Attention Canine and Feline Canditates - Manifestos PLease

tommy21

Running in the national constituency, Lucy has several items on her manifesto, including:

1) The Arts make little contribution at the moment - we have individuals on the street without chum, without kennels. Until this is rectified, all funding is suspended for the Arts. That is the view of my breed and I'll stand by it.

2) All cat's shall be made to clean the pavements via licking, and to hunt down rodents in the sewers. Whisker length to be no more than 2mm.

3) No more discrimination against dog kind. It is not easy to type with paws. That shall be reform No.3: Dog friendly keypads.

4) Canine/Feline relationships shall be outlawed. The tails of the offenders will be cut off. There shall be no integration. There shall be no more monstrous coppies or dittens - they are the spawn of satan.




I will now take questions from the good animal owning public and of course my competitors who have yet failed to produce a solitary piece of campaign literature.

Vote for progress. Vote for pedigree. Vote Lucy.

Shazanne

The Millie Manifesto will be officially launched at the Kennel Club over this coming weekend.
Photographers and Press welcome to attend.
No whisltes allowed.

tommy21

Shazanne wrote: »

The Millie Manifesto will be officially launched at the Kennel Club over this coming weekend.
Photographers and Press welcome to attend.
No whisltes allowed.

I would look forward to engaging in a public debate in English, Doggish and Cattish at that time.

Shazanne

tommy21 wrote: »

I would look forward to engaging in a public debate in English, Doggish and Cattish at that time.

And a whole lot of bull -ish too!! If we get enough candidates we should have a ballot on February 25th! Now that our Secret Santa excitement is over we need something to keep us amused!!!

Cherry Blossom

Shazanne wrote: »

The Millie Manifesto will be officially launched at the Kennel Club over this coming weekend.
Photographers and Press welcome to attend.
No whisltes allowed.

What are Millie's views on enslaving other species, chopping off of bodily parts and whisker extractions?

tommy21

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

What are Millie's views on enslaving other species, chopping off of bodily parts and whisker extractions?

You are twisting my words. The chopping off of body parts applies to criminals, feline and canine alike. Nobody mentioned anything about whisker extractions, but rather a maximum length of growth. A quick trim will suffice in the case of those already exceeding this length. I never mentioned enslavement, just pecking order.

tommy21

I have been usurped! Opposition party Chief Pip and my former best friend has entered the race:

Cherry Blossom

tommy21 wrote: »

You are twisting my words. The chopping off of body parts applies to criminals, feline and canine alike.

tommy21 wrote: »

4) Canine/Feline relationships shall be outlawed. The tails of the offenders will be cut off. There shall be no integration.

Since when is it a crime to associate with those who have a different view of the world, in this economic crisis we need solidarity as a nation not segregation :mad:. Corporal punishment has no place in modern society!

tommy21 wrote: »

. Nobody mentioned anything about whisker extractions, but rather a maximum length of growth. A quick trim will suffice in the case of those already exceeding this length.

Sure! this is where you start but where will it end?!?!?! I ask you that?

tommy21 wrote: »

I never mentioned enslavement, just pecking order.

tommy21 wrote: »

2) All cat's shall be made to clean the pavements via licking,

Pecking order my ***!! Never in my life have I seen such a blatent attempt at introducing enslavement, it is you who is now 'twisting your words'!

tommy21 wrote: »

3) No more discrimination against dog kind.

In the words of a very wise bird, what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander! Equality to all-kind I say!

tommy21 wrote: »

they are the spawn of satan.

This religious cult nonsence has no place in politics, away with you and your corporal punishment proposals and facist policies :mad:

tommy21 wrote: »

Vote Lucy.

I certainly will not! :rolleyes:

tommy21

Blatant lies by AJ - I suspect she may be Eddie the Aggravator. Why don't you go join the ranks of Candidate Pip - the feline's choice :rolleyes:

adser53

I find this laughable! Lucy is not capable of leading us from the dire situation our country finds itself in.

I have been supporting Stephen the badger for many months and he is a force to be reckoned with.

I urge you all to vote for Stephen!
http://m.facebook.com/group.php?gid=77419071453&refid=46

Cherry Blossom

tommy21 wrote: »

Blatant lies by AJ - I suspect she may be Eddie the Aggravator. Why don't you go join the ranks of Candidate Pip - the feline's choice :rolleyes:

I shall be voting for candidate Daisy and her campaign against wrongful incarceration and corporal punishment having gone through the system herself and her policies for the introduction of a fair justice system. Her team is currently deciding on a date for a press release announcing that she will be running.

koneko

koneko

1. WOOOOOOOOOO
2. Wooo wooo wooo
3. BARK!
4. <sleeping>

antomagoo

EGAR

VOTE FOR BOGEY "THE BOGSTER" EGAR. Here is a statement of what he thinks of his feline opponents:



The Bogster stands for equality of all breeds, against breedism and for a peaceful co-existence between his kind and the two legged animals who are his slaves at present.

VOTE for BOGSTER and the country will be a peaceful place from which idiot BSL politicians are banned or thrown into solitary after which they will be quietly pts'd.

VOTE for BOGSTER and you vote for FREEDOM!






The Bogster would also like to know if Rosie has a date for Valentine's Day

Shazanne

As a representative of the Canine Rescue Party Millie is focused on the right of all dogs to have a Forever Home.
If successful in winning a bed in Leinster Dog House, Millie will pledge to be
the bark of every dog in kennels and pounds throughout the country!

Her Manifesto Covers Four Main Areas

Housing ; The provision of affordable kennels to ALL dogs, including comfy
beds, central heating and running water.
Health ; Private vet care for ALL in individual crates.
The banning of invasive procedures such as the squeezing of
anal glands.
Social ; Behaviour and obedience training for all humans. When a dog says
"walk" or "treat" we mean now!
Finance; A weekly allowance for food and treats will be mandatory for
all dog owners.

The Canine Rescue Party will fund all proposals from the annual D.L.F. (Dog Licence Fund). Other "candidates", such as members of the L.F.F. Party (Lazy Fat Felines) who are seeking election claim they will finance their proposals through the I.M.F. (Illegal Money 4 Felines) Beware of fat cats seeking your support!!

Vote No. 1 Millie - Your Bark, Your Future!

Cherry Blossom

VOTE 1 DAISY!



A Vote for Daisy is a vote for Diversity!

Bring an end to corporal punishment and unjust incarceration through no fault of our own. The 2-legs labour party proposes to end the lives of victims and punish the ignorant 2-legs by forcing them to become literate so they can educate themselves. I'm sure they would believe this to be a terrible punishment but it does not compare!

Improve the pound conditions for all 4-legs and upgrade this prison system from the dark ages!

Improve the education system at primary level to include basic animal care before the 2-legs become old enough to become corrupt.

Channel much needed funds into the 4-leggers social service system.

A vast wealth of property around the country lies empty these can be utilised as Houses for horses! Digs for Doggies! Cottages for Cats! so many are left out in the cold to perish from hunger, exposure and disease! The time is now, I propose a whole new kind of United Ireland.

For the extra needy I propose free wheelbarrows, window cleaning equipment and extra food rations for cats in their increasingly difficult circumstances.

Cherry Blossom

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

For the extra needy I propose free wheelbarrows, window cleaning equipment and extra food rations for cats in their increasingly difficult circumstances.

Um . . . Daisy wasn't too sure what a cat was, she doesn't know cats and asked what line of work they were in. I said some were farm labourers but most were either house cats or unemployed due to the fact that they often have very large families to care for and have a high number of unwanted pregnancies. I don't think she has fully understood yet :rolleyes:

Shazanne

Millie Update!

Millie was out canvassing most of the day and has identified a number of issues that need her attention, such as footpath pooing, off-lead aggressors and needless barkers. She will be taking up these matters during the week.
It has also come to her attention that another dog may be about to declare her intention to "walk" in the Election and is planning a smear campaign against Millie. However, her Director of Elections, Max, is working to address this and his bite is worse than his bark!

VOTE NO 1 Millie - YOUR BARK, YOUR FUTURE!

Gulliver

Lily is tough. She has fought for what she believes in. A vote for Lily will see a new era in pan-species cooperation. She is not bound by the partisan politics that have gotten this country in the mess it's in. She knows what it takes to get this country out of recession and will do whatever is needed to achieve this, even if it means driving a digger through the Dáil.

Come together.
Vote Lily No. 1!

teeky

CHLOE: WORKING TO KEEP YOUR TAIL WAGGING!
Chloe's manifesto targets a number of key canine concerns including the following:

1: Ensuring that nothing furry, four-legged and tail wagging is ever allowed stray in unmarked territory without microchipping, I.D tags and pretty collars.

2: Making sure that no former stray is ever made to feel inferior or inadequate compared to pure bred dogs who rely solely on snappy sound-barks and cheap tricks for treats.

3: Protecting the tails of all future terriers with the introduction of tough measures imposed on any human who dares to dock them.

4: Mandatory salon gromming days for all former strays who are pretty and proud, complete with blow-dry, nail clipping, anal gland squeezing and a complimentary bow for gorgeous collars.

5: Total ass-whipping for all male dogs who dare sniff butt or hump without a formal invitation to do so.

tommy21

Lucy has demanded a national debate on the key issues - unless of course her "competitors" are too Green to partake?

Cherry Blossom

tommy21 wrote: »

Lucy has demanded a national debate on the key issues - unless of course her "competitors" are too Green to partake?

And what does Lucy think the key issues are? :rolleyes:

Shazanne

Millie, who is currently very busy canvassing, would welcome the opportunity to engage in a debate on any issue - she has loud opinions on everything!
She is also wondering what the voting format for election day will be?

forbairt

No doubt everyone has been following the political career of Squishy The Cat for a long time now so you'll already be aware of most of this.

Months ago the main opposition to Fianna Fail sprang into being during the time of the IMF bailout.





Of course shortly afterwards Squishys political opponents implemented a r vicious slur campaign in the Meows of the world



But far be it from Squishy to let that trouble him he learnt from the past and rebranded ... and from the guts of Fianna Fishies was reborn ... The Purrgressive Democats ...



And even though he wasn't in attendance at Vincent Browns first public debate ... the results spoke for themselves ...

forbairt

Squishy it must be said has not yet published his Catifesto ( he doesn't believe in Manifestos where he's concerned)

He does however have a few key points to make:

What do we really want?


Change?


He will of course be publishing his Catifesto shortly ...

Cherry Blossom

Daisy has had it to her withers with these candidates re-branding and re-rebranding thinking they can re-start with a clean bowl :mad:. How arrogant to assume that the voting public are that stupid :rolleyes:

tommy21

Last night's debate at Curaheen Greyhound Stadium,Cork, trap 5, was a barking success, with several independent canines joining Lucy's ranks. It was a shame that Lily, Millie, Daisy, Pip and others neglected to turn out or even respond to my calls to appear.

Meanwhile, the reception on the doorstep has been overwhelming, with virtually all of those I talked to giving me their first preference. The remainder were rather muted about the possibility for change to occur through any candidate (feline in particular), but in fairness these were in areas that have gone to the dogs so it can't be helped. Hopefully come Friday fate will lead them to the right choice - Lucy.

A small number of my posters have been defaced with slogans such as "Catist" and "Shove your whiskers up your ****" - CCTV reveals nothing, but catnip found at the scene is currently undergoing forensic analysis at Pedigree Labs.

EGAR

The Bogster has decided to wait for his father to kick the bucket and then he will inherit the seat anyway...

forbairt

Shazanne

tommy21 wrote: »

Last night's debate at Curaheen Greyhound Stadium,Cork, trap 5, was a barking success, with several independent canines joining Lucy's ranks. It was a shame that Lily, Millie, Daisy, Pip and others neglected to turn out or even respond to my calls to appear.

Meanwhile, the reception on the doorstep has been overwhelming, with virtually all of those I talked to giving me their first preference. The remainder were rather muted about the possibility for change to occur through any candidate (feline in particular), but in fairness these were in areas that have gone to the dogs so it can't be helped. Hopefully come Friday fate will lead them to the right choice - Lucy.

A small number of my posters have been defaced with slogans such as "Catist" and "Shove your whiskers up your ****" - CCTV reveals nothing, but catnip found at the scene is currently undergoing forensic analysis at Pedigree Labs.

Millie wishes to lodge a formal complaint!! She was not made aware of any debate and, in spite of being prepared to present her issues to all living and fur covered species, she was not given the opportunity to do so!
She feels that smear tactics and "parish hump politics" are a-paw!

In a statement issued today, Millie states that "As my campaign draws to a close I wish to thank all those who have been persuaded and bribed into voting for me. I have met every dog on the street in the course of my campaign and I know that they trust me to bark for them for the next four years. My owner can vouch for my ability to do this. Now all you have to do is trot down to the polling kennel tomorrow and vote Millie No. 1 - kibbles will be available for all at the exit.
Remember - Millie - the Canine with Purpose! Your Bark - Your Future!

tommy21

Shazanne wrote: »

Millie wishes to lodge a formal complaint!! She was not made aware of any debate and, in spite of being prepared to present her issues to all living and fur covered species, she was not given the opportunity to do so!
She feels that smear tactics and "parish hump politics" are a-paw!

In a statement issued today, Millie states that "As my campaign draws to a close I wish to thank all those who have been persuaded and bribed into voting for me. I have met every dog on the street in the course of my campaign and I know that they trust me to bark for them for the next four years. My owner can vouch for my ability to do this. Now all you have to do is trot down to the polling kennel tomorrow and vote Millie No. 1 - kibbles will be available for all at the exit.
Remember - Millie - the Canine with Purpose! Your Bark - Your Future!

I am afraid it is I who will be lodging a complaint. A moratorium has been in effect since 1pm today on national media outlets, which you have now broken, along with stating that you have bribed voters in the past, and plan to do so again on election day via kibbles! Outrageous - I shall aim to have Millie disqualified.

Cherry Blossom

Shazanne wrote: »

Millie wishes to lodge a formal complaint!! She was not made aware of any debate and, in spite of being prepared to present her issues to all living and fur covered species, she was not given the opportunity to do so!
She feels that smear tactics and "parish hump politics" are a-paw!

Daisy will also be lodging a formal complaint! :mad:

tommy21 wrote: »

A moratorium has been in effect since 1pm today on national media outlets, which you have now broken, along with stating that you have bribed voters in the past, and plan to do so again on election day via kibbles! Outrageous - I shall aim to have Millie disqualified.

You have clearly been bribing more than just voters Millie Lucy. Arranging of debates and not notifing any of the opposition is scandalous, and to organise it in a place where no self-respecting animal would go of their own free will :eek:! Outrageous is too mild a word for you!!

<ETA>Oh dear! A full retraction shall be published in the national papers

Shazanne

If Millie is disqualified the dogs of the country will rise up in revolt!! Millie has completely obeyed every rule in this Election and has knocked on every kennel door from Malin to Mizen over the past three weeks.
(However, her Director of Election and Press Officer, Max, may have taken a wee nap today and not been watching the clock:D)

Whispered

Somebody needs to ad a poll!!!

Shazanne

Whispered wrote: »

Somebody needs to ad a poll!!!

I would if I knew how!!??:o

Poor Millie is devastated tonight - completely inconsolable:( She has trotted the highways and byways with her message only to be threatened with disqualification:eek: And all because she let sleeping dogs lie!
(PS : Max feels pretty crappy too!)

EGAR

Bogey wants to know who won. He was busy with golden pawshakes and missed it.

Cherry Blossom

I think the OP has to add a poll to the thread, either that or start a new thread for it?

Shazanne

Obviously RTE just got it worng then! There are FIVE counts still ongoing - including this all important one!
We need a poll (and I don't have the foggiest how to set one up:o)

Whispered

OP has to add it. Where has that op gone. Lost my vote anyway.

tommy21

My apologies (and consolation on your election loss). I was away in Europe with Lucy, supporting her successful attempt to renogotiate the IMF deal. To hope you sleep better in your respective kennels and baskets, I have added a poll, but the result is already official:


LUCY IS NO. 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom

:eek: :mad:

OP banned from next years SS

tommy21

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

:eek: :mad:

OP banned from next years SS

I have no wish to be a part of your right wing politics, the Schutzstaffel would be a nightmare.