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Ive done it again!

  • 04-02-2011 12:22pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am friends with my ex. We had been friends before we ever went out and remained friends after the break up. We did spend 6 years together but because of the distance and financial woes he called it a day on us. I was gutted and even though time has moved on and so has he, and I have tried dating but it doesn't work. I still hurt that we are not together as we were so alike and had a lot of fun. I loved him deeply. We broke up in 2009. We still chat everyday or he texts me or says something first to me. He has had two girlfriends since me and each time I have had to hear this, its like a kick in the heart. I know, I know its nothing to do with me and he has his life and all that etc., but I have tried to move on as I said and have dated and am trying my best to step out from the hurt feelings I have.

    Today, I have learnt from him that he is meeting with a 'friend' tomorrow for a chat and a laugh. I know what he meant by that but I pressed for some info and it was a girl he has been chatting with a year and a half but they have never met till tomorrow. I even asked was it a date, he said no and then I said well I suppose your gonna see where it takes you. He replied yea ...maybe..who knows.

    I've been crying and it hurts. I know I am being silly and I know he is not mine any more but how do I get rid of those feelings that I still have for him. He was a big chunk of my life and the happiest times I had were with him. When we were together he told me that he would never find someone like me again as people like me are rare in life and he said he would always be with me. I do hope for us to get back together but it is really hard since he lives in England and I can't hop on a bus to him.

    I don't know what to do to feel better and happier. I am not depressed or anything. I just have feelings that won't go away. They say time heals, I wish it would just hurry up! Can you please let me know any suggestions as to how to get by this. Thanks
    I really appreciate your help. Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It's oh so simple to get over someone if you're willing to follow the following simple rule:

    CUT CONTACT.

    Forget him. Do not talk to him on facebook/msn/text message/phone/skype/fact-to-face. Simply move on. Stop holding yourself back by knowing what he does and who he sees. It's not your business.

    The fact is you cannot be friends with your ex. There are cases where it seems to work but only where neither person is in love with the other but in general, one partner retains feelings and they get held back from moving on with their life due to their insistence at retaining contact.

    Cut it now. Delete him off facebook/chat/etc. Explain to him if necessary why you are deleting him, that it is hindering you from moving on, and that if he is a friend he will understand that you are doing this for YOU.


  • #3
    Peanut2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭Peanut2011


    Ivedoneitagain wrote: »
    I know I am being silly and I know he is not mine any more but how do I get rid of those feelings that I still have for him.

    I do hope for us to get back together but it is really hard since he lives in England and I can't hop on a bus to him.

    They say time heals, I wish it would just hurry up!

    Dear OP, the cut out parts above are the worrying ones. You say it's over and yet clearly the the reason you stayed friends is in hope you would get back together.

    Continuing like this, no matter how long it is will not help you forget him. Unfortunately the only way you can sort this out IMO is to cut all contact.

    He was able to move on while still keeping in touch but you obviously can't.


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