How much is too much for hotel charges for your guests?

shmea6

Hi all,

Hoping you can help me out here.

We have found the perfect venue, for us, however i think they are charging a lot for room rates for the guest.
The venue is a private residence, so in theory we would want our guests to stay with us and not a cheaper hotel elsewhere.

Is €65 per person sharing (€130 per room) B&B too much to ask?

We were origionally thinking that we would like people to stay for two night but at this price i an worried its too much to pay......please help!!!

32finn

65 euro is fairly good compared to the going rate to be honest. Any wedding i have been to in recent times it has been 150 euro per room b&b.

shmea6

Thanks for the feedback....i was really worried it and still a bit unsure.
For two nights, for a couple it would be €260 which just seems a lot.

The venue need me to fill 30 rooms on the night of the wedding and worried i could end up with a big bill after by big day if we dont fill them due to the price.

EricPraline

shmea6 wrote: »

The venue need me to fill 30 rooms on the night of the wedding and worried i could end up with a big bill after by big day if we dont fill them due to the price.

Be careful relying on the idea that you fill that many rooms. Obviously it depends on the size of the wedding. But if there are cheaper options nearby, you may find that extended family or work colleagues may take those options instead.

On a side note quoting PPS rather than rooms rates is thankfully becoming less common in Ireland these days. I'd always work off the room rate, rather than assume everybody will share. Don't forget if you're inviting any single people, then they may be looking at €130 each.

OS119

Hi OP, like others, i'd think you'd want to be very careful about hitching yourself to this ride.

put yourself in your guests shoes: €135, plus gift, plus tarting yourself up, plus getting there, plus €60 minimum on drinks (if they are being very careful). now your close family might swallow this - but someone from work, or a friend from university you've not seen in 18 months?

if its near a large town or city near many of your guests they will make other arragements - and if its a long way away or out in the middle of nowhere people will baulk at the cost of getting there.

conservatively i've listed costs of between €350 and €450 for a couple (or worse, a single person). its your big day, but it isn't theirs - few people are going to jump for joy when they realise what this is going to cost them.

your possible solution is to to play hardball with the venue: tell them that its a private house, not a hotel - they aren't going to be turning away Hans and Angela Deitrich from Hamburg because of your wedding - they will be making a fortune from the 100+ guests spending 8 hours getting drunk on massively inflated beer and spirits, and they are making a fortune from you. either they drop the per room price to something attractive like €50 (€50 for a weekend away at a posh house - your guests will a) come, and b) are likely to be rather more generous than they might otherwise be), or you go elsewhere.

remember, because its not a hotel but a private house its costing them roughly the same - apart from a few extra sausages - to stage a wedding with 20 staying guests as it costs them to stage one with 60 staying guests, there is therefore no reason for you (and your guests) to pay them way over the odds for costs that largely don't exist.

phantom60

OS119 - will you my do haggling for me ?!!

goat2

shmea6 wrote: »

Hi all,

Hoping you can help me out here.

We have found the perfect venue, for us, however i think they are charging a lot for room rates for the guest.
The venue is a private residence, so in theory we would want our guests to stay with us and not a cheaper hotel elsewhere.

Is €65 per person sharing (€130 per room) B&B too much to ask?

We were origionally thinking that we would like people to stay for two night but at this price i an worried its too much to pay......please help!!!

that is too much, i do think since you are already paying for your wedding there, they make alot for that alone, but under 50 euro per person would be just about ok, you should go and get them to drop[ the price, another thing is, if it is an off season wedding, then it should be cheaper, weddings are very expensive on guests also, you have to gift the couple along with a full pocket of cash, and if they have to stay somewhere that makes it harder especially right now with less in everyones pockets, look out for a hotel nearby or guesthouses, people can get taxis to these places at end of evening, sharing taxis, you should look at this option also

quartzstone

This sounds suspiciously like my wedding venue from 2009.
Started at €160, then got the room rate down to €140 but still had a number of empty rooms out of the 30-ish we had to fill.
I remember going to a friend's wedding in Lough Rynn in 2008....€300 a night!!!!

omahaid

For our wedding we included a list of local B&B's in the invite if people wished to spend a bit less, going to weddings is pricey

OS119

omahaid wrote: »

For our wedding we included a list of local B&B's in the invite if people wished to spend a bit less, going to weddings is pricey

that helps the OP's guests, but not her - if her guests, unsurprisingly, decide to forgo the pleasure of being fleeced, then the venue will fleece her instead.

i am very grateful that i have reached a stage in life where it is the done thing for me to attend weddings, but not to stay too long. as you indicate, a wedding invite sounds like an enormous gas bill when it hits the doormat - were i to do the 'complete wedding' of all the weddings i attend i imagine that i'd be a very poor man indeed.

a couple getting married are of course intitled to have their dream wedding day, but they should be self-aware enough to understand that while its a special day for them and their family for which sacrifices may be in order, thats not the situation for the vast majority of their guests....

magneticimpulse

The wedding guests should pay NOTHING. When I say that, nobody these days should be having weddings in the middle of no where, in which the only option is to stay in a ridculous expensive hotel/B&B.

I think Weddings should go back to 1990s expectations, where not many people knew how to drive and there was always a Wedding bus to get people from the church to the dinner and home again. People must have an option to go home afterwards. Most weddings I have attended lately in past 6 months have started back ordering a Wedding Bus.

The hotel where the wedding was at was €100 a night for the double room...but nobody could afford that last year!!!
Alot of people were single and €100 for 1 person is mad money. The rest of us were unemployed. We drove home...so it was a very sober night and alot of other people did as well. The rest of the family...aunties and uncles got the Wedding bus home.

Wedding Buses are the way to go these days. Nobody can afford new wedding clothes, hair, make up, drinks on night, gift and to stay in hotel as well!! Not to mention petrol money to and from the wedding if its in the middle of no where. And for people who are working, a day loss of earnings if the wedding is on a weekday.

32finn

magneticimpulse wrote: »

The wedding guests should pay NOTHING. When I say that, nobody these days should be having weddings in the middle of no where, in which the only option is to stay in a ridculous expensive hotel/B&B.

I think Weddings should go back to 1990s expectations, where not many people knew how to drive and there was always a Wedding bus to get people from the church to the dinner and home again. People must have an option to go home afterwards. Most weddings I have attended lately in past 6 months have started back ordering a Wedding Bus.

The hotel where the wedding was at was €100 a night for the double room...but nobody could afford that last year!!!
Alot of people were single and €100 for 1 person is mad money. The rest of us were unemployed. We drove home...so it was a very sober night and alot of other people did as well. The rest of the family...aunties and uncles got the Wedding bus home.

Wedding Buses are the way to go these days. Nobody can afford new wedding clothes, hair, make up, drinks on night, gift and to stay in hotel as well!! Not to mention petrol money to and from the wedding if its in the middle of no where. And for people who are working, a day loss of earnings if the wedding is on a weekday.

Although i agree with you somewhat about the bus, as ive come across it a few times and it went down a bomb, they dont come all that cheap either, who exactely are you to tell someone where they should and shouldn't have there wedding? People recieve there invites well in advance of a wedding and from there they make the choice to accept it or not, therefore making the choice to stay at the venue or organise a way home.

kandr10

OP, even if you couldn't get the rate (by much), you could try to negotiate on the 30 room policy. Maybe try to get them to agree to you filling say 20, which would be more achievable if you were worried about being landed with extra costs. For one night, I'd pay the rate you were given but I wouldn't be staying for 2. Don't think I'd be bothered doing that at any wedding.
I do agree however that people shouldn't be obliged to stay over if they don't want to. Whether that means them driving home themselves or you organising transport. Although the wedding bus idea doesn't help you if you're obliged to fill rooms!

magneticimpulse

32finn wrote: »

Although i agree with you somewhat about the bus, as ive come across it a few times and it went down a bomb, they dont come all that cheap either, who exactely are you to tell someone where they should and shouldn't have there wedding? People recieve there invites well in advance of a wedding and from there they make the choice to accept it or not, therefore making the choice to stay at the venue or organise a way home.

We got the woman that does the Morning school run to do the Wedding Bus service and she stayed around for drinks during the wedding and brought everyone home at 1 or 2 am. So lets say the OP expects say 120 people to stay overnight at that rate...that would mean the guests pay around €8100 to stay overnight. I hardly expect a Wedding bus to be that expensive??? I think the one our family had was about €600, which I think is very good for hanging around a full day. Thats a saving of €7500 thereabouts for the guests.

When you say people get the invites? Well it was a case, nobody was actually going to go to the wedding...none of the aunties, uncles, cousins were going to go. The grooms parents felt really bad, that they decided to organise a Wedding Bus. But I think the couple should think about a Wedding Bus too. Why would anybody not want to have options for their guests. I think at least getting a rough number before the Wedding Bus booking is good!

People didnt have a choice...only 20 rooms were allocated on "offer" to the wedding party and they were taken up by brothers and sisters of the bride/groom.

You have to remember there is usually another 130 people attending the average wedding...so 20 room offer is not good.

Im not really too fussed. I know that once there has been a recent Wedding Bus at a wedding....I will be asking if its available for other Weddings too. If not, I will be driving home...and if the wedding is +1 hours drive from my home...I wont be going. Simple as.

OS119

32finn wrote: »

...People recieve there invites well in advance of a wedding and from there they make the choice to accept it or not, therefore making the choice to stay at the venue or organise a way home.

although i accept your premise absolutely - we're all adults and can make our own decisions on what we spend our money on - there is often a significant relationships price to be paid by a guest who decides 'look, i'm sorry, i just can't afford to attend your out-in-middle-of-nowhere, €200pppn fairytale castle wedding'. there is real pressure on guests to attend 'family' weddings (even if the 'family' is DNA relation only and you've met them twice in 30 years), and many guests are 'forced' to spend money they don't want to spend because of the pressure to conform.

if you think of a wedding as four concentric circles - the bride and groom in the middle, the very close family and friends, the 'looser' circle of family and friends, and then the 'randomers' on the outside. the bride and groom make the decisions - so they get what they want - the very close family and friends love the B&G very much so they will do almost anything to be there and will be happy to do so (perhaps with the odd exception..), but the looser circle, the older friends, cousins etc.. are, imv, the people who get stuck with the pressure to attend (ever get the feeling that old friends and distant relatives you've not seen for 3 years come crawling out of the woodwork when they are getting married?) without the 'specialness' of the day that the very close family and friends get because of the nature of their retaitionship with the B&G. the 'randomers' are ok because, being 'randomers' nobody will really care if they either disappear after the service or don't come at all.

if no one got the hump if you decided not to go to their wedding then you'd be absolutely correct, but for many people not going to a ridiculously expensive wedding can cause them enormous problems - they are, in effect, blackmailed into it.

kc66

The place we have booked is €65pp sharing.

sallysaucer101

I don't understand how the Hotel is making you fill 30 rooms?? And even if you dont fill them you have to pay for them!!

That is ridiclous and I dont understand how the hotel are getting away with it.

If you are paying a certain rate to book out the hotel for the night you shoudl not be expected to apy for all accomodation too!!

Tell the Hotel you want a discounted rate or if your comfortable with it let them sell the extra rooms to other people not attending the wedding!!

OS119

sallysaucer101 wrote: »

I don't understand how the Hotel is making you fill 30 rooms?? And even if you dont fill them you have to pay for them!!

That is ridiclous and I dont understand how the hotel are getting away with it.

If you are paying a certain rate to book out the hotel for the night you shoudl not be expected to apy for all accomodation too!!

Tell the Hotel you want a discounted rate or if your comfortable with it let them sell the extra rooms to other people not attending the wedding!!

its not a hotel - its a private house with function rooms and accomodation - unfortunately its a 'you hire the lot' situation. they don't care if two people stay or 60, the bill is the same.

of course, for the house, the rewards are not the same - if 2 people hire the house at £10,000 for the weekend, they make the £10,000, and the profit on whatever 2 people spend on food and drink. if 60 people stay, they make the £10,000 and the profit on whatever 60 people spend at the bar in 8 hours.

which,in my experience, is some where between 'quite a lot' and 'a shitload'.

Spanish Eyes

OP, you have found the perfect venue for your wedding, well done, and congratulations, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

On the topic of guests staying over... it is a bit problematic these days for those who are not in the inner circle (Family, very close friends).

Very many people have lost their jobs, have huge mortgages, and cannot afford a meal out, not to mind a wedding.

So, your venue should acknowledge that fact. Things are not the same anymore for anyone really. You need to get down and dirty and re negotiate the deal. 40 pp per night is a good starting point.

Two nights for most people, no matter what the rate is a non starter these days I'm afraid.

Have you signed a contract with the venue for a minimum number of rooms at a certain rate?

I am sorry to say that I do not go to weddings of non immediate family anymore. Unless they are within taxi distance from home. I cannot afford it. There I said it, and the only wedding I have been to in the last two years was my loving brother's, which I would not have missed.

Friends, cousins, workmates, NO. And they never miss the fact that you are not there. A polite and understanding note of regret is all that is necessary. I will not be pressurised into doing something I really cannot afford anymore, just can't do it, sorry.

I am not mean at all. But I have to prioritise my spending in relation to my outgoings these days. I'd say if everyone was honest, they would say the same thing.

magneticimpulse

kc66 wrote: »

The place we have booked is €65pp sharing.

I think 130 euro a night for a "B&B" which might be nowhere is mad money these days. Im single and i end up paying 130 just for one person!!! Even for a couple thats crazy money for one night!!! :eek:

You can stay in Dublin hotels now for 35 euro a night for a double room in Dublin City Centre Hotel. Thats 17.50 euro per person. If you dont believe me, enter Dublin into booking.com....Whereas the Fitzwilliam hotel for example...a 5 star hotel is €165 a night on booking.com . The Westbury is €161 euro a night for double room. Fair enough its a huge difference between the prices of a 5 star hotel and other hotels in Dublin. But these are the 2 top hotels in all of Ireland!!! (i say that since they are in the city centre as oppose to out in ballsbridge/powerscourt etc).

Where are people thinking 130 euro a night for a room outside of Dublin is a bargain is beyond me??? Especially for a B&B!!!!

Unless it is on St Stephens Green/Grafton St. and a 5 star hotel...I think thats so overpriced.

Undercover_

OP, our hotel is the same price, its a 3 star hotel, although it is lovely, I think the room price is a total rip off.

We decided however to go ahead with it, but only on the basis that there were dozens of other hotels nearby, as well as B+Bs and great self catering options.

We also made sure to list all of these in the invitations.

I wish the hotel was a bit cheaper, but we felt, once there was options, we should go with the place we loved.

I would say choose your location based on what you love, look for alternatives for your guests, but definately negotiate down that 30 room thing- that could really sting you

iguana

1. Definitely negotiate down the room rate and/or how many rooms you must fill.

2. If you can't do that, or even if you can, as you have to cover the costs one way or the other, you could always decide to pay a portion of the room-rate yourselves and lower the fee to your guests. Ie, put €3000 of your own money toward it and tell the guests it's €80 per night for a double room. You'd probably get more takers that way which would probably save you more in the long run.

But definitely negotiate with the property owners/agent first and negotiate hard.

kc66

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I think 130 euro a night for a "B&B" which might be nowhere is mad money these days. Im single and i end up paying 130 just for one person!!! Even for a couple thats crazy money for one night!!! :eek:

You can stay in Dublin hotels now for 35 euro a night for a double room in Dublin City Centre Hotel. Thats 17.50 euro per person. If you dont believe me, enter Dublin into booking.com....Whereas the Fitzwilliam hotel for example...a 5 star hotel is €165 a night on booking.com . The Westbury is €161 euro a night for double room. Fair enough its a huge difference between the prices of a 5 star hotel and other hotels in Dublin. But these are the 2 top hotels in all of Ireland!!! (i say that since they are in the city centre as oppose to out in ballsbridge/powerscourt etc).

Where are people thinking 130 euro a night for a room outside of Dublin is a bargain is beyond me??? Especially for a B&B!!!!

Unless it is on St Stephens Green/Grafton St. and a 5 star hotel...I think thats so overpriced.

Its a 4 star hotel, and that rate is cheaper than the usual rate at the hotel. I didn't say its a bargain. This isn't bargain alerts. Its a beautiful hotel and its not a bad price. Of course I would prefer if it was a bit cheaper but they wont go less than that price.