Crush on girl at work but is she single? Confused.

James400

Hi all, looking for opinions here. I'm slightly confused.

I'm a single male in my late 30's and i think i've developed a bit of a crush on a girl at work but i'm undecided on whether to ask her out or not. By the way my company doesn't have anything against staff dating.

Anyway, the girl in question is in her early 30's and had been working at my company for about two years, i've been there eight years. She works in a different part of the building and initially i didn't like her at all as i was under the impression that she was a bit full of herself and she came across to me as being rude! I disliked her at the start.

Anyway, this impression of her changed with me when at the work Christmas Party i ended up standing beside her at the bar by chance and when both of us where alone. I was being polite when i asked her how she was getting on and then both of us ended up talking for a while and i then realised that she was in fact quite nice with a good aura about her.

Also when this took place, i felt she was standing close beside me deliberately, but i was unsure if this was an indication she liked me or if she was flirting. Anyway, both went our seperate ways, then later she had decided to leave after a half an hour or so in the night club, so i spontaneusly walked over to her and gave her a big hug before she went, she spontaneusly hugged me back.

Anyway, i had to check if she was on any social networking and she was on three sites. Her profile on myspace from about three years ago stated that she was single, her information on facebook just has a picture profile of herself and some basic information which is indicating she is single. Also i found her on twitter and she is tweeting stuff like 'i bought a dress just looking for an event to go to' and 'got an all expenses paid holiday'. I don't want to come across as a stalker! but this does indicate to me she's single.

Anyway to last week (more confusion for me here) i was at a company update meeting which all staff attended and i noticed by chance she had a screen saver of a baby on her computer.! It could be her niece/ nephew or whatever but i was then begining to think is she a single mother- i don't think she is as one of her social network sites says she'd like children 'someday'. If she was it wouldn't really bother me as i'd like to see how i'd get on with her.

There's another upcoming work event, which she is likely to be attending..so i'm seriously thinking about asking her out, obviously i don't want to put my foot in it if she's already seeing someone.

By the way she's no engagement/wedding ring etc..i just don't want to embrass her or myself if she's already seeing someone.

kingtut

The fact that you have been searching for her on the internet is kinda scary to be honest and a bit stalkerish....:eek:

....however why not ask her if she has any summer holiday plans and if so are there many going? Or ask what she got up to at the weekend...she might mention a boyfriend in the conversation.

Ease up on the internet searching though! If she ever found out the last thing she would want you as is a boyfriend!!! Best of luck!

John Mason

wow, just wow:eek:


seriously, just ask her!!!

thefeatheredcat

Was there a good vibe between you?

Don't trust what you see on social networking sites to be true or an accurate representation of reality unless it's confirmed to be by fact.

When anyone noticed pictures of my nephews on my previous work desk, they must have wondered too, but they were there as a reminder of what is important. And the screensaver could just be a picture she thought was cute. Who knows?

I would say, just get talking to her and ask her out. Even if she says no, that's really the worst that can happen. Better to ask than to have an opportunity pass you by.

Ghost Estate

kingtut wrote: »

The fact that you have been searching for her on the internet is kinda scary to be honest and a bit stalkerish....:eek:

don't worry lad, everybody does it.

ggrr1970

Follow her home and find a decent hiding place in the bushes. Bring a flask and hunker down for a few days and see who comes and goes. When you're satisfied she's single, wait until after dark and tap out 'I Love You' in morse code on her window.
If that doesn't work then I'm all out of ideas.

mood

Casually ask around in work etc or just ask her out.

Firetrap

How about having an actual conversation with her? Get chatting to her at lunchtime or some other time. If she has a kid or a boyfriend, they'll be dropped into the conversation sooner or later.

mood

Firetrap wrote: »

How about having an actual conversation with her? Get chatting to her at lunchtime or some other time. If she has a kid or a boyfriend, they'll be dropped into the conversation sooner or later.

+1

And getting to know her better before asking her out is a good idea anyway.

Ickle Magoo

ggrr1970 given a weeks holiday to read up on the charter.

Please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP and reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the forum rules in the charter.

Many thanks.
Ickle

John400

Ghost Estate wrote: »

don't worry lad, everybody does it.

Absolutely, some people who have an interest in somebody will check out your myspace's, facebook's and twitter's. All the OP is saying is that he doesn't want to make a fool of himself while probably embarassing himself and her in the process, crikey what's wrong with that? He's probably doing the right thing in a way.

OP, i agree with what others are saying, i'd probably ask her out purely on the basis that her social networking sites are indicating that she is likely to be single.

If you don't have the opportunity to ask her out at work, i'd do it at the upcoming work event.

As regards her status, if she wasn't single it would be likely that she would be posting pictures of her and her partner/boyfriend. And as regards her possibly being a single mother, i'm guessing that she isn't as she also would possibly post pictures of her child.

ggrr1970, patronising the OP isn't going to help the guy.

James400

thefeatheredcat wrote: »

Was there a good vibe between you?

There was a good vibe between us at the Christmas Party, absolutely. As i said, i was very aware that she was standing quite close to me at the bar.

When she was leaving it just came over me to go over and give her a hug.

As regards her status i'm 99% sure she's single. The work event is close so i'll ask her out at it, as i don't really have an opportunity to do so at work at the moment.

kevin99

Ask her for a coffee in the office canteen. Or invite her to some event at the weekend.
You say you are not in the same office as her, so if she declined your invite, you are not going to see her every minute of the day.
The internet thing is not stalking nor weird. Guys and girls do it all the time.
I mean all you have to do is google someone's name and all the public info about them springs up.
I think you are slightly obsessive about her. So, the sooner you ask her the better.

John400

kevin99 wrote: »

Ask her for a coffee in the office canteen. Or invite her to some event at the weekend.
You say you are not in the same office as her, so if she declined your invite, you are not going to see her every minute of the day.
The internet thing is not stalking nor weird. Guys and girls do it all the time.
I mean all you have to do is google someone's name and all the public info about them springs up.
I think you are slightly obsessive about her. So, the sooner you ask her the better.

Nah, personally i don't think the OP is obsessive about her, there's no doubting he likes her a lot though.

I agree i don't think the internet thing is stalking nor weird, as i said the OP is actually trying to establish her status avoiding any potential future embarassment for them both. Nothing wrong with that.

A female friend of mine said that she does think this girl has an interest in the OP, girls who like a guy will move close in to him.

James400

Bugger! I just found out that she's going to the UK for the company for three days around the time of the upcoming party. I'm hoping to God that she's going over there during the week because i think the party is at an upcoming weekend.

Also, as i said i'm in a separate part of the building to her so she's in a different canteen/area etc. She's busy and so am i.

****e!

John400

James400 wrote: »

Bugger! I just found out that she's going to the UK for the company for three days around the time of the upcoming party. I'm hoping to God that she's going over there during the week because i think the party is at an upcoming weekend.

Also, as i said i'm in a separate part of the building to her so she's in a different canteen/area etc. She's busy and so am i.

****e!

First off, don't panic!

Don't automatically assume she won't be in attendance. Usually work things take place on week days, also she may want to return home to attend the function.

Or she may want to return home at the weekend anyway. I wouldn't jump the gun.

John400

kingtut wrote: »

Ease up on the internet searching though! If she ever found out the last thing she would want you as is a boyfriend!!! Best of luck!

For instance, Facebook don't give users access to profile views unless she has an app installed which i doubt.

Also Twitter and My Space can be searched/viewed by anybody without the user knowing.