during the week to see who is available at the weekend. If none respond positively then forget them.
Yes, join clubs and so forth.
But you could also socialise with maybe your brothers or sisters at weekends.
If you are an active person, have you considered joining an athletics club, women's mini marathon is coming up in June and many ladies will begin their training for that over the next month. Could you involve yourself there?
What about a cycling group? These are springing up all the time. You see men and women cycling together along the coastline of Dublin on Saturdays and Sundays. Or joing a walking group.
But I would reiterate to you. If your so called friends are not available to go out with you at weekends because they are involved in relationships, drop them.
And when one of them breaks up with their other half, don't be available to her when she comes crying. Then she will know what it has been like for you all those lonely weekend nights, sitting in alone.

Thats a bit unfair, friends aren't there purely for her usage and for all we know the weekends may be the only time for her friends to meet their respective partners.

OP, I was strongly recommend the Ladies Lounge forum here, as mentioned above. I've made great friends through this site, have indeed found a partner through it. Its worth making the effort around this site to appear at a beers or two, especially since the majority of the time, there are plenty of people like you who don't know anybody.

Its been a while since I was single but from what I can remember, there's usually plenty of things geared at singles to do, try speed dating or other such events. Or even a club as said before. Getting sweaty in the middle of a boxing ring may not be your ideal saturday night but most sports clubs etc have a great social life with them too

Hope this helps!

Liveen

fifomania wrote: »

As the title suggests i'm looking for some inspiration!
I'm stuck in a rut socially, no real friends, no boyfriend etc.
Anyway, it's round to another Saturday night where I'm sitting in and I feel incredibly lonely! What is a good thing for a single person to do? My hobbies revolve around exercises (alone). I'm not opposed to the pub but I don't want to sit in a pub alone! Same with the theatre or cinema, all activities I'll end up doing alone!
Thanks!

This takes me back: I was completely alone - no friends of any description - until I went to college. Is this an option for you? My world opened up when I went to uni. I met people of all backgrounds and intelligence. It was the best 4 years of my life. To meet people you needn't go the online dating route. Something as simple as seeing what's on in your local library can be good. My local has book clubs for all genres, a film club, a stitch+bitch, etc. Something for all tastes and ages. Also grab a church newsletter and see what's going on in your community. Many years after college, I joined a kickboxing class and made many friends. Classes like that have a great social angle as everyone needs to cool off after all that aggro Also a hillwalking club might be an idea, seeing as you're into exercise. I hate pubs and clubs and refuse to go until absolutely ordered to, so believe me, there's plenty to do outside of drinking.

kevin99

Friends should be there for you, to help you. If they aren't then forget them.
My social scene has changed dramatically in the past few years. Like you I found myself alone at weekends. And going to the pub was an option but it became totally predicatable and boring for me.
I would suggest you join some clubs or get involved in activities.
And whenever your 'friends', indeed, I would describe them as being mere 'acquaintences' call you midweek for a 'girly chat' or to go to the 'cinema' turn them down.
Friends should look out for one another regardless of whether they are in relationships or not. If they won't do that then face it, they are not mates.
I have a new set of friends and people who are decent and don't live in a relationship 'bubble'.
While still single at least I know I have people to meet at weekends.
And you know what?
My old 'friends' ring me when their other halves are not around to go for a pint. It gives me great satisfaction to tell them I am away that night or I am meeting someone else for a pint.
It really intrigues them and they desperately try to find out what I am up to.
But at the end of the day you they look out for themselves and their other halves and don't provide the time to meet me.
I now treat them the way they treat me.
Do the same.

rbag

I agree with you OP, it's not easy. I had two friends, would have been close too at one stage, who effectively dropped all contact when they met their partners. It was hurtful at the time, but I moved on and made other friends. The strange thing was - both invited me to their weddings, despite not having been in contact for a year and more. I didn't go to either of the weddings.

Maybe try voluntary work as a way of getting to know people? Just a suggestion.

ongarboy

it's a shame there is such a single vs attached person war going on here. Plenty of attached people hang out with their single friends, sometimes bringing their partner along, sometimes not. I've been in both situations when I was single and now as an attached person.

When single, I may have seen less of my attached friends when they met their OHs but surely that is understandable? If your mate was available to go out every Saturday night with you when they were single and now that they have met an OH, isn't it fair that some Sat nights will be taken up doing something with their partner ( a meal/event with relatives etc). You are not going to tell your partner, sorry, I have gone out with my single mate every Saturday night since we were 18 and am not changing so either find other friends for that night or watch Winning Streak!

Fair enough, if you find over an extended period that your friends never are available at anytime to meet up since they found a partner, then I would re-evaluate the friendship but don't punish them when they have to occasionally turn you down.

OP - I heard meetup.com is good for people in your situation where lots of other similiar people in the same situation sign up. Why not visit the website to get more details to see if it's for you?

LegacyUser

It's very daunting the thought of going to those meetups if you're shy, I'm pretty shy so I'd be worried they all know each other really well!

What age / age group are u OP? Where are u based?

I think a lot of those boot camp type fitness classes have a good social side so maybe try that as opposed to exercising alone?