Guide to a housewife

Tallon

Rule 1 – Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time, for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Rule 2 – Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Rule 3 — Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip though the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Rule 4 — Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

Rule 5 — Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Rule 6 — Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures, and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Rule 7 — Be happy to see him.

Rule 8 — Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Rule 9 — Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.


Rule 10 — Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Rule 11 — Your goal: Try to make your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Rule 12 — Don’t complain if he comes home late to dinner, or even if he stays out all night. Compare this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day.

Rule 13 — Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Rule 14 — Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Rule 15 — Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house, and as such, will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

Rule 16 — A good wife always knows her place

Ave Sodalis

The best of it is, that wasn't a joke a couple years back. Our home ec teacher photocopied this out of one of the first text books about :pac:

Tallon

Yeah, it's not a joke.

I meant to say it's from a 1955 magazine on how to be a good housewife

dilallio

SarahMs

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Well, this is an easy one, right? Find the biggest cheesy nightclub you can; one with cheap drinks, pounding house music, and girls dressed in as little clothing as they can get away with. See, simple; hundreds of potential mates, drunk and apparently 'up for it' - surely it's just a matter of statistics and increasing your chances? [/FONT]

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Sorry, but you're wrong. Let me explain: [/FONT]

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]
[*]Why nightclubs are a bad place to meet women.
[*]Alternative and original locations.
[*]Modern, comfortable bars - the places you should be looking.
[*]Finding a lady to approach.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Firstly, let's think about the environment. Can you actually hold a conversation in a club like this? No, of course not, because it's far too loud to hear properly. It's hard enough to order a drink and no-one looks like a gentleman when they're having to yell at a person stood a foot away from them. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]You can't talk properly in this situation, so how else are you going to attract ladies? With your awesome dancing skills? If you're a bad dancer then it's not going to happen. If you're a drunken dancer then that's even worse than simply being a bad dancer. So perhaps you're a great dancer then? Close your eyes and picture a man with stunning dancing skills in the middle of a dance-floor, shaking his stuff. Are women flocking to him in your imagination? Nope; they're either intimidated or repelled by the self-obsession. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Finally we should consider the women. I'm sure most men have, at some point, had girls dance sexily with them. You think it's your lucky night, then either they move on leaving you confused or you make a move and are shot down. What went wrong? Well here's the thing; men primarily see dancing as part of courtship, while women can view it as either courtship or as something approximating a game or sport. To put it another way, you like football, they like dancing. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]So why are they dressed like that? Isn't it designed to attract men? Well, yes and no. In the same way that dancing has a single purpose for most men and a dual purpose for women, the way women dress isn't purely for men. It's also for women. In the same way you might compete with your friends to see who's best at Tekken, women compete over their outfits. Granted I'm simplifying the matter (and yes, if you've just got a great shirt you would probably not want to meet your mates only to find one of them wearing the same item) but I'm trying to illustrate the difference between male and female attitudes in this situation. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Lastly, in clubs like this there's a lot of drunks. This includes the women. A drunken woman is not the sort of lady you should be trying to attract since she's unlikely to be behaving like a lady and frankly there's something a little creepy about trying to attract someone who isn't in control of their faculties (even though you, of course, are wise enough to not drink heavily). [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]So nightclubs only have large numbers and alcohol in their favour. What are your alternatives? In short, women are everywhere. When you start to think about it like this it's something of an epiphany; rather than only seeing a few hours at the weekend as an opportunity to charm ladies, you should start looking at every day as such an opportunity. The office, the supermarket, the queue at the post office. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]As you start to consider these new opportunities you should begin to notice some offer more women than others. The sorts of places where you're likely to find and be able to strike up a conversation (see my hints for approaching ladies) are unisex, relaxed, and have a variety of people in your age group. Cafés, bars that have plenty of seating and that aren't too loud, shops, or even trains or planes. There is one significant advantage that all such places have over the meat-market nightclub: [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Ladies are far less likely to expect you to approach them and try to attract them in these circumstances. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]It's important to separate yourself from the herd, to be individual, and to show that you're superior to all the other guys. Having the confidence and initiative to approach a woman when you're sober and she's not expecting it automatically makes it clear that you have these desirable characteristics. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]The place where you're likely to have most success is a modern bar. Ladies do not view a traditional pub with a good selection of real ale in the same way men do. They're probably drinking wine anyway. To digress for a moment, women generally aren't too fussy about having fancy wines either - a nice Chardonnay normally hits the spot without them caring about the vineyard or vintage. It's important to find a bar with plenty of seating as well. While men generally don't mind standing up for a while, women wear high-heels and would prefer to take the weight off if at all possible. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]So you've found a comfortable, unisex bar that's female-friendly, not too loud, and hopefully carrying a good selection of women. You've read and memorised how to approach a woman. All you need to do now is pick one. You could just go after the first one that takes your fancy, but it's better to wait. Look around until something extremely important happens; eye contact. Hold eye contact with the lady, smile gently, and count to 3 elephants in your head before you look away as though you're a little embarassed. Wait a moment, then look back. You want to be caught looking at her! No, not at her chest; at her face! Other species have their own courtship dances and humans have one too - eye contact is the first subtle step. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]Of course, there's two other possibilities here. She may look away first. If the happens, keep looking. Nine times out of ten she will look back again after a moment in exactly the way I suggested you look at her above. It doesn't matter who does this first step, simply that it's done. When she looks back at you, smile again. After either of these possibilities you should approach. The third possibility is that she looks away before you and never looks back. This is less common. Do not try to attract her attention across the room in any way as it will just make you look foolish and desperate. Instead, simply try approaching anyway. Maybe it won't work but it doesn't hurt to try. [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, lucidia]For my final word on this topic, just one more piece of advice; if you still insist on trying to attract ladies in a nightclub despite my reservations then the best way to increase your chances is to once again separate yourself from the herd. Approach them almost immediately after you arrive. Other guys will wait until they've had a few drinks so you'll be ahead of them, more decisive than them and more sober than them. Dutch courage is not attractive and not conduct becoming of a gentleman.
[/FONT]


http://www.gentlemansguide.net/women/where_to_meet_women.php

phill106

Better times

biko

Joey the lips

Rule 1 – Have dinneryourself ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious mealyou ready, on time, for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungryhorny when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal ride (especially his favourite dishposition) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Rule 2 – Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and his fav sexy outfit pref with crotchless undies, and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Rule 3 — Clear away the clutterkids. Make one last trip though the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Send them to tesco with a list. Put a 4 stone bag of spuds on it so it takes them ages to get home

Rule 4 — Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. Nothing worse then getting thrown over the table and having a compass or pen in the back

Rule 5 — Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Nothing better than a blow job by a well lit fire.

Rule 6 — Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures, and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Tell them early they might have a new brother or sister soon.

Rule 7 — Be happy to see him. He is happy to see you. It shows in his trousers.

Rule 8 — Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Again a blow job for starters.

Rule 9 — Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.How big his nob is how wet you are, Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.


Rule 10 — Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Two women take a lot to please especially your sister

Rule 11 — Your goal: Try to make your home is a place of peace order, and tranquility meaningless sex where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Rule 12 — Don’t complain if he comes home late to dinner, or even if he stays out all night. Compare this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day. Again 2 women are harder to please than one. Especially your sister.

Rule 13 — Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie down in the bedroom. Its the best way to give a blow job. Guaranteed he will erupt like a volcano Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Its tireing work.

Rule 14 — Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. "I want you now baby" helps.

Rule 15 — Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house, and as such, will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. Enough said.

Rule 16 — A good wife always knows her place and a good husband will make sure she enjoys her place.