"You deserve more than me" - Ex boyfriend

LegacyUser

As the title says above, what does it mean when your ex-guy says that during/after the break up?

Quick summary: He was an asshole. Cheated. All cliche things basically. Have cut contact, never see him.
So, im still puzzled over this...

What did he mean? Is it just a line guys use? Or did he actually mean im too good for him? But if i was, wouldnt he of tried to hold onto me? Or not of given up at the first hurdle of doubts i had?

Recently, he asked a mutual friend about me and how i was etc and told her he acted like a príck.. Chance he misses me? Or is just testing the waters?

Sorry im waffling. But im still kinda mourning it in a way cause i just need some reason....Or conclusion. Help me?
All perspectives please?

A Plague On Both Your Houses

I think he's trying to guilt-trip you. He's basically saying "You deserve better than me." (AKA, I've changed. Look how caring I can be!)

We tend to do that a lot. I'd say just forget about him and move on. He's not worth the trouble.

LegacyUser

Hey
See, we had broken up. And exactly a day after I had caught him out. He had cheated like I had suspected. Confronted him and he said that?

Im just so lost and confused about the whole thing. If I was all that great and deserved more, why not just frigging behave?

He says I deserve more than him. Is that meant to care? Cause hes had no bother going out hooking up with tramps recently and we're broken up a few weeks.

But still, why pretend to care and do something else?
And why ask after me if hes hooking up here there and anywhere?

Waffling. Again. Sorry. Im just very confused

BTW - Love romeo and juliet ^^ Excellent username!

Firetrap

Love the username, plague.. :pac:

I don't think there's any deeper meaning to it to be honest. I think he's just saying it as a way to explain away what happened. He might recognise on some level that he didn't treat you too well and perhaps there's a regret there. As to how much of a regret there is, heaven knows.

amdublin

He's a complete cad.

Ultimately, he's just not that in to you.

Forget him. For your own sake move on and forget him.

kerryman12

TBH I think you answeared your own question:

what does it mean when your ex-guy says that during/after the break up

He was an asshole.

He was probably just talking at random to get out of the break up conversation.

I am going to be blunt - for a change!

Dont waste to much time rehasing all this stuff. Its time to move on and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Best of luck

Jack B. Badd

gutted101 wrote: »

As the title says above, what does it mean when your ex-guy says that during/after the break up?

"I should have treated you better... but I just couldn't be arsed".

gutted101 wrote: »

Recently, he asked a mutual friend about me and how i was etc and told her he acted like a príck.. Chance he misses me? Or is just testing the waters?

I found out after an old breakup that my ex used to repeatedly say to my male mates, while we were going out, that he should treat me better and didn't deserve me (apparently it used to drive them mad!). Long story short, he never did treat me better... Didn't deserve me either Move on, just because the guy acknowledges that he's a prick doesn't mean he has any intention of changing. Good luck, you sound better off without him tbh.

LegacyUser

It's just one of those bull**** things you say to fob someone off. Like "you deserve better" or "it's not you, its me". A coward's leaving speech.

Simple, he just wasn't that into you. He didn't care about you enough to not cheat on you. He doesn't want you back and he's not worth contacting to see if you can be friends.

shinikins

You know my Ex said that too, and he used to go to friends with the same story " i should have been nicer/i should have treated her better..." it was a way for him to elicit sympathy from others and make him feel better about himself. Like Jack.B Badd, he never did treat me better.

Be strong and move on with your life, he didn't respect you when you were together so there isn't a hope that he'll respect you in the future.

AJG

[QUO]Is it just a line guys use?[/QUOTE]

Yes.

spinandscribble

If someone cheats on you it shouldn't need to be said, of course you deserve better than him.

Probably a line he used to guilt trip you/make you/himself feel better, maybe he meant it on some level but honestly, does it even matter?


Trust me, you'll forget all about him in time.

PS. Whatever you do do not listen for information or let people tell you what he's been saying to them about you/the break up. it'll prolong the wonder.

WhatWillBee

He means 'you deserve more than I am willing to give you'

Basically he knows he will treat you like **** but he knows you won't do anything about it, so rather than put up with your hassle over it, hes dumping you.



Trust me, six months from now, you will realise he has done you the biggest favour and youll feel silly for not standing up for yourself waaaay before this.

So do yourself a favour, and take whatever self esteem you have left and start ignoring his calls and texts NOW. This doesnt mean, ignore his calls and texts in the hopes he'll want you when you aren't around anymore, this means NEVER talking to him again.

What do you need a conclusion for? He cheated on you and as much as told you that even he thinks youre a dope for putting up with any of it and now you think there might be a chance he misses you? You really dont think you can do better than this??

This may seem harsh but I think you need to wake up and get some self respect back.

ppink

OP it is just a line I'm afraid, used over and over by idiots round the world when breaking up.
If he misses you ....well great, let him miss you but I would not go there again if i were you. he sounds like he has a bit of maturing to do really.

LegacyUser

Yeah...Just not that into me...

Another thing that bothers me. How come he can switch it off? Feelings for me? Not fight or try and win me back? He was mad into me. Overly in fact. Its just, ok maybe he wasnt into me. But after hurting someone ,how could you turn off feeling guilty?

How can I master turning off the pain and hurt? I feel too much, at every break up. I sabotage myself by being so consumed with self doubting and self hatred..

How can I turn it off? I think i need to learn or im gonna destroy myself with self loathing and due to this break up, the tremor aftershocks lost me one of my girlfriends and ive caused tension in the house over my outlash at the situation....
I keep busy at college and am studying and having a great time with my friends. Its like a world away from all this. Minute i get home, the silence and thoughts begin. And the "whats he think of me now? will he come back?" start. Also the whole romance stories or reuniting starts in my mind..

Just want to be like a guy. Turn off the hurt and be cold. I know its horrible, but it upsets me that i fall hard .....

Its hard to think I can do better, when I dont have guys falling over me... Im not experienced at all... Not a girl who goes out scoring at clubs cause im afraid of looking like a slut and im inexperienced sexually so its not like it'll go anywhere.Im the girl who waits around for dates. But that has only gotten my bad treatment from my experience.... Im just a little puzzled about everything on this front...

The guy cheated. Cause I wouldnt get sexual cause i havent before. He knew that about me. Said he understood. Then did the opposite. Thats the truth.
Im waiting for that first relationship or first love. Where i can feel comfortable enough to get into it and learn etc. But everyone ive gotten with has walked away within the early stages. I feel like its gonna be like this forever.... And due to being rejected cause ive morals, i feel like a loser? And i know, theres a part of me that says hes the loser for throwing a caring girlfriend away for a fumble with a skank but theres another part that eats away at me. The painful one. And i need to turn it off or do something to make myself stronger and less vunerable!!!! But what? And no, i have very good self eestem so please, dont comment on that, its inevitable it would be down as ive recently been ditched for my lack of sex.

Ok, rambling again. Sorry!!


Im 20 by the way, if thats at all relevant?

Judes

Hi Gutted,

I won't say oh you're only 20m you're young (although I just did!?) - because age makes no difference when you're in pain - whether you're with somebody 5 weeks, or 5 years - love still hurts. But - you will get over this - he's hurt you - but you will bounce back.

If there is one thing I've learned over the years is that if a man says "you're too good for me" or "you deserve better than me" or "I'm not good enough for you" there is only reply that we girls should utter and that's "YES - YOU'RE RIGHT - YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME" and then walk away with your head held high. But it took me a long time to realise that too.

You will get through this and you'll probably have your heart broken a few more times over the years and you in turn may end up breaking a few hearts along the way. But stay stong ! You won't be gutted for long. Enjoy your freedom and the fact that you've escaped a liar and cheat. Cry now - but the tears won't last long. J

LegacyUser

I dont think its bull****, its true. The fact that he said it probably means he's glad you've broken up. i.e. "you've made the right decision because I cant be what you want". Its fairly simple. Dont try to read any more into it than that.