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Feeling helpless and alone

  • 02-02-2011 1:30pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Dunno where to start here so ill just start with the fact im feeling helpless and alone…
    I have a few close friends and a good few friends. Im an only child and don’t get on too well with my mum. I get on grand with my dad and ill talk about him later. Ever since I was young I was told to never trust anyone, that mentality has stuck with me now and I have a few problems and troubles that none of my friends know about.
    In terms of going out, I was a late bloomer and at 21 am only now going out having fun and meeting new people.Sure iv only started talking and meeting women in the past 6 months. No gf yet but fingers crossed sure…
    Academically I didn’t show up to class for the first 2 years. I think I did this for 2 reasons, First Ill admit it was laziness and the fact that I had 2 friends that could sign me into class. Secondly I wasn’t as confident back then and hadn’t made 2 much friends when I started college. I suppose this made me a bit anxious in class when my friends weren’t in because I had no one to talk to. Two of my friends failed the year so I was on my own at the beginning of the year. I had to put in more effort this year and have become good friends with 4 or 5 people in my class.

    This year we are meant to get work placement. Its coming close to the end of the year and I still haven’t got any yet and im starting to get worried. A lot of my year go to America and there are still a few vacancies in USA that I would love to apply for but cant due to my dad.
    My Mum and Dad have been divorced for years now and absolutely hate each other.. They never talk to each other and im stuck in the middle. I dread Christmases because I never really had a proper one…yea I got presents but it was never really a family kind of thing since I don’t really have a family. To make things worse, my dad has been fighting cancer for the past 2 years now. The doctors cant do anything for him anymore. He wont tell me everything but I have the feeling that he thinks he will die within the year.. He seems to have lost hope and just stays in bed all day. Im gutted to see him like this and theres nothing I can do.. After my dad goes I feel I will be all alone.
    Sorry for the longwinded talk just I had to let it out.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Listen, i know the idea of heading to the USA to forget all your troubles sounds ideal , but my advice is hang around if your father is so ill. Dont worry too much about getting work placement , its not the be all and end all. But you do need to put the effort in going to lots of interviews. I'm guessing coz you missed so much college your not feeling too confident when going into an interview.
    Personally i missed loads of college (sister ill,laziness) , so i had to wing it to get a job. Just stress to the interviewer your willing to work your socks off and take the job seriously. Try not to get so nervous.

    Also, you need to expand your social circle , join a club , take up a sport. This will give you the opportunity to meet new people and keep you occupied. Make the most of being in college and work hard.

    Your fathers illness is something you cant control so the feeling of helplessness is very understandable. The simple fact is there it nothing you can do , so dont beat yourself up over it.

    Most people will feel lonely at some point, but no one is lonely forever. Keep positive and you'll meet someone special.

    Best of luck in the interviews


  • #3
    merlie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 673 ✭✭✭merlie


    You're stressing out because of the worry of your father and the worry of college and getting work placement or being left out. Firstly, you should not be doing all this on your own.You too, need support and care. I would contact the Irish Cancer Society and ask for some advice. http://www.cancer.ie/

    There are people willing to help out. You also need to give yourself a break, could you ask a family member, an aunt or uncle to look after your dad while you are in college or if you want to go out for a night. The fact that he has taken to his bed, means he might be suffering from depression which is understandable in his situation, but this isn't helpful to him. Contact Aware, who may also be able to give advice in the matter. http://www.aware.ie/




    Try www.meetup.com they have interesting and varied groups. It is free to join and most events/meetups are free, others just a token fee.



    Remember to take one thing at a time and not the lot together.


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