From Hot to Cold

LegacyUser

I'm in a really confusing situation and would appreciate any advice you guys could give me. Here goes...

I was out the other week when I was introduced to a girl through a friend of mine. I was really into her, but I kept it cool and we chatted away casually for an hour or two. We clicked well, and had a lot in common. Eventually her friend pulled me aside and told me she really liked me and to go for it - so I made my move and we kissed.

After the place closed, a few of us went back to a mate's house for drinks. Things were going really well, and we were getting quite intimate. Eventually people went to bed and we were left alone in the living room. However, one of my mates had fallen asleep beside us, and I just couldn't see a way of escalating things without it being weird and awkward. We just kept kissing and eventually went asleep on a couch. The next morning we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

A few days later, I texted her and we chatted for a while. However, when I suggested going on a date that weekend she made excuses - but said she would like to see me another time. So I left it for another week, before texting again to ask how her weekend was. After a few hours she replied, and seemed friendly enough. Not being much of a texter I decided to call instead. Her phone rang out without an answer, so I sent a reply to her previous text. Asked a perfectly normal question at the end, but got no response. That was two days ago... I was tempted to try calling again, but decided against it in case it made me look desperate or needy.

I know girls like to play "hard to get" sometimes, but I don't really know what to make of this one. It frustrates me cos I really like her and don’t want to give up that easily. Advice anyone?

IrishEyes19

Dont contact her again, OP, if she's interested she will get in touch. I know theres the whole thing about a guy chasing and such, but she just seems plain rude at this stage. I wouldnt send her another word now. Let her follow up, but from this point, go out with the idea that she isnt in your life anymore. Dont wait around waiting for her to call, because if she is playing you, well then she certainly isnt waiting around!!!

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

That's always a tough one...everything was going great and then suddenly you're left out in the cold with no answers. Well in my experience that usually means there is someone else in her life who is higher up her priority list than you I'm afraid.

If it were simply a case of her being not that bothered then I doubt she would have replied to your texts after the first night. The fact that she was kind of cagey about going on a date yet leaving her options open in the future by saying she would like to see you another time would confirm to me that she is holding out for another guy to see how things pan out there first.

I would follow Irish Eyes advice and not bother contacting her again. Chances are even if things don't work out with the other guy she will more than likely still be pining after him for a few months so I don't think it would be worth your while frankly. It would become a situation of her getting an ego boost from you showing her an interest that she isn't ready or willing to reciprocate and your self-esteem would take a hit from her lack of interest.

Put it behind you mentally for now as hard as that may be and perhaps if in six months time you still feel the same than give her a call but I doubt that you will by then.

Timing plays a big part in meeting people and this is a case of bad-timing in my humble opinion.

LegacyUser

Hey guys, OP here. Thanks for the replies, makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. It should come as no surprise that it's four days now and still no reply from her. Game over as far as I see it. The "other guy" theory seems to fit, as I honestly can't see where I went wrong on this one. She knows where I stand, and if she felt the same way I'm sure it would have been reciprocated. Still no excuse for blatant rudeness and ignorance though. It's her loss...