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He's interested... NOW!

  • 18-02-2011 10:33am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been seeing this guy on and off for about a year. At the start I really liked him, but I could see he clearly wasn't interested in having a proper relationship with me. I kept a sensible distance and now we're in a FWB-type situation. I wouldn't have been happy with this at the start, but now that I'm used to it I think it's best for both of us.
    Trouble is now he's starting to talk like he wants a relationship. The other day we were lying down watching a movie and he goes 'We're lovers. Like in this film. It's kinda romantic, don't you think?'. My response was roughly along the lines of 'WTF are you talking about??', which only made him laugh and say 'Oh you like me more than you say'. Er, I did. But that was before I concluded that we should keep our distance.
    Aside from this he keeps sending me texts like 'I had a really great time with you' and 'I can't wait to see you again'. I don't know how to respond to them! Don't even know how to take them!
    Then the other day he started talking about going on holiday together. Wait! What? Isn't that what couples do? His response: "Well I suppose we're a sort-of couple." ???
    I can't tell if he's messing with me, or if he's honestly changed. I'm even starting to question how I read him in the beginning; maybe he did indicate that he wanted something else but I didn't pick up on it? What could cause such a change in attitude?


Comments

  • #2
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    He's starting falling for you.

    Happens all the time in situations like this, it can be hard to maintain a sexual relationship without strong feelings developing one side or the other.


  • #3
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    Well if its something you'd actually consider becoming a couple. You've hit the Jackpot, OP, I can think of countless people who wish that was their situation, the fb falling in the end!! Good luck if its what you want.


  • #4
    Zombrex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    Sacre Bleu wrote: »
    I've been seeing this guy on and off for about a year. At the start I really liked him, but I could see he clearly wasn't interested in having a proper relationship with me. I kept a sensible distance and now we're in a FWB-type situation. I wouldn't have been happy with this at the start, but now that I'm used to it I think it's best for both of us.
    Trouble is now he's starting to talk like he wants a relationship. The other day we were lying down watching a movie and he goes 'We're lovers. Like in this film. It's kinda romantic, don't you think?'. My response was roughly along the lines of 'WTF are you talking about??', which only made him laugh and say 'Oh you like me more than you say'. Er, I did. But that was before I concluded that we should keep our distance.
    Aside from this he keeps sending me texts like 'I had a really great time with you' and 'I can't wait to see you again'. I don't know how to respond to them! Don't even know how to take them!
    Then the other day he started talking about going on holiday together. Wait! What? Isn't that what couples do? His response: "Well I suppose we're a sort-of couple." ???
    I can't tell if he's messing with me, or if he's honestly changed. I'm even starting to question how I read him in the beginning; maybe he did indicate that he wanted something else but I didn't pick up on it? What could cause such a change in attitude?

    Er, isn't it obvious?

    He is starting to fall for you, or at the very least starting to like the idea of having a relationship (with you or with anyone). People grow more attached to each other the longer they are with them, it is not really odd that he likes you now more than he did at the start when he hardly new you.

    If you don't feel the same you need to break the friendship off with him. The longer it goes on the more he is going to get hurt when you eventually have to.


  • #5
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • #6
    mood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Talk to him about it.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP Here, sorry for getting back so late.

    You guys are right, I should be glad that he's changed his mind, but I can't help being weary. It's because his mindset changed after I stopped showing interest. I can't help but wonder if maybe he's just being hard to get. As in, if I allow myself to open up again, will he lose interest again? I wonder does he want me because he really does feel differently, or simply because now he thinks he can't have me?
    It'd be great if he was open to try being more serious with me. I wouldn't be against it. But I'm not up for getting my hopes up only for him to change his mind again.


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