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Do I want to move to America for the wrong reasons?

  • 13-02-2011 4:40pm
    #1
    loulabellek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭


    Last Summer I went on a J1 to America. It was my last chance to go (graduating), I had a tough 3 years in college financially and I had just come out of a 3 year relationship and was a bit messed up. I thought this would help me loads and that I would get rid of any want of travelling before settliing down to a career in Ireland.

    I had the best Summer ever. I met some great people and not so great people. I learned so much about myself, about other people and life in general (as corny as it all sounds loll). I got rid of a bad friend and made friends for life. I loved living the beach life, experiencing American life and learning all these new things. I worked, tanned and drank to my hearts content. I met a guy who showed me that I was a good person and that I shouldn't settle for anything less than I deserved. It was a long time since I had ever felt like I had any worth.

    So when I came home I hadn't much intention off going back. After I started my full time job (nothing to do with my degree) I quickly missed America and some of the people I met (this new guy being one of them). I graduated and felt that career prospects are nil in Ireland. Even lecturers pushed us to thinking that moving abroad would be a good career move.

    Most of my friends are moving away to Oz and Canada but I have my heart set on going back to the states but I don't know if it's for the right reasons. I'm worried it's to see this guy. I talk to him every few weeks and if I do go back, he would like to see me. A friend I was supposed to move in with over there has to go home for Summer and Autumn and I'm starting to wonder if moving over is a good idea. I'm not sure if I can move over by myself because I'm afraid I'll be lonely (i think I know I will).

    If I am wanting to move over for the right reasons I don't know where to being. How do I meet people to go over with...

    I'm so confused about what to do and it's really getting me down. Nobody seems to understand.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    You said it yourself... You seem to have other reason to going back to the states aside from this guy. If you are honest with yourself and there are valid reasons for going back to the states then do it! If he is the only/ primary reason I would consider having some alternate plans if things don't go your way in the US.. If I were you I'd consider another destination/ job elsewhere in the US if your possible relationship doesn't work out. You went to the states to get over a relationship, make it that you don't have to the leave the US to get over another. I say go for it! But be careful.. and have an alternate plan x


  • #3
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    OP have you actually thought about the logistics about making this move, beyond it just being a pipe dream?

    Have you thought about the visa process and the nightmarish challenges you would likely face, about what your chances of progressing career-wise would be if that's indeed what you want to do, about funding the move accounting for visa, flights, insurance, accomm, and savings to survive on until you find work, about where exactly you would move to etc etc?

    I'm not trying to put you off, but J1 experiences are quite removed from reality - they're three months of escape from your usual responsibilities where life revolves around sunshine, booze and social life and everything/everyone is new and exciting. I did three of them and swore blind each time that the States would be my future home, but the reality of it is that, beyond the obvious visa difficulties, I'd be risking months/years of unemployment in my particular field of work, there'd be no 'safety in numbers' this time like you get on J1 as I'd be taking the plunge alone and it'd be impossible to recreate all the experiences I had as a young college student.

    All I'm saying is, you really need to explore all angles on this and see if it is actually feasible in your life and what you want to achieve in the coming years.


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