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Third Child - Sex Life still on hold

  • 10-02-2011 10:23AM
    #1
    gent9662
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭


    Wife had third child by c-section about 3 months ago. Just wondering how long it takes before sex life returns!

    Any ideas?


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,421 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    How long is a piece of string? It depends on so many factors unique to you both, your life and relationship, that noone here can say. I presume youre up for it and your wife isnt?

    It will depend on how many after effects of surgery she has. If all is ok physically, then other factors come into play: How tired she is. How much interference your kids cause. How important sex was to you both beforehand. Whether she can switch her mind from mother to sex partner with all thats going on in both your lives. Sex is also something that, (speaking personally) needs a solid relationship and communication to thrive. If petty resentments or difficulties are there, sex suffers.

    The only people who can answer your question is both of you, another couple will have a completely different experience. Talk to your wife about this (without pressure to perform!) and see how she feels.


  • #3
    Goldenegg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 352 ✭✭Goldenegg


    When your wife is ready and comfortable, my guess is thats when it will return. They do recommend not to have sex until at least 6 weeks after a c section as her body has to slowly return to normal, post baby.

    Not getting into too much gorey details but here are a few points why couples have to wait....
    • Her uterus needs to stop bleeding and deflate back to a normal size.
    • She has to make sure that the wound on her tummy is healed enough that it wont split while having sex, which im sure will be very sore and obviously completely ruin the moment!
    • Her hormones need to get back to normal...
    Hopefully this has or will happen soon and you can get back on the wagon! ;)


  • #4
    Goldenegg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 352 ✭✭Goldenegg


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    Oooh, that's a tad harsh :p;)

    oops! I didnt mean it to sound bad! I meant, hopefully he can get back to having sex soon... :)


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    dclane wrote: »
    Wife had third child by c-section about 3 months ago. Just wondering how long it takes before sex life returns!

    Any ideas?

    My wife lost a child so she wanted to have another straight away. Sex was great for a week. Then she got pregnant and it ended bar once or twice. She gave birth to our child by section as well and there was the waiting time.

    Now 14 months later still nothing. tbh i love my wife dearly and would never leave her but I dont know when sex will ever return.

    Women on this pages with due respect will tell you think of your wife etc. I understand your not being selfish because either am i but i understand you miss that.

    I do all the right things. I make dinner i buy underware regu text her i love her. Although we say its not for sex there is a part of it that is.

    To you op i dont know what you are going to do because like me you dont want a councillor you just want your wife back.

    Just give it time.... And dont imo encourage her to go back on the pill. The combination of lack and new hormones just drives her further and further away from it.


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