Hen Party Stress!

merengueca

Hi folks,

So desperate for help on this. I'm trying to organise my sisters hen party, and want to make it really, really special for her! So trying to do something unique, not tacky and utimately not a repeat of any of the mass of hen parties we've been to before.
The logistics of it are she has an equal amount of friends coming from West Meath and Manchester. The Irish girls want it in Ireland to keep the cost down, the Manchester girls can't afford to make two trips over (the wedding will be in Ireland)!!!

I managed to come up with a weekend in York, with a ghost/halloween theme - haunted pub tour, private tour of the dungeons etc (it was planned for halloween, she isn't particularly looking for a goth theme, I just thought it was a bit original). Apparently this is too expenive (appx 250E) and too far to travel for two nights!
So any help/ideas needed. I don't mind what country it is in, but it can't be too much cost, too far from an airport and just not the pink cowboy hat/cocktail making class style.

She doesn't want two seperate parties, but, I'm struggling to find an alternative!

Don't suppose a spa trip and dinner/tea...?

gillybean

I'm having mine at home as it will cut major costs and I can have it how I'd like it. Would you consider asking one of the Manchester hen's to have it in her house? Maybe then you could get a local hotel for the Irish girls or have the other Manchester hens put up the Irish ones as a compromise. Then you could theme it any way you like. PS I like the Halloween theme!

Heineken Helen

I've got a similar problem but, since everyone's broke right now and I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to pay for a hen party when they're paying enough for the wedding... I'm having a house party! It's gonna have to be in England and I'm not expecting the Irish ones to come over for it... they can give me another (more traditional... i.e. in the pub) hen party a few days before the wedding when I make it over there. But I don't want people spending money they don't have.

greenbicycle

Why not go to the Isle of Man? its right in the middle and not too expensive to get to from either side!

merengueca

Do you know what girls both ideas are brilliant! Unfortunatly the bride (my evil twin;) ) is adament that she also doesn't want a house party:rolleyes::mad:

But - definatly going to look at the IoM - fab idea, that way everyone is the same boat.

gillybean

There are gresat deals with Aer Arann to IOM and it's a lovely place

Heineken Helen

merengueca wrote: »

Do you know what girls both ideas are brilliant! Unfortunatly the bride (my evil twin;) ) is adament that she also doesn't want a house party:rolleyes::mad:

But - definatly going to look at the IoM - fab idea, that way everyone is the same boat.

Or not

That sounds like a great idea though!

Or have it at Holyhead, it's actually quite a decent town, friendly people, plenty of b&b's. Booze cruise and all that.

merengueca

I already looked at North Wales ... couldn't quite convince anyone that Holyhead was a plan - too many years parked up in the cow shed waiting for the B+I ferry to convince anyone to spend more time there .... even with the pull that Prince William sometimes shops in Tesco there (it'd just take one cute smile across the frozen chicken nuggets and I could elbow Kate out of the way and get to be a princess! who cares what country its for, the job comes with a tiara, loads of dresses and everyone has to curtsey when they talk to you!)
Anyway I digress!
So much as I love my sister I am hating organising this. I just want omething original that everyone will be happy with:rolleyes:

magneticimpulse

Heineken Helen wrote: »

I've got a similar problem but, since everyone's broke right now and I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to pay for a hen party when they're paying enough for the wedding... I'm having a house party! It's gonna have to be in England and I'm not expecting the Irish ones to come over for it... they can give me another (more traditional... i.e. in the pub) hen party a few days before the wedding when I make it over there. But I don't want people spending money they don't have.

If one of my friends did this, I would never talk to them again. I dont think I could face going to the wedding. That sounds awful not expecting your friends from Ireland to turn up. Ive quite some friends abroad and I would be absolutely gutted if they had the Hen Party abroad and not in Ireland.

Hen party is about spending the last big night out with your friends. Especially friends you grew up with and went to school with, which normally means back home in Ireland. If my friends had a Hen do in their current work city with their current colleagues, it would be very sad for me. Because they see my friends all the time, they can go out anytime at all for night out. I dont get to see my friends that often now we all moved to different countries.

Its definitely better to have a Hen Party in Ireland.

Heineken Helen

magneticimpulse wrote: »

If one of my friends did this, I would never talk to them again. I dont think I could face going to the wedding. That sounds awful not expecting your friends from Ireland to turn up. Ive quite some friends abroad and I would be absolutely gutted if they had the Hen Party abroad and not in Ireland.

Hen party is about spending the last big night out with your friends. Especially friends you grew up with and went to school with, which normally means back home in Ireland. If my friends had a Hen do in their current work city with their current colleagues, it would be very sad for me. Because they see my friends all the time, they can go out anytime at all for night out. I dont get to see my friends that often now we all moved to different countries.

Its definitely better to have a Hen Party in Ireland.

To be honest, the hen party is more of a burden to me. I can't afford it, my friends can't afford it (hence the house party) as I'm making them travel to Ireland for the wedding anyway. I'd rather just focus on the wedding and, if everyone lived in the one town, just go out to the pub or something more traditional. I don't live in Ireland so I definitely can't afford to go home just for a hen party. This isn't just my current work city, I met my other half through friends I have here and I've always had plenty of friends in England anyway.

I don't expect my Irish friends to turn up cos many of them have kids, many of them aren't working, they're saving up for the wedding as it is . If it was a couple of years ago, I'd probably bring them all to Italy for the weekend or something but it isn't.

Like I said, I will probably have a night out with the girls in Ireland a couple of nights before the wedding and just keep it simple. I don't like a big fuss over anything as it is. Once everyone's coming to the wedding, I'm happy

Oh... and I'm probably not inviting any of my work colleagues. They keep trying to invite themselves and find out when it is but I really don't want any of them there

Cadyboo

So many years ago Hen nights and Stags used to be the Big last night ever to go out with your friends, because it probably used be the Last night out with your friends.
They used go out only with the husband or wife. Nowadays its different, there are no women staying in forever rearing the kids, etc. So realistically a hen is just the last night you have out with the girls before you are Married. No doubt many brides have a girls night when they get back from honeymoon and many more nights after.
People make such a big deal out hens now, all they are is a pizz up.
Sorry for the rant..

OP I dont think you are going to win either way. Could you and your sister not go to England have a hen with them, then have an irish one too??

magneticimpulse

Cadyboo wrote: »

So many years ago Hen nights and Stags used to be the Big last night ever to go out with your friends, because it probably used be the Last night out with your friends.
They used go out only with the husband or wife. Nowadays its different, there are no women staying in forever rearing the kids, etc. So realistically a hen is just the last night you have out with the girls before you are Married. No doubt many brides have a girls night when they get back from honeymoon and many more nights after.
People make such a big deal out hens now, all they are is a pizz up.
Sorry for the rant..

OP I dont think you are going to win either way. Could you and your sister not go to England have a hen with them, then have an irish one too??

No thats not the case at all. Like I said, because of the current situation, my own personal experience is that none of us live in Ireland or the same country. Therefore, weddings are the only occassion you get together. But weddings are a b*tch because the bride and groom are so busy, that you dont actually get to talk to them on the actual day. Also ive never met the groom to whom my friend is getting married to...so i feel no connection for the wedding.

Its like that movie "father of the bride"...where steve martin misses most of the day for his daugthers wedding because he is busy sorting everything out.

Id be far more fussed about the Hen Party then I would be the wedding. I really could not care for the wedding....like i said i dont know the grooms...whereas im losing a friend. Id be more pee'd off about not getting an invite to the Hen Party. Its a night where you have an excuse to get everyone out and have a social night with the girls. Anytime i go back to Dublin its impossible to get anyone to go out. Whereas if there was a "hen party" they would have to go and id see not just my friends who are the Hen...but also other school friends.

I think people are under estimating how strongly people might feel about the Hen Party. I think the Hen Party is more important then the wedding for guests.

SSFG

Heineken Helen wrote: »

To be honest, the hen party is more of a burden to me. I can't afford it, my friends can't afford it (hence the house party) as I'm making them travel to Ireland for the wedding anyway. I'd rather just focus on the wedding and, if everyone lived in the one town, just go out to the pub or something more traditional. I don't live in Ireland so I definitely can't afford to go home just for a hen party. This isn't just my current work city, I met my other half through friends I have here and I've always had plenty of friends in England anyway.

I don't expect my Irish friends to turn up cos many of them have kids, many of them aren't working, they're saving up for the wedding as it is . If it was a couple of years ago, I'd probably bring them all to Italy for the weekend or something but it isn't.

Like I said, I will probably have a night out with the girls in Ireland a couple of nights before the wedding and just keep it simple. I don't like a big fuss over anything as it is. Once everyone's coming to the wedding, I'm happy

Oh... and I'm probably not inviting any of my work colleagues. They keep trying to invite themselves and find out when it is but I really don't want any of them there

The same as this Heineken Helen, I am only having it really because other ppl want it, I'd be happy with a few drinks in a local without going away for a night etc.
I am also not inviting ppl from work, and I am having ONE night only, for god sake some ppl go way overboard!
I think ppl that care about the hen are not actually the hen themselves!!

magneticimpulse

SSFG wrote: »

The same as this Heineken Helen, I am only having it really because other ppl want it, I'd be happy with a few drinks in a local without going away for a night etc.
I am also not inviting ppl from work, and I am having ONE night only, for god sake some ppl go way overboard!
I think ppl that care about the hen are not actually the hen themselves!!

Of course not...of course its the Brides friends who are excited about the hen night. The bride has the wedding to look forward to, but her best mates and female relatives have the Hen night to look forward to.

You have no idea how much it is a drag when majority of your friends settle down and become coupled up. They never go out anymore and become so boring. God, the hen night, is the last excuse to get them out.

Exactly my point, yis dont even want to go out for your own hen nights, because yis are too used to staying in at weekends living the settled down life. Hen nights are the only excuse that us single friends get you's coupled off friends to get off your arse and have a fun girly night.

Its extremely important to the likes of us. We are not expecting a fancy night away...just a night out in town like we were 20 again would be good enough.

SSFG

I am just not bothered full stop with hens!! Either as a wedding guest (I prefer the wedding to the hen) or as the hen herself! Incidentally I don't recall ever being to a hen where I spent any time at all with the hen. I went to Glasgow last year for a hen, the groom was from Glasgow so we thought this was fair, however now this relative can't be bothered going on my hen.
The girls who are going are friends I don't see that often, but are all looking forward to the hen which is great! A friend to me though is not someone who will go on the lash with me every now and then, its someone that I can rely on in a sticky situation, or for a chat, just for a phone call or whatever, no drink required. Imagine that?!

Heineken Helen

SSFG wrote: »

The same as this Heineken Helen, I am only having it really because other ppl want it, I'd be happy with a few drinks in a local without going away for a night etc.
I am also not inviting ppl from work, and I am having ONE night only, for god sake some ppl go way overboard!
I think ppl that care about the hen are not actually the hen themselves!!

See magneticimpulse, I don't have many friends like you I'm 30, my friends range from 27 to 40 and aren't mostly up for a mad night out anyway. If I had some mad friends dying for a night out, I would give them that and I'd let them organise it and just tell me the date

SSFG, I caved and sent an email to all the girls at work and now I'm glad I did though. I thought none of them would even reply to the email (cos they're useless like that, they go on about how nobody invites them anywhere then they don't even respond to the invite) but now there's at least 6 of them up for it. I was pleasantly surprised and they seem to be making an effort. My usual group of friends all know eachother so it's likely we'd just end up getting drunk and sitting chatting... but with other people I guess it might liven things up a bit. I wasn't looking forward to it at all and it's costing me a lot of money to organise... saving everyone else money cos it's a house party! But we're having cocktails so I've said everyone has to bring a different cocktail liquor.