what should i do?

LegacyUser

I am not the type to check on my bf. I give plenty of space and privacy...

However.... he left his phone at home today ... Its not the first time, but i normally leave it alone, untouched.

For some strange reasons i felt a need to give it a quick scan.
So i went and looked through his inbox looking for one name. The very first girl liked and one who is still his best friend.

I wasnt hoping to find anything cause he never mentions her in front of me.
How stupid i was !!

They seem to txt each other on a regular basis and have met up just a month ago. I felt betrayed!! He lied to me. We live with each other but he slipped out of the house to meet up with her.

I trust him 120% and this is what i get.

What should i do?

Neyite

Looking through his phone is not giving him space and privacy. Its the opposite. You dont trust him 120% if you look through his phone.

If she is his best friend, whats wrong with texting regularly and meeting up once in a while? Maybe he didnt tell you because of the reaction he would get from you. Ask yourself, if he did say, "hey babe, I'm meeting Mary* for a coffee, will be back in a couple of hours" would your response be "grand so, tell her I said hi"

You obviously want to keep tabs on this girl, because thats who you went looking for in his phone, so I'm guessing that you feel a little insecure about his feelings for her. And that is probably why he does not mention her to you.

The fact that you dont say that the texts contain any flirty /sexy overtures suggest that there were not any and that they are in fact, just good, platonic friends. In which case, confronting him about seeing her will make you look bad.

You could tell him that you looked in his phone, and saw that he meets her, and that you know nothing is between them, so he should be honest with you when he meets her. But be warned - he wont like it one bit that you went rooting through his phone.

IrishEyes19

I dont understand why you are in a relationship with a guy you don't trust, and although granted I'll take it on your word that its the first time you have checked his phone, clearly theres been underlying issues to why you felt you had to do this in the first place.

You really have to stop invading his privacy, even if its just once, dont let it happen again. If it's his best friend, there maybe nothing going on and you'll just like an insecure jealous girlfriend. Best thing to do, is sit him down and ask him if somethings up, if he's playing away, his face will tell. He'll be uncomfortable, but you've already lost half the battle by checking his messages.

LegacyUser

You can say that a friend has come to you in confidence to say that they saw your bf and this girl together and they felt you should know. Ask your bf why he didn't tell you, what he has to hide, etc. You don't need to mention looking at his texts at all. The fact that they're texting regularly without him mentioning this and meeting up without telling you would have me very, very worried.

Most people who reply in this thread will only focus on your reading his texts. But I think very few people do that without being driven to do so.