Was i crazy?

max2011

Long story short I was seeing a girl 13 years older than me (in my v early 20's) we were absolutely in love but it wasn't accepted by the families but we were v happy. She had a problem with the age to but mostly because her friends said its silly and not a future. I found out she had started to date someone else why were winding down but it was still stronger than ever if that makes sense. Felt like the biggest fool and I ran a mile but am feeling bad as I knew for a fact she was crazy about me too, her excuse was she needed to keep her options open and didn't apologies. Should i feel bad or am I right for getting away and move on with my life as it was an impossible relationship? So much went on to but we were unbelievably happy together and it was true love.

petebricquette

max2011 wrote: »

Long story short I was seeing a girl 13 years older than me (in my v early 20's) we were absolutely in love but it wasn't accepted by the families but we were v happy. She had a problem with the age to but mostly because her friends said its silly and not a future. I found out she had started to date someone else why were winding down but it was still stronger than ever if that makes sense. Felt like the biggest fool and I ran a mile but am feeling bad as I knew for a fact she was crazy about me too, her excuse was she needed to keep her options open and didn't apologies. Should i feel bad or am I right for getting away and move on with my life as it was an impossible relationship? So much went on to but we were unbelievably happy together and it was true love.

Your ex was bang out of order going behind your back in such a way. It's always very tough when one or another of your OH's friends or family members has a problem with you but they don't sound like great friends to me if they were telling her to end something that was clearly making her perfectly happy.

With relationships (at a certain point) age hardly comes into it! You were completely right for getting away when you did and hopefully now you'll find someone with whom everything is nice and easy!

astra2000

Your post is a bit vague but what I am getting from what you have said is that this girl wasnt as secure in the relationship as you were. I presume this was to do with the fact that she is older than you, is probably looking to settle down in the next few years and she doubted your commitment to this due to negative comments from others. In short I think you are right to move on it takes two people working at it all the time to make a relationship work, if one of those people has doubts that cant be banished it doesnt bear well for the future.

LegacyUser

Okay, "She had a problem with the age", "She had started to date someone else", "Her friends said it's silly", "She said she needed to keep her options open" - I'm sorry, but she doesn't sound like someone who was "unbelievably happy" with you. I'm not saying that to be mean or rude, I'm saying that possibly, you were unbelievably happy and in love with her, and she just didn't see the relationship going anywhere. Maybe the age barrier was more of a problem to her than she let on. I'd love to know if ye were together long? If it was a couple of months, then it sounds like she was never considering a long-term thing with you. It's horrible, it's painful, it's absolutely heartbreaking, but I hope you can manage to get over this woman and know that there are lots of other women who would be delighted to have a relationship with someone who wants a loving, happy relationship.

Wagon

You're spot on to run a mile.

See, what she should have done is not lead you on. But she didnt, and she used you. If you are as really into her as you say, those feelings don't come from nowhere. She obviously reciprocted them to an extent. So despite the age gap, to just start seeing someone else before you had even broken up properly is a pretty **** thing to do.

Trust me, you dodged a bullet mate.