Sexaulity fluctuates

LegacyUser

Amongst heterosexual women I'm straight, amongst gay women I'm lesbian or bi. It's as though I'm subconsciously conforming to different norms depending on the company. In reality I'm mostly attracted to other women but curious about men although rarely sexually attracted to them. I like conforming to the norm and belonging....but I'm not sure how I'd be treated as myself, would hetero female friends treat me differently? Would they be afraid of me being sexually interested in them?.

Any advice?
Mother Theresa

Aishae

it's crossed my mind in the past - would my female friends worry i was after them - but it was a fleeting thought. cos i said to myself 'well i dont want to lose friends but if anyone would end a friendship based on my sexuality it isnt worth it' but its easier said than done. i see what youe talking about - when im with straight friends and they're slobbering over men i don't slobber too but i might chime in but in a joking way. i stay true to myself though, last week they were on about sexy rugby players. one of them sent a pic saying thats why they watch rugby. they know what my sexuality is but they know i'll play along. i didn't say phoarw about the bloke but i did joke saying she (my friend) should give him a lesson in 'behaviour'.

i have thrown in the odd comment with them such as 'oh im having a captain janeway flashback - yum' (blimey she's smoking!) or that - i dont go overboard but then i never was OTT with this stuff - i dont wanna make them too uncomfy but they seem ok with it. i think partly because i dont hold their straight sexuality against THEM

Chuchoter

Other people have nothing to do with your sexuality. Who do you like when you aren't around anyone you need to conform to? Who can you picture your life with?

LegacyUser

hey OP

im in a similar situation see im currently confused about my orientation ive always assumed "oh im a girl therefore i must like men" but what i have noticed the past year is that i have found myself becoming more and more attracted to women than men

Last week i went to a club and the upper part is a gay bar...i really did enjoy it (im in france btw) but i couldnt act on impulse because my friends were there...

honestly i dont know what i am....i think im gay or bi...i do not think i am 100% straight ahhhh its just too confusing

if i am gay i do have fears like you...how would my female friends react?? would they shun me? would they get really uncomfortable around me? i am so afraid of telling them when i do figure out what am i...but for the moment im just going to have to figure it out for myself


sorry if this isnt relevant feel free to delete this post it just feels so nice to be able to even talk about these feelings etc without getting embarrassed

Killer_banana

I'm bisexual and I've had no issues with any of my friends, male or female, regarding my sexuality. People are more accepting than you expect. I was terrified of certain people's opinions and in the end my fears were completely unfounded. I have only ever had one girl instantly start thinking I fancied her when she discovered my sexuality but it turned out to be more to do with her own insecurities regarding sexuality than anything else.

That said only ocme out if you feel you want to, not because you think you have to. Don't rush into labelling yourself either. You'll know when you know and there's no easy way around it really. Good luck with anyway and hope everything works out for you.

bitter_lemon

oh i don't know op you may be surprised. i find straight women can be very flattered and a lot of them can be bi curious.
i myself find it a headache. they can get offended if you don't fancy them. its very silly really and annoys me quite a bit.
this is just my experience.....