Heartbroken and completely depressed.

LegacyUser

I was seeing a guy for a while and we broke up because he had some stuff going on in his life and felt he couldn't give a relationship it's all and wasn't treating me the way I deserved to be. He still cares about me in the romantic sense but needs to be on his own. I believe what he says. I know my feelings for him are more intense than his feelings for me, I am completely in love with him and I miss him so much. We are trying to stay friends, but minimal contact. It's too painful for me right now.

I've cried about it every day for the past 3 months and I just can't get over it. I am sure that my friends are bored to death hearing me talk about how I'm feeling, they seem so disinterested. I can't eat, can't sleep, I feel like running away. Other days I just shut myself away and talk to no one. I was feeling a bit depressed before this happened but I feel a million times worse now.

I dont feel like there's anyone I can talk to. I feel so utterly alone. I've been having thoughts I shouldn't be, like wanting to end it all. I had my heart broken once years ago and I don't remember it being this bad. I feel like it's never gonna end, like I'm never going to heal. I'm in complete despair and don't know what to do.

I'm sorry but I really just need to let it all out. I know there's a lot of posts about heartbreak etc, but I just didn't know where to turn.

Peanut2011

OP, it's been 3 months only.. It takes a lot longer is most cases if we are honest with ourselves to get over the person you loved. Yes we all go trough that unless the ending it was our choice. Yes it all seems dark now, but it will get brighter over time.

He still cares about me in the romantic sense but needs to be on his own.

Sorry OP but this sentence is what is wrong. Your OH is obviously happy to get the benefit of the relationship but none of the worries.

The only way to start healing process and get on with your life is to cut away from him completely and do not be clinging on in hope he changes his mind.

Cherish what you had but accept it is over.

JimmyCrackCorn

In my opinion op.

Its not a relationship, no matter what he says if hes not there for you and not willing to make any commitment or effort to build are relationship its just not.

In my opinion it has no future.

Roselm

Lotus1188 wrote: »

I've been having thoughts I shouldn't be, like wanting to end it all.

I think if you're feeling like this it would be important for you to talk to a professional about this so you can get some support.
I wouldn't take it lightly that you're feeling like this. It's so tough when a relationship comes to an end and can feel like you're never going to not be hurting but this seems to have hit you particularly badly. It seems like this is getting on top of you so please talk to even your GP as a first port of call as they may be able to recommend someone for you to talk to.
Good luck!

Smashhits

Lotus1188 I know exactly how you're feeling right now.

I recently separated from the love of my life after 18years together. It's so hard to see through the pain you feel in your heart but it does get easier. I can vouch for that.
I agree with Roselm that you need to discuss these feelings with a professional. Go to your GP it's the first stop. You need to sleep and eat if only so that you'll have the strength to deal with these feelings.

I was told that he cared about me too but to be honest that's not enough in my book. I loved him with my whole being and he just walked away without a backware glance.

Please go to the doctor. Get some sleep, eat, these are the basic needs of your body and mind. Good luck I really hope you well and peace.

G86

Hey there..

First of all, I sincerely doubt that your friends are 'bored to death' of hearing you talk about it. They're your friends - that's what they're there for, and I'm sure they've all gone through something similar at some stage. People often underestimate how the end of relationship will affect them, but it's like a bereavement in a way, and it's often just as painful - because the person hasn't just been taken away from you, they've actually decided that they don't want to be with you. And that hurts, a hell of a lot.

I'm sure he does still care about you, and yes maybe there are factors we don't know about that are preventing him from having a relationship with you despite this. But, you have to accept that regardless of how he says he feels, he's telling you that he can't be with you, and you can't change that.

I know everyone says it, but you just have to keep busy. Make plans for each weekend, and do things you wouldn't have normally done when you were with him, it really does help. It won't make you forget him, but it'll help you to remember that you were happy once without him. As well as that, make sure you take out some time for yourself every now and then, don't be afraid to just lie in your bed and have a good cry - everyone needs to sometimes.

You're in love, and you can't just click your fingers to make that feeling go away, but you can do things to try and feel a little bit better. And someday you'll wake up and realise that those things are working, it's just going to take a wee while. Be patient, and allow yourself to be sad, break ups are one of the hardest things we go through in life and no-one will think any less of you for it.

In a few months, you'll look back on this time and you'll realise how far you've come, I promise. Just keep the chin up for now, that's all anyone expects you to do.

Johnny Bitte

Just went through this myself OP and from what I can see the best thing for YOU is to cut ties with this guy. No contact at all. You cant move on if he is constantly in your life.

It WILL get better with time, I promise you that.

We broke up 4 months ago and yesterday I found out my ex has been with a guy she works with since we broke up. A couple of weeks ago this would have damn near killed me but I was able to deal with it fairly well and let it go as much as I could.

You need to do whats best for you, your health is the MOST important thing and it should come first.

If you feel like talking to your friends is not enough then I highly recommend taking with your GP and seeking counseling. There's also www.aware.ie if you think its just getting on top of you.

Hope it all works out.