sex after baby....

LegacyUser

just wondering what to do... had a baby two motnhs ago and just stopped breastfeeding. all is well with me and the baby, thank god.

think it is time now to get back in the saddle so to speak and pay some attention to my OH! however i am not feeling very sexy.... my boobs are not the same, belly is defo not the same...not even sure whats happening 'down there'....

just wondering if its better to wait till i have tried to lose weight/tone up (is that even possible!) before i dive in.... dont want my OH to be grossed out/turned off me forever!

if any men could give their opinions i would be greatful...also some top tips from the ladies would be appriciated too!

help!

Mackman

From a male perspective, you're probably being too hard on yourself. If you just had a baby, he's probably more in love with now than ever. and he's probably dying to get back to it himself.

Just go for it. If your uncomfortable with yourself, then by all means do what you need to to get your confidence back. But dont deny him some loving in the meantime. He might be feeling a little left out with all thats going on.

fitness fan

I agree with poster above. My OH and I have 2 lovely kids and both times I was delighted when we "got back in the saddle" as you say. I did not mind the differences in her body at all as its part of life ! OH was a little self conscious alright but once we started it was onwards and upwards...:p
Good luck and don't wait any longer , you both deserve a good night!

LegacyUser

baba momma wrote: »

just wondering what to do... had a baby two motnhs ago and just stopped breastfeeding. all is well with me and the baby, thank god.

think it is time now to get back in the saddle so to speak and pay some attention to my OH! however i am not feeling very sexy.... my boobs are not the same, belly is defo not the same...not even sure whats happening 'down there'....

just wondering if its better to wait till i have tried to lose weight/tone up (is that even possible!) before i dive in.... dont want my OH to be grossed out/turned off me forever!

if any men could give their opinions i would be greatful...also some top tips from the ladies would be appriciated too!

help!

as a male i dont think your OH will mind about the shape of your boobs or belly,
Just jump straight in there and have fun!

dub_3

I was delighted to get back to doing it with my wife after the baby.
Wasn't at all bothered her belly was still a bit flabby (takes a good few months for the muscles to tighten back up again). My only concern was not hurting her as she had stitches, so waited till we were sure everything was all right down there.

So if you're good to go then just do it, you both deserve some fun in between night feeds and nappy changes. Also good for you two to reconnect as a couple as baby will have been getting all the attention.

Also think about the fact that 2 months ago you looked like a whale.
You prob look positively skinny to him now

ps. I don't mean whale as an insult or anything,
I loved my wife with her big belly

Canluum

I'd just like to link you to some tragically beautiful advice written by a woman after the birth of her children that's pretty relevant.

As others have said, he's likely in a state now of something like awe. I'd say grab hold of this, take advantage of it and jump in carefree and with both feet, before it becomes too late.

tbh

baba momma wrote: »

just wondering what to do... had a baby two motnhs ago and just stopped breastfeeding. all is well with me and the baby, thank god.

think it is time now to get back in the saddle so to speak and pay some attention to my OH! however i am not feeling very sexy.... my boobs are not the same, belly is defo not the same...not even sure whats happening 'down there'....

just wondering if its better to wait till i have tried to lose weight/tone up (is that even possible!) before i dive in.... dont want my OH to be grossed out/turned off me forever!

if any men could give their opinions i would be greatful...also some top tips from the ladies would be appriciated too!

help!

I'm so grateful to my wife for carrying our baby and putting up with all that entails that , tbh, I couldn't complain if she never wanted sex again. I know she's been feeling guilty about not being up for it, honestly, I totally understand. I'm sure your hubby is the same.

LegacyUser

Its only 2 mths since you had ur baby, ur way too hard on urself, I had a baby 15 mths ago and it took us 8 mths to get back into the saddle and from talking to friends it can be from 6 mths to 2 yrs before you get back to that normal sex life, your body has to readjust and your not in the mood so just go with the flow and let it happen, you'll be ready when ur ready and enjoy. Congrats on ur baba too.

ted1

as soon as the stitches are gone there is no reason for you not to be back having fun. Believe me you have nothing to worry about. You just gave him the best present ever and he'll love your post baby body.

CathyMoran

Our daughter was planned but if you do not want a delighgtful suprise so soon after having your baby do take precautions. You have just had a baby - your husband will be delighted to spend any time with you - he loves you and your child. I had the rubella vaccination after our son so we waited until 3 months and had fun when our son was asleep (he is in the same room as us). Personally I could not wait to be with my husband again but do take it at your own pace, your husband will understand - you have made him a daddy after all.