Anyone a carer?

Gottalovegreys

I'm not sure if this thread belongs here, or long term illness/personal issues/humanities??

Anyways, just wondering if anyone here is caring for a family member? I'm caring for my mother (but with help) and would like to talk to other people in similar situations.

sam34

cathy i deleted your post as we dont allow recommendations for any person or agency.

i'll move this thread to LTI as its more suited there

Aishae

yes - with dads assistance we care for my mother who is bed bound

cathy01

oh ok, sorry about that.Cathy

Gottalovegreys

I'm in a similar situation Aishae, although my mother isn't bed bound yet (eventually will be). What kind of support are ye getting? Just wondering how other people manage without ending their day wanting to throttle someone

fergal.b

Hi I am a full time carer for my son who has cerebral palsy and my wife who has MS.

Keep smiling.:)

Aishae

i feel for my dad - i had surgery on my spine last year which failed - im slowly losing the use of my legs. but im determined that when or if it happens ill stay as independant and capable as possible. personally, i know docs can be wrong, they gave my mam a couple of years to live - at best - nearly 9 years ago. so while im weaker i think - jaysus it may never come to that for me so what the hell.

keeping your sense of humour - that helps me no end with mam. but id happily throttle her at times as she has a foul temper when the mood takes her which is often. but i dont throttle her cos shes my mum and she needs understanding - i tend to think - once things calm down - how id feel in her situation especially as she must get so frustrated. i dont have it as hard as dad, he should probably be sainted!

sanjo

Hi, just came accross this thread by accident,and just wanted to say know what your going through, not much help out there for people trying to do their best for their loved ones. sometimes you want to scream and sometimes you just want to cry, hard to get to that spot(the middle of the road)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. just have to try and do whats best for them.

Resend

what do you do if they will not co operate.my friend has a parent who lives alone and has the house and themselves filthy. so much so family members will not go there. only one, my friend, was going anyway and he gave up could not live with the stress of going into squalor

Doctors said that because he is of sound mind he can live as he pleases.friend said fine he can live alone as he pleases

cathy01

Resend wrote: »

what do you do if they will not co operate.my friend has a parent who lives alone and has the house and themselves filthy. so much so family members will not go there. only one, my friend, was going anyway and he gave up could not live with the stress of going into squalor

Doctors said that because he is of sound mind he can live as he pleases.friend said fine he can live alone as he pleases

Thats true, we cant tell anyone how to live, as long as they are not putting themselves in danger, we just have to grin and bear it.I totally understand.Cathy

Spooky2011

Hi all. I've been an (official) carer for my sister for the last almost two years, but unofficially looking after her since 2002. She has MS, and in recent years has progressed (regressed?) to the stage where she can no longer manage the stairs in our house, and so is confined to her bedroom: bed-bound, basically. We're waiting for the Corpo to get off their butts and sort out a downstairs living arrangement (bedroom/bathroom etc); she has been passed for an Extension but that was last year and so far all that has happened has been that an architecht came out and had a cursory look around, scribbled some sketchy plans and said they'd be back. I used to work fulltime and support my sis, but eventually took voluntary redundancy from my job in 2009 and now look after her fulltime. It's hard, as you no doubt all know: good days, bad days, arguments, fights, exasperation, accusations of lack of gratitiude: the usual stuff. But then there are also days when we watch TV together, talk, reminisce about how things were and admit things could be worse. In general we get on very well, and she's accepted her situation with a lot more grace than I think I would in her place. Luckily we have four mad cats who keep us happy and sane most of the time. Life could be better, of course, but it could be a lot worse. Sadly, my two brothers are not interested in helping and have basically shut us out. My other sister is great but has children and grandchildren to look after, while holding down her own job, so she does what she can. It's tough a lot of the time, and depression happens, though thankfully not too often. Hopefully when we do finally get the extension built and she moves downstairs things will be a lot better. As an aside, she is currently suffering with her teeth but with no way for her to get down the stairs, I was wondering does anyone know of any dentist in the Dublin area who might do housecalls? Do such people exist? Thanks for letting me contribute here and any comments or suggestions, or just conversation very welcome. Best Trollheart

sanjo

Hi Spooky2011 your doing a great job. always remember that. to look out for your family is A1,can't help you out on your problem, just now, as for me forgive me have a few drinks in me so not in great shape tonight,but trying to manage all. not easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think im ready to give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. have work and home life to manage this weekend, but will get there

Spooky2011

Hi sanjo, thanks for the compliment! Luckily for me she's a very good patient and doesn't bother me every second looking for silly things, and her attitude is quite positive. Yes sometimes it gets to you. I recall one day only last month when we had had a bit of a fight, I stormed out the door, having to go out to buy food for our cats at the vets. I had to go to Fairview (live in Darndale) and it was a lovely day, and the very first time I ever realised I really didn't want to go back home. The feeling passed though, and of course we made up. Sometimes it's hard to fill your day, sometimes there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day for what you do, but in the end this is the road I chose (owing to the circumstances I mean: I wouldn't have chosen for her to have MS) and the one I have to walk with her. Luckily the good days outweight the bad, usually! Keep the faith and don't forget to put aside some time for yourself, even if it's only to watch TV, read, listen to music, go for a walk or whatever. Trollheart

dc1981

dont know if this is in the right place. but are there any carers out there that are NOT looking after a family member..........but obtain carers allowance for a neighbour??? if you want a day off to go somewhere, appointments etc. who do you get to cover you while your gone

cathy01

dc1981 wrote: »

dont know if this is in the right place. but are there any carers out there that are NOT looking after a family member..........but obtain carers allowance for a neighbour??? if you want a day off to go somewhere, appointments etc. who do you get to cover you while your gone

I think you need to work around when other help is available such as respite home help all of which you should be able to get.pm me if you need help or advice :)cathy