I've Turned Him Off!!!

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I know this is going to seem like a very trivial and silly problem but it’s
bothering me and I’d like some advice!

Basically there’s a guy in work who I fancy but as we work in different departments
I rarely get to see him. On the few occasions that I know I’ll see him (meetings etc), I always
try and look my best. I would be considered a good looking girl and men often fancy me,
ask me out etc but I have VERY low confidence even with that.

Anyway, today me and a bunch of girls from the office decided to pig out and get big double burgers for lunch. He doesn’t often eat in our canteen so I didn’t think he’d be in there but lo and behold in he walks just as I take a massive bite of burger!

The only free seat was in front of me so that’s where he sat. I felt so disgusting all through lunch
munching away on a greasy burger while he ate a simple sandwich. I know it sounds silly but I feel
like I’ve blown any chance I would’ve had with this guy now!

Is this ridiculous or do ye understand? Men in particular – If there was a girl at work who you fancied but then you saw her eating a big sloppy burger would you be put off? Be honest!!

I don’t know if he does even fancy me (probably not) but I know he’s single and had hoped he might.
Now I feel I’ve blown any chance.

I know it’s silly (I’m 28 btw so not a kid) but it’s actually upset me a bit!

Thanks

Taltos

OP - think you can relax.

Only thing that would turn him off would be
a) he has a food fetish and finds anyone eating offensive
b) as you ate your burger the sauce squirted all over everyone around so much that they had to swim out.

Try not to focus on this - you will just drive yourself crazy. Why not invite him down for coffee/lunch some other day or try to chat to him to get to know him better to see if he has feelings for you?

Remember - just keep smiling when you see it

Penn

I wouldn't find it a turn off at all. I doubt you have anything to worry about. If that's the kind of thing that turns him off, he should be starting a thread in PI, not you.

Beruthiel

sloppymoppy wrote: »

Is this ridiculous or do ye understand? Men in particular – If there was a girl at work who you fancied but then you saw her eating a big sloppy burger would you be put off? Be honest!!

You're joking right?
How on earth would eating a burger put someone off?
You need to chill out woman.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys:)

Thing is, I'm not overweight at all but I felt like a fat cow eating that burger.
It was tasty though!

Usually I eat a salad or something unmessy and it's just so typical that the day I order
a double burger he walks in and sits in front of me! Agggh!

Also, there are work drinks tomorrow night and over lunch someone said 'So, everyone going to the drinks?'. My mouth was full so I couldn't answer and he didn't say anything.
I hope he goes and maybe then something will happen but I dunno.

I guess if it's meant to be it will be and there's no point worrying over things I can't control!

Thanks

Beruthiel

sloppymoppy wrote: »

I felt like a fat cow eating that burger.

Then I'd be more worried about my relationship with food/weight if I were you.

I guess if it's meant to be it will be and there's no point worrying over things I can't control!

Can't control? Of course you can. All you have to do is ask him out. You're not a child, if you want to spend time with the man, let him know for goodness sake.

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote: »

You're joking right?
How on earth would eating a burger put someone off?
You need to chill out woman.

Do you honestly mean to tell me that you wouldn't feel even a little unattractive eating a sloppy burger in front of someone you didn't know well and had a crush on? I don't believe you.

It's one thing sitting with a boyfriend eating messy burritos or chicken wings, that wouldn't bother me at all but sitting with a hot guy who I barely know trying to eat a sloppy burger is a different story altogether. It was huge and very messy and I knwo I looked awful eating it.

You'd feel fine, not a bother in that situation? I highly doubt it.

Pebbles68

I think your post says more about your lack of self confidence than anything about the guy. For many guys there is nothing more of a turn off than going to dinner with a girl who just orders a salad. Maybe he was delighted to see you are not one of those and you actually turned him on by eating the burger. And apart from that, if he were so shallow that he would judge you by what you eat would you really see yourself in a relationship with him?

fungun

yeah, says a lot about your self confidence tbh, why would that put anyone off.

You should have got sauce on your finger and winked at him as you sucked it clean.

eddison

Hi OP,


If men were to be turned off by eating a burger, then they would be extremely superficial. If this guy is like that, then maybe you don't want him!!
Men are not that superficial. What matters is qualities. A guy will date a good looking girl, but he will have a relationship with a girl/woman with good female qualities. Guys are not stupid, looks are fine, but if she is a complete youknowwhat it doesn't matter how good looking the girl/woman is.
Qualities men try to avoid are opinionated women for instance. This is different than a woman with intelligence. I am sure women don't like opinionated guys either. Cold hard women, are not that attractive to guys either.

Lack of confidence is not that important. You don't necessarily need to be confident, but kindness is important, more than confidence, sweetness is also a great quality in a woman/girl. Many female qualities that modern society does not value, are actually highly attractive to guys. Caring, is another, warmth is another, gentleness is another. So from this guys point of view, does it matter you were eating a burger- no lol!

Beruthiel

sloppymoppy wrote: »

Do you honestly mean to tell me that you wouldn't feel even a little unattractive eating a sloppy burger in front of someone you didn't know well and had a crush on? I don't believe you.

It's got everything to do with self esteem and confidence.
If some bloke I fancied was turned off by me eating a burger, then I'm better off without someone that precious.
As for whither you believe that or not, no skin off my nose.

Cheap Thrills!

OP, you have associated shame with food maybe?

Men generally find women who are neurotic about food to be a turn off, wheras women with a healthy attitude to food would be more attractive.

You said already you don't eat unhealthily normally so what's the big deal?

It is more than likely all in your head.

You need to stop stressing over trivia.

JimmyCrackCorn

sloppymoppy wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I know this is going to seem like a very trivial and silly problem but it’s
bothering me and I’d like some advice!

Basically there’s a guy in work who I fancy but as we work in different departments
I rarely get to see him. On the few occasions that I know I’ll see him (meetings etc), I always
try and look my best. I would be considered a good looking girl and men often fancy me,
ask me out etc but I have VERY low confidence even with that.

Anyway, today me and a bunch of girls from the office decided to pig out and get big double burgers for lunch. He doesn’t often eat in our canteen so I didn’t think he’d be in there but lo and behold in he walks just as I take a massive bite of burger!

The only free seat was in front of me so that’s where he sat. I felt so disgusting all through lunch
munching away on a greasy burger while he ate a simple sandwich. I know it sounds silly but I feel
like I’ve blown any chance I would’ve had with this guy now!

Is this ridiculous or do ye understand? Men in particular – If there was a girl at work who you fancied but then you saw her eating a big sloppy burger would you be put off? Be honest!!

I don’t know if he does even fancy me (probably not) but I know he’s single and had hoped he might.
Now I feel I’ve blown any chance.

I know it’s silly (I’m 28 btw so not a kid) but it’s actually upset me a bit!

Thanks

Wouldnt be a turn off at all. Though i would be envious of your burger.
(i suffer from food envy )

Your waaaaayyy over-thinking things.

LegacyUser

No, eating the burger would not be a turn off.

But looking at a girl who looks deathly self-conscious BECAUSE she's eating a burger, might be.

Although I do find girls like that can be heart-melting-ly cute.

Perhaps expound on the situation..

mood

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

OP, you have associated shame with food maybe?

Men generally find women who are neurotic about food to be a turn off, wheras women with a healthy attitude to food would be more attractive.

You said already you don't eat unhealthily normally so what's the big deal?

It is more than likely all in your head.

You need to stop stressing over trivia.

+1

You don't seem to have a healthy relationship with food.
You eat something unhealthy for once... it's not a big deal.

zxcvbnm1

To be honest this is without doubt one of the most trivial things I've seen posted here.

Your concern is someone you fancy saw you eat a burger and you have subsequently convinced yourself you've blown it.

Op - I think you have to try to build on the self esteem issues you mentioned.

moco

This happened me before, I find it very hard to eat in front of guys I fancy.

I went and got a big Mc Donalds with a few other girls in work and we were eating in the canteen. The guy I liked walked in and came over and sat at our table chatting to us and I was so embarrassed to eat it in front of him.

In saying that though, I knew it was just my own embarassment and that he probably didn't notice or care what I was eating.

Don't worry about it, if anything he probably was glad to see you eating like a normal person instead of picking at salads!

Sibylla

I wouldn't worry at all OP if he likes you it wont deter him. I've heard women not eating or pushing food around turns men off.

Overheal

Actually the turn-off is usally the nibbling on a carrot stick, after you've placed it on a scale and penciled in your worksheet for how many calories you're having for lunch.

Having a burger is perfectly normal. And this isn't Saudi Arabia: it's not taboo for women to eat red meat. It's not a turn off. It's not really a turn-anything. It's lunch.

cantdecide

I was the guy in this situation recently!! I knew the girl was very embarassed. You can rarely help the way you're going to feelin these situations. Relax. It's fine. It's not the tenth day in a row he's seen you pig out. Guys don't think girls are prim and proper all the time.

LegacyUser

sloppymoppy wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I know this is going to seem like a very trivial and silly problem but it’s
bothering me and I’d like some advice!

Basically there’s a guy in work who I fancy but as we work in different departments
I rarely get to see him. On the few occasions that I know I’ll see him (meetings etc), I always
try and look my best. I would be considered a good looking girl and men often fancy me,
ask me out etc but I have VERY low confidence even with that.

Anyway, today me and a bunch of girls from the office decided to pig out and get big double burgers for lunch. He doesn’t often eat in our canteen so I didn’t think he’d be in there but lo and behold in he walks just as I take a massive bite of burger!

The only free seat was in front of me so that’s where he sat. I felt so disgusting all through lunch
munching away on a greasy burger while he ate a simple sandwich. I know it sounds silly but I feel
like I’ve blown any chance I would’ve had with this guy now!

Is this ridiculous or do ye understand? Men in particular – If there was a girl at work who you fancied but then you saw her eating a big sloppy burger would you be put off? Be honest!!

I don’t know if he does even fancy me (probably not) but I know he’s single and had hoped he might.
Now I feel I’ve blown any chance.

I know it’s silly (I’m 28 btw so not a kid) but it’s actually upset me a bit!

Thanks

as someone who has been involved for a short time with two girls who were anorexic. It warms my heart to see a woman tuck into a meal or "pig out"

keep up the good work

spinandscribble

I can't see where you're coming from because I wouldn't think twice if it had been me.

I'd wonder would you feel disgusted if he was the one eating a burger or is it a gender bias you have or a self inflicted perspective?

iguana

sloppymoppy wrote: »

Do you honestly mean to tell me that you wouldn't feel even a little unattractive eating a sloppy burger in front of someone you didn't know well and had a crush on? I don't believe you.

I wouldn't feel that at all, not at your age and not at 10 years younger either. I do worry a bit about your associations with food if you think there is something shameful/off-putting about you eating something enthusiastically, or that you assume all other women feel the same.

RoisinDove

iguana wrote: »

I wouldn't feel that at all, not at your age and not at 10 years younger either. I do worry a bit about your associations with food if you think there is something shameful/off-putting about you eating something enthusiastically, or that you assume all other women feel the same.

+1

No offence, but this is a ridiculous concern. If anything, guys love girls who enjoy their food. The firsts dates with both my exes, I had a big sloppy burger (first guy) and chicken wings (second guy) and they thought it was adorable that I made such a mess, with sauce going everywhere, but also that I wasn't a prissy, insecure, neurotic picky eater. THAT is a real turn-off for most guys. I also find it annoying that you really believe all women are that self conscious and insecure. I enjoy my food, if someone has a problem with it, I don't want to know someone that shallow and silly.

Peanut2011

OP, you have nothing to worry about. IMO it is refreshing to see a girl that is willing to enjoy her food.

There are extremes and I think everyone knows here what they are so I won't say them, however from what you have told us, there is nothing to worry about.

helimachoptor

Beruthiel wrote: »

You're joking right?
How on earth would eating a burger put someone off?
You need to chill out woman.

tbh i'd prefer a woman whos comfortable eating a burger. Normally if i go for lunch with any girls its a bottle of water and a mini salad for them i always feel like a horse!!

Oh and just ask him out..

Dave!

sloppymoppy wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I know this is going to seem like a very trivial and silly problem but it’s
bothering me and I’d like some advice!

Basically there’s a guy in work who I fancy but as we work in different departments
I rarely get to see him. On the few occasions that I know I’ll see him (meetings etc), I always
try and look my best. I would be considered a good looking girl and men often fancy me,
ask me out etc but I have VERY low confidence even with that.

Anyway, today me and a bunch of girls from the office decided to pig out and get big double burgers for lunch. He doesn’t often eat in our canteen so I didn’t think he’d be in there but lo and behold in he walks just as I take a massive bite of burger!

The only free seat was in front of me so that’s where he sat. I felt so disgusting all through lunch
munching away on a greasy burger while he ate a simple sandwich. I know it sounds silly but I feel
like I’ve blown any chance I would’ve had with this guy now!

Is this ridiculous or do ye understand? Men in particular – If there was a girl at work who you fancied but then you saw her eating a big sloppy burger would you be put off? Be honest!!

I don’t know if he does even fancy me (probably not) but I know he’s single and had hoped he might.
Now I feel I’ve blown any chance.

I know it’s silly (I’m 28 btw so not a kid) but it’s actually upset me a bit!

Thanks

There's the key point. This is all in your head. Nobody gives a sh*t if they see a woman eating a burger, greasy or otherwise. He either liked you before seeing that, or he didn't, and seeing you eating lunch did not affect him in any way.

kevin99

Forget about eating the 'sloppy'burger in front of this guy you fancy for a minute.

Did you talk with him? How well do you know him? You had a great opportunity to chat with him and have a laugh about the burger.

I would have offer him some or laughed that I will be going for a long walk to get rid of the extra pounds!!

No he wouldn't be put off by you eating a burger.

Can I make a suggestion to you!

Ask him if he would like a coffee and preferably away from the office.

It's simple really.