When will the pain of loosing her stop.

Utdtillidie

So im 18 anyway.This is the story of me and my ex girlfriend of 5 months I done my leaving certificate last year. I was friends with this amazing girl for a good while. She had a boyfriend for 16 months and i talked to him too. We were good friends and me and her used had great talks and it was so fun and i never saw her as anything but a friend. Then during the summer i came home 1 day and she said she wanted to talk to me and i went online and she told me that her boyfriend cheated on her with her cousin 6 times and stuff. And it was hell for her and she was suicidal and everything and i was there for her all the time when all her friends turned their backs on her.

Eventually she did dump him and i was just being a good friend. We met up a few times as friends and went to the movies and that. She was so fun and we shared laughs. Then eventually one night she said she thought she was over the ex and said she really liked me. I was baffled and said i liked her too cause i always had a soft spot for her. I never made the 1st move or anything cause i didn't want to seem like a bad guy and i never was going to. She eventually kissed me and in time i asked her out. And i loved getting up to see her and spend time with her cause it was so fun and she was different from any other girl i came across. She made me feel so loved and wanted.

We eventually decided to take the year off together as we both didn't get what we wanted for college and we would apply together next year. Of course we had our obstacles cause she was afraid of being hurt again and i assured her i never would do that. I eventually fell in love with her and she said she felt the same. She was the 1st girl i ever loved. But she had a bad home life compared to me. She wasn't close with either of her parents and i saw that she had no real support from anywhere but me. I was with her through everything. She wanted me to do everything with her at the start and that was great. She used always say that she missed me when i said goodbye to her when she went home and everything. Eventually for the last 2 months of our relationship she started changing. She started being very cold to me and everything and made me feel terrible and i felt so unloved and unwanted. It had me in tears most days and i had a part time job and even in work all was on my mind was her and she really was tearing me up inside. I said it to her before and she just said she was depressed over being stuck in home all the time and not being in college and she never saw her friends cause they were in college but that she loved me and was sorry for treating me the way she was.

But it didnt get any better at all it kept getting worse. Whenever she used talk to me it used to be very dragged out like she would prefer not to be texting me. And before it was so great she made me so happy like. I was crazy about her too and loved her and cared about her so much. But she started changing and just going out drinking all the time. And it was hard for me to see cause she'd tell me guys be hitting on her on nights out. And i couldn't go with her cause she lived a train ride away. That was very hard when she went out but i trusted her. And all through to Christmas she had me through hell over how she was treating me. I said it to her Christmas eve and she said sorry again shes afraid of been hurt and that. And it was great Christmas Day between us but changed again as she went out St Stephens Day and the day after that. I thought it be fine when i saw her and i went down to stay in her house for 2 days. I gave her her presents but she got me nothing. She would barely hug me or kiss me when i was there and i felt horrible. We went to meet her friend and she wouldnt even hold my hand.

After i went home the next day i said we needed to talk. I said that why was she treating me like that ? and she said shes after changing and that she isn't the same person anymore and that she rushed into this relationship too fast and didn't deal with the stuff with her ex. She said she needed to be single for a while but wanted to be friends but after a week or two i couldn't do it anymore and ignored her and sent her a text saying bye and she caused me too much pain. But im miserable at the moment and feel i'll never find someone like the way she was at the start. It kills me seeing what she has become.I'd give anything to be with the person she was at the start I just feel i wont find anyone else now. I feel she meant everything to me and i meant nothing to her I'm so empty and hurt. Can anyone help ?

MiniSquish

You just have to give yourself time to get over her. If things are meant to be she'll realise she made a mistake. It's up to her to make the move though, I'm presuming she's your first girlfriend. I went through a similar situation to you too when I was around your age and I thought I'd never find someone else. Now 4 years later I have a new boyfriend who treats me much better so don't worry, it hurts now but it wont forever.

Utdtillidie

I really don't know im stuck in a rut now. She really was perfect for me at the start. Its hard to think will the pain ever go away cause i done everything right like and got treated horribly.

Utdtillidie

Thanks it gives me hope but Im just really scared. She made me feel like i wasn't good enough for anyone.

Utdtillidie

Thanks i'll try to keep my head up and i know i deserve better.

Utdtillidie

Ah its been a month and a half nearly since we broke up now but the pain still takes over me sometimes just need more time i guess

Utdtillidie

Ya i am much better than i was too. I have accepted that the girl i loved is truly gone cause shes so different. But your right thanks Hope you are ok too though.