how long

Smashhits

I've only started using boards very recently and this is my first thread. I would like to know how long is too long to grieve over someone?

I was with my OH for 19 years, married for 13 and we separated last may. He told me he had fallen out of love with me and had started seeing someone else. I tried after may to make things work but I knew he didn't have the same commitment as i did for the marriage. I eventually told him in november that it was over.

he's moved in with this other girl and i can't seem to stop crying. I love him deeply, even though he broke my heart, and think i always will love him in some way.

I know i'm probably rambling a bit and I apologise but i don't know how to put my life back together. all i do is go to work and look after my kids. I feel so lonely even though friends/family are good to me.

If this is the wrong place again I apologise.

LegacyUser

The wise women on Sex And The City say grieving time post-breakup is: half the time you were with that person. So don't feel bad that you're still thinking about things, he was a big part of your life. Meantime, fake it 'til you make it.... I am.

shinikins

OP, there's no set time for recovery from a relationship, especially when you've invested so much of yourself for so long. The sad truth is, men seem to get over breakups quicker than women, or they manage to file it away and not think about it. Speaking for myself here, i can't do that, it took me probably 3/4 years before the ache went when i thought of him, for me it was the betrayal that killed me, moreso than the actual end of the relationship. Spend some time being miserable if thats what you need, don't set a time limit on grieving for your relationship.

My advice is spend time with your friends, a good friend is a godsend, and one you can talk to about anything is the best. Go and spend some money on a nice haircut and some clothes, looking good definitly helps in making you feel good. Go out for nice meals, and take a break. Spend time with people who are fun to be around, laughing is great medicine. Go out and flirt with cute boys, having a hot man smile and wink at you is a great confidence boost!

Smashhits

Thanks guys for all your support. it's just a very loney time for me plus it's kinda scary. being with the same guy for so long it's hard to imagine myself with anyone else. One day at a time sweet jesus....thanks again.

Wompa1

Never ever listen to anything on Sex and the City...You just got to let it take its course, you were with him for a long time. If getting with someone else is something that will help you then go for it, if not then don't.

If you work maybe it would be a good time to put extra focus on your work..maybe do some outside certification exams or something.

greenprincess

My heart really goes out to you. I cant imagine how you are feeling.

Just concentrate on your kids, youself and your friends. Maybe organise some sort of a holiday in a month or two. Doesnt even have to be far! Just something to look foward to, completly seperate from your ex.

Also keep venting, it'll do you no good to hold it in. x