Falling Out of Love

LegacyUser

Don't really know who I can turn to that I know so thought some anonymous advice might help me here.

Have been going out with my girlfriend for over a year now. Everything has been going brilliantly, we had one row in total because we're just too easy going and that. I couldn't ever be mad at her and I really try to treat her like she deserves to be, I mean she's beautiful. We'd go out together or seperately with friends (and meet up after) and we trust each other immensely.

But for the last couple of weeks she seems distant. Normally we text quite a bit during the day or we'll speak on the phone before we go to bed and then we'd see each other 2-3 nights a week (she has exams, I'm working - so weekends are pretty much ours). Anyways, her texts started becoming more and more vague/one lined and pretty noticeably she stopped saying 'Love you'.

It had been bugging me for the last while but I put it down to her being under stress from exams/college. But we met a last week and she basically said that she didn't feel the same way about me as she did, and that's why she hadn't said she loved me. So I asked her was that us finished or what did she want and she said that no, she didn't want to lose me but she didn't feel like she did when we first got together. I found it hard to talk at this stage - asked her again what she wanted to do, she didn't know. I asked could we try work through it and hopefully she'll feel the same again - that there's always going to be times that there's up's and down's and she agreed. We met the next day and we just chilled and it was ok.

And thus that brings me to now. We haven't spoke the last couple of days (text or spoke) and I don't know whether I should be the first to make first contact or just leave it and give her time and space? One half of me says 'no don't it'll just be the same' but the other half of me doesn't want to lose the most special thing in my life right now... Our anniversary is coming up and I want to do something special, but I'm afraid that if that doesn't work or she doesn't love it then it'll further push her away?

What next?

Johnny Bitte

To me it looks like its over mate.

i know its hard to realize it when you love her but if she doesn't love you its just goin to make it hurt more.

If she is in the middle of exams maybe take a break during this time and meet up after to see then.
NOT a break to see others, thats just stupid.

Good luck to you!

Wompa1

Sounds like it could be over. I think she has an unrealistic idea of what a long term relationship is. I don't think anybody ever really sustains the full initial spark with their partner. Relationships mature and become more settled. It sounds like your OH is not happy with this, things will never be like they were when you first started going out. Presumably you don't think things have changed that much?, which they probably haven't but to her the excitement is probably gone a little because the initial courting and getting to know each other phase is over.

She sounds too demanding. I'd say let her go. She will have that initial phase with somebody else and then realize after it that she's right back where she is with you now only with a guy that's not as nice to her and thinking she made a big mistake.

LegacyUser

To me it looks like its over mate.

i know its hard to realize it when you love her but if she doesn't love you its just goin to make it hurt more.

If she is in the middle of exams maybe take a break during this time and meet up after to see then.
NOT a break to see others, thats just stupid.

Good luck to you!

Sounds like it could be over. I think she has an unrealistic idea of what a long term relationship is. I don't think anybody ever really sustains the full initial spark with their partner. Relationships mature and become more settled. It sounds like your OH is not happy with this, things will never be like they were when you first started going out. Presumably you don't think things have changed that much?, which they probably haven't but to her the excitement is probably gone a little because the initial courting and getting to know each other phase is over.

She sounds too demanding. I'd say let her go. She will have that initial phase with somebody else and then realize after it that she's right back where she is with you now only with a guy that's not as nice to her and thinking she made a big mistake.

Cheers for the above advice guys.

I think the bolded advice could be the way to go, in that maybe her head will be clearer given a couple of weeks space.

I don't think things changed much. I tried to tell her that things would always be up and down and that everyone goes through phases. Anyways, I left it for a couple of days and text her today to see how things are (purely because I thought the longer we don't speak the more awkward it would be and we'd already said we'd meet up this weekend). So we're meeting up Friday night.

I've already resigned myself to losing her in a way (spent the last couple of days telling myself it was over and to just enjoy myself and the company we have).

Am I stupid to keep going on with her (because one part of me is saying "keep trying) or should I just break it off and say that if she can't love me or feel the same, that there's no point?

kerryman12

have to agree with the guys above, doesnt sound good.

I would suggest you give her some until the weekend, if you havent heard from her by then - give her a call. At that stage you should be looking for a few answers.

best of luck