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The friend Zone

  • 03-02-2011 4:58am
    #1
    peoplepie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭


    It's finally dawned on me that i have some kind of complex where i am attracted to guys that are unhappy and feel the need to try and help. It must stem from my relationship with my father, where, he was always unhappy and i took it upon myself to try and make him happy, which i never could. Now in adult life i seem drawn to men with issues and end up listening to them and trying to help which i never really can. I end up being seen as just a friend.

    There was a guy i was crazy about and he opened up to me once and things haven't been the same between us since. It's like, i feel, that he no longer sees me as a potential girlfriend, and sees me meerly as a confidant.


    How do i break this pattern without being a bitch? It feels so natural for me to listen and give advice to someone who needs it, male or female but men tend to see me as a friend because of it. I'm quite lonely and want to be with someone but don't know how to get close to someone with out ending up in the friend zone.


Comments

  • #2
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    The friendzone doesn't exist.

    They're just friends who aren't romantically attracted to you.


  • #3
    G86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭G86


    peoplepie wrote: »
    It's finally dawned on me that i have some kind of complex where i am attracted to guys that are unhappy and feel the need to try and help. It must stem from my relationship with my father, where, he was always unhappy and i took it upon myself to try and make him happy, which i never could. Now in adult life i seem drawn to men with issues and end up listening to them and trying to help which i never really can.

    OP, I'd suggest you read up on co-dependency. If you feel it applies to you, there are a few self help books available such as 'co-dependent no more' by Melody Beattie which may help. Alternatively, you could look at talking to a professional with regards to CBT.

    Best of luck.


  • #4
    peoplepie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭peoplepie


    Thank you for your posts. I will look into co dependancy. Seems thats where my issues are.


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