Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Scared because of past or is he really just an asshole?

  • 08-02-2011 7:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Evening all,
    wondering if fellow boardsies would be able to give some independent advice, perhaps some of you have been there, done that?

    Like most people here, I've been hurt before, thinking it was a relationship that just did not have a label, when in reality he probably saw it as a FB situation, so I am extremly wary since.

    Have been seeing a new man recently for approx. 3 months and things have not been defined, have been told "give me time, I will ask you out, badly burned before" etc.

    Now from reading other threads on here most notably Sun Flower's,I am more aware of the commitment-phobe type men that are out there.

    I don't know if he is into me, but if he was wouldn't he know by now?
    I don't want to force him into a decision but at same time how long more should I wait, it was a good few months longer with the last "man-child" before I eventually asked where I stood and I want to learn from that mistake.

    I don't want to appear needy or clingy either especially as he has asked to give him time.

    But is this just a line commitment-phobe men use so they get to have their cake and eat it too?

    He never used to be a commitment phobe but maybe his last relationship really did upset him, but again if he liked me enough would that still matter?

    Can anyone shed some light on this and perhaps give some guidance on what my next step should be, I do like him but I don't want to fall into the same trap again and waste my time....

    Thanks so much!


Comments

  • #2
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    I'm starting do wonder do men ever say "we are boyfriend/ girlfriend" anymore, without the woman having to prod?

    Are we settling into a society where casual relationships are the norm?


  • #3
    kerryman12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 940 ✭✭✭kerryman12


    Hi OP

    I just dont get why this stuff has to be so complicated!!! (not talking about you OP)

    If he likes you, he should have no problem in saying that and being with you, only you.

    No matter what way I look at this alarm bells go off;

    1. it is as he says
    give me time, I will ask you out, badly burned before" etc.

    In which case he should sort himself out before he starts messing others around. 3 months is long enough

    2. it isnt as he says

    In which case he is, well yky

    Sorry for all the negative waves;

    Best of luck


  • #4
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    Im a bloke and I can tell you exactly what he's thinking.

    He isn't interested in getting involved further. 3 months and he's still unsure? At this stage, he's either interested or he isn't.

    Best leave this one. You'll avoid all the messiness then.


  • #5
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    Agree with most people here, I think its time to bite the bullet and walk away. It's horrible though I know. You put months of effort in and then when you finally build up the courage to ask where the relationship is going, suddenly you are informed that they dont want anything serious.

    Personally OP, best thing to do would be a casual meet up or text or whatever you see fit, saying, you've had a good time and you'd like to take things further. And if he blows you off with some casual relationship or not serious nonsence, just walk away, and be cool about it.


Advertisement