Obsessed with this girl

LegacyUser

Obsessed with this girl!
I was mostly a quiet person all my life, never had many friends, just about made it into "the group", never been in a relationship, had very few girl-friends ever, ive very little confidence, im bone skinny, very unattractive features, i was very shy ect until i moved school for my final year where i met this girl and we became great friends.

That was about a year and a half ago and I havnt changed much and now were still great friends in a way ive never been friends with anybody else before. We tx every day, chat on facebook whenever we're online, we live together in college, we hang around together everyday and tell each other more or less everything. It brightens my day when i see her.

I was loving my new life and friends up until about 6 months ago when i started falling for her. Now im at the stage where i never like anybody so much and i don’t know what to do about it.

I know for a fact that she doesn’t fancy me. she often tells me of other lads she’s interested in, how she cant wait to get a boyfriend, to get him to cook for her and carry her bags and drive her places ect ect. So i know she’s not interested. She also seems to have this "policy" that she wont hook up with anybody she is friends with. She often askes why i get with so few girls when I’m out and says sometime she cant picture me having a girlfriend (not in a mean way). I overheard her recently telling her friend how im not her "boyfriend type" at all. Were together so often that most people actually presume that were going out.

she is the type of girl who is a little bit simple to be honest, she confides most things in me but i never tell her much of how im feeling because im just a lad and its not my thing really so she doesn’t ask

I think im becoming really obsessed. It’s like having a girl friend who hangs with you 24/7, acts exactly like a girlfriend should except without the loving and she talks about other lads and who she would like to get with all the time. And im finding it really hard. I hate it when she goes out to town with her girlfriends because im paranoid that she will get with somebody that’s not me. I have it when she talks about boys to me or even to anyone else when im around although ive have to give her advice and listen to her. It really kills me inside. Ive never seen her even kiss anyone but it’s only a matter of time i suppose.

These no way i could tell her how i feel because it would just make everything really awkward between us, so try distance yourself right? I tried that to but i just cant... shes friends with all my other friends, i share a house with and shes great fun to hang around with and im really bored when im not with her... what makes it worse is we live together so i get to see her perks every day which is adding to my frustration. Im not a complete loner i have loads of other friends too just none of them are quite like her. I tried to spread out a bit and make new friends and i did but it didn’t change. Even now if i had a girlfriend id imagine i would still spend most of my time with this girl and thinking about her.

So what do i do? Im so unbelievable frustrated at the minute. She’s not the best looking girl in the world now but still, someday she’s going to get a boyfriend and im going to become depressed.
I can just imagine the night she brings him home to the college house and goes off to bed with him while i try to sleep on my own thinking he’s getting what ive always wanted

I know this must sound fairly pathetic to be reading but it’s the whole load of my chest anyway...
Seems like a destructive circle to me.