Why does she go like that?

LegacyUser

Okay, so I'm with my partner for over 8 years now. I do love her very much, however when we go out sometimes she can get crazy jealous for no reason at all!! She can also get mad just out of the blue, the other night we were out with her sisters and their boyfriends and I seen her cut me a look for no reason at all, I was talking to one of the lads just laughing and joking as you do on a night out.! Later when we got home she went nuts just coming out with the craziest of stuff like you don't love me and you're better off on your own.. She then just started crying for no reason, needless to say I slept on the sofa. A few weeks ago the same thing but this time it was outside a put and she hit me full whack on the face, a friend of hers see this and gave out to her, I just walked away and asked her the next day what the hell she was at, we are in no way physical with each other normally and I would never go there..!

I know some people are just going to say it's that drink and that's that.. But normal people can go out with friends and have a few drinks and enjoy themselves, I have asked her to slow down when she is sober but when she is out in the heat of the moment she gets carried away and rushes drink into her.. We don't go out that much so we at this ever weekend but I tried to put up with this and it really is effecting our relationship now.

I would really appreciate peoples option on this..

Is there any chance it's PMS? I tend to get it really bad and get angry for no reason at everyone! Just see if it tends to happen every month or so. If that is the case Evening Primrose Oil or Starflower Oil are natural remedies.
(Do not EVER ask if she's having her period when she's in a bad mood though.)

Little Acorn

Whatever the fcuk is going on in her head, she had no right to thump you in the face. That is a dumpable offense for most people.
Let her know in no uncertain terms that can never happen again.
I'm not sure what other advice I can offer apart from having a serious conversation with her, to try to get to the bottom of this strange behavior, and try to get to the root of what's causing it. Then it will be up to you to decide if it's fixable or not.

Neyite

Does it always kick off when there is drink involved, OP or does she get irrational when she is sober as well?

petebricquette

Little Acorn wrote: »

Whatever the fcuk is going on in her head, she had no right to thump you in the face. That is a dumpable offense for most people.

Completely with you on that. My girlfriend hit me a good smack once and I bollixed her out of it. She was upset and apologised but it was a close run thing.

OP, a mate of mine has a girlfriend exactly like that. She gets ideas into her head if he's talking to girls (friends like) and gets jealous if we're just chillin' in my house for an evening.

He's spoken to her about it a few times and it gets better for about a month every time but eventually reverts. Just chat to her. Maybe avoid immediately mentioning the drink issue as some people can fly off the handle at even the suggestion that they have issues when they drink.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the fed back folks, to be honest it is mostly with drink, we are not big drinkers so I wouldnt say she has a problem or anything, maybe a problem controlling the rate she drinks.. I honestly don't know if it is pms all the time, this time could have something to do with that..!

A big issue I have is that we can't even go out with close friends or family in the fear that she will loose it with one of them.. She has before with my friend wife..! Just got into a shouting match out of nowhere..

metrovelvet

If I acted like that when I drank, I would not drink.

She may have an allergy or something to alcohol.

CK2010

any chance shes insecure to begin with and drinks to try to overcome this but once she gets drunk she ends up being one of those sad moody drunks that lets all their feelings loose?!

sam34

1196 wrote: »

A few weeks ago the same thing but this time it was outside a put and she hit me full whack on the face, a friend of hers see this and gave out to her, I just walked away and asked her the next day what the hell she was at, we are in no way physical with each other normally and I would never go there..

OP, irrespective of how long ye are together, how much you love her and how drunk she may have been at the time, I would walk away forever from someone who hit me.

it is simply unacceptable.

AnneElizabeth

<snip> Might be worth looking into.
Or else she could be unhappy with the relationship or with another aspect of her life and projects her anger onto other things.

Ickle Magoo

AnneElizabeth, throwing out medical diagnosis based on posts on this forum is not permitted.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the forum rules in the charter.

Many thanks.
Ickle

jack128

Your girlfriend sounds very like me. I get so jealous at times and accuse my boyfriend of all sorts (although I've never ever hit him).
But for me it's a lack of self confidence, I can generally keep my emotions under control but when I have drink in me or around the time of my period I find it more difficult to keep my emotions in check and I fly off the handle.
We've had more rows over stupid things like how he looks at the barmaid etc that I honestly don't know how he hasn't ended things with me.

I do love him and my biggest fear is of losing him and yet I seem to do the silliest of things which I know could potentially push him away but at the time I cause these ridiculous rows I'm not thinking rationally. It's only when I'm out of my irrational frame of mind do I see how out of hand I was and then it's too late the damage has been done.
The only thing I would advise is tell her how you feel about her and how much she means to you.