Exhausted and can't change anything

LegacyUser

Hey, I'm a girl. am 23 and in final year and work weekends to pay rent. I can't get a loan because I owe money on my credit card from 3rd year, when I applied they said I would have to be considered and given current status that will take time. I've spent this past 10 months in a haze. Literally. I used to work nights and was always sort of tired. Now I work days into the night and am in college during the day 4days during the week. I am so tired I'm not getting any work done. I'm meant to be working on a dissertation that's due in may. I don't get to sleep at night no matter what I do. I'm sometimes too tired to sleep. I wake up early, drag myself out of bed, shower, get dressed and go in, take notes, go to classes then come home and try force myself to do the work, If i can't i nap and it's usually bad sleep (I wake up in cold sweats). I just realised I can't do it anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do I'm getting more and more stressed. with coursework mounting, employer getting annoyed that I look very "wired" all the time, he thinks i'm on drugs.

Not looking for medical advice but I do have medical problems that haven't been investigated furtherr. a month ago I got blood tests from the doctor because i get 3periods a month and have done for over a year since i went off the pilll. I still get them and am destroyed tired. Trying to keep up this lifestyle is wrecking me. Doctor says I'll have to wait another while and see what happens. Won't send me for a scan because she doesn't think it's anything serious.

I live with my boyfriend who snores, so if I DO get any sleep at night he disturbs it sometimes by snoring or (if he drinks) talking in his sleep.

I don't know what I can change here. I won't leave college. I have to try make this work. I can't leave work because i'll have nothing to live on. I love my boyfriend and won't leave him. I don't want to take pills for sleepign because I'm dozy enough , this would only make me worse.

I don't know what to do and I think I'm starting to crack up.

Peanut2011

Dear OP you do have yourself in a very tough predicament, but I can tell you, if it helps at all, you are not alone. Many people, especially these days, are struggling with the finances and that is your core issue.

Having to do the work in order to pay the bills and trying to finish the college. I do admire your persistence and your will to finish the college, a loads of people would give up already, but you have not.

Your medical issues could be caused by stress but I'm in no way qualified to say yes or no, but I would assume that is why your GP has not sent you any further at this stage. In either case, the lifestyle you have at the moment will ultimately get the best of you. You can't continue that way.

One thing you have not mentioned is the situation your boyfriend is in. Does he work or is he in college too? Do you two live alone or rent with others...?

Reason I am asking is the fact that you are in your final year and maybe your OH can pull up a bit of extra weight to help you. Maybe financially take your part of the rent and so on. Maybe rent a room to someone or move in to a less expensive accommodation to allow you to cut down on your working hours.

Unfortunately there is no miracle option out there but I guess you need to speak to your OH and see if there is anything he can do to assist you. After all it is your last year and I'm sure some arrangement can be done to help you trough this year.

Apart from that I can't see other options unless there are family members that can assist. What ever the outcome I do wish you the best of luck and hope you can have this resolved for your sake soon.

Best of luck OP.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Im not really going to give you advise cause I myself am kind of in the same situation as yourself. I was in fact going to post my own thread on the issue. I am also in Fourth year of a science degree and to say I am stressed out is an understatement. I know noone ever said it was going to be easy but I am always tired. I cant fall asleep at night and when I wake up in the morning I have to drag myself out of the bed. The thoughts of all the work I have to do is killing me. I really don't feel able for it all. If I dint work at weekends I have no money to keep the car going or to have money in general for myself. The battle of trying to balance everything in my life right night is a struggle. I have no time any more to do the things I enjoy like going for a swim etc.
The one thing I can say to you and what my parents have said to me is that there are only a few months left until you are done. Even if you never use what you are doing at college at least you will have a degree to your name. You have come this far so its only a few months for the final slog. You are definately not alone OP.

Overheal

Have you applied to the student finance office or have you only been going through your bank/credit institute?

LegacyUser

I went to the student assistance office and they told me that I missed the submission date and that I'd be considered by around late April because of the amount of applications they've have received of late and they are assessing them in order of arrival. I didn't expect any of this to be happening to me. We're living together in a small flat. We had to move out from living with other people because we had weird working hours and our flatmates had a huge problem with us coming in early morning and closing the doors or turning on the tv for example.

Boyfriend is paying debts he accumulated in college , he's full time and on 8.90 an hour. He has on occasion taken the full bulk of the rent but it's been tight. We are only merely surviving.


I'm not entirely sure what to do. I think that the previous poster was right that a lot of this does boil down to financial insecurity.

Ainekav

There's a thing called the EU student assistance fund - it's this thing that you can apply for up to 600 euro, once or twice a year that covers rent, food, travel etc where applicable - anything except college expenses. I recently got a months rent back from it before Christmas and Im applying again this week. You explain yourself and why you should get it, which is good. I just said that with college work, I don't have time to work full time, and therefore I needed help with the rent. Im also not eligible for any grant, can't go on the dole etc, said my parents arent in a position to support me anymore, Ive never received any help from the state-so I put that in aswell into my explanation bit. Go into reception of college and ask them about it. Don't let them fob you off - it's there and its available to students in your position. (I'm nearly sure its available in most colleges, unless you are in a very small independent college or something)

Also - are you eligible for part dole?

Now, with regards the sleep bit. Could you get your boyfriend to take something for the snoring - there is stuff out there. Could you get him to sleep on the couch one night a week so you could get some rest? could you tell him to sleep on couch the nights he is drinking? even for a while, until you sort yourself out a bit. tell him how important it is that you get some sleep and that his snoring is disrupting this and making you stressed.

Have you tried having warm baths before you go to bed, putting lavender on your pillow, stuff like that? I find it very hard to go to sleep - takes me over an hour most nights. You have to try and go to bed unstressed - write down that you need to do the next day before you go to bed, or write down your worries. i often have to get up in the middle of the night and write stuff into my phone or on some paper, just to stop my head spinning with thoughts. If you smoke, don't smoke right before you go to bed, you will be awake for ages. No heavy meals, tea coffee etc. Stop studying an hour before bed if you can - it will help you sleep faster in the long run if you are not thinking about studying. watch some tv for a half an hour, listen to music etc. De-stress or you have no chance of sleeping!!!!!

Have you explained to your employer that you are stressed and tired and if he continues asking if you are on drugs, tell him you would be fully prepared to take a drug test. that should shut him up. Pr*ck.

ps. go back to your doctor and tell her that you are having trouble sleeping and feel run-down etc and ask her is there anything you can do to combat this, maybe homeopathic remedies or something.

Get yourself some berocca and take one every morning, make sure you are eating well etc.

You need to sort this out now, before college work becomes more stressful, so that you are able to handle it when it gets even busier. best of luck.