When will he sleep with me??

LegacyUser

Just looking for some opinions, especially from guys!

I met this guy about a month ago and we've been dating since. I'm 30 and he's 32. He came up to me in a club and we ended up having a fantastic night together, both left our respective friends. This was over the Xmas period and he was going home for the holidays( he's not Irish). I didn't hear from him but he added me on Facebook then about ten days later when he was back rang and asked me out. Again, best date ever. We were out together for 12 hours or something. That was midweek. I ran into him again the following wkend by accident and he was delighted to bump into me, brilliant craic again. Basically we've had two proper arranged dates and two running into each other situations since the first meeting.

My issue is, he hasn't tried to sleep with me. I know it might be ridiculous but I feel I'm getting overaware of when its going to happen. I haven't really dated to be honest, my history has either been long term relationships or one night stands. My last relationship I had been in since quite young so it wasn't a dating scene/progressing to relationship scenario. I'm just feeling a bit awkward about it. Because he's dropped me home a couple of times and if it were casual situation I'd have no problems asking him in but because he hasn't made the suggestion and also that there's a little bit more than just one nighter vibe between us, I don't really know what to do. He tends to be kind of teasing even in his kissing (we've done alot of kissing at least!) pulling back on purpose if I get into it and only on the last time we met up did he make any other moves, touching my b00bs or bum a little bit. So I don't know if this is just the pace he prefers to move at. I'm a bit worried to take the initiative in case he finds it offputting, the girl coming on strong. I base that only on his teasing behaviour, I wouldn't normally consider this too much. He's definitely into me and is quite intimate in other ways, holding my hand or leg while we're out or even if he's driving. Maybe I'm just making something out of nothing. But I was out with him last night until the wee hours and again nothing! So its on my mind today.

Any ideas appreciated. I know it's not the most pressing issue, I'm just a bit confused!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Benincasa

Daisy80: This is a GOOD thing. You've met him only 4 times. He is clearly interested in you. He also clearly has some respect for you - he must want more than sex, otherwise he would have jumped into bed with you already and you wouldn't have heard from him again.

There was an interesting article in today's Irish Times showing the results of some research that showed that the longer sex was delayed at the start of the relationship, the more successful and fulfilling those relationships tended to be. It seems that it's because it allows other aspects of the relationshiops to flourish, and it also aids in developing trust - if you can resist jumping into the sack for a period of time, then it says something about your willpower and trustworthiness in resisting temptation when in a relationship. Before people start complaining about this, remember that there will be exceptions to this, but that the data shows that IN GENERAL. delaying sex TENDS to improve relationship quality and longevity for MANY people DESPITE individual exceptions here and there. I don't know if I am allowed to post links here, so you can probably find the article in the online edition of today's Irish Times.

Good luck Daisy80!!

Distorted

My guess would be its because he's not Irish. I live abroad now, and I find Irish guys try to be a bit "quick". The purpose of dating/getting to know each other is surely to work out if you want to have a relationship with each other, not just to have sex asap. I'd say he was a decent guy and really quite normal!

John400

OP,...you've only had two proper dates with the guy and ran into him twice!!!

Seriously just go with the flow. I agree 100% with other posters, he sounds like a good guy (we all know some women complain that there aren't any good guys left/ or that they even exist nowadays!).

Crikey, this lad sounds like a genuinely decent bloke. Believe me some women would bite your arm off to meet a guy like him! (seriously).

As regards sleeping with him, see how things progress and just go with the flow.

I am a friend

Its refreshing.... I would just take it slowly. Its obvious he fancies you so why not get to know him better before jumping the gun - pardon the pun

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies!

It's terrible but somehow I got used to measuring how much someone was into me by how things progressed in this way. Even though I had alot of the same thoughts as the people who replied here, there was still a nasty little voice saying in my ear "maybe he doesn't want you" etc! He's from an Eastern European country btw, I'm not sure how different they are culturally regarding stuff like this. I'll take it as it comes then I guess and just enjoy getting to know each other.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Hi,

Maybe he is like me and so might be very interested in you.

To explain, I have been in long term relationships, have had one nights stands and everything in between. However if I meet someone I really like I tend to pull back a little on sex.

Why? It allows me to figure out if I'm really happy spending time and chatting with a girl rather than falsely believing I'm interested in her just because I have a sexual outlet.

It has worked really well for me and when sex did happen I was more than eager and more than happy that it happened.

Good luck.

DamagedTrax

he's romancing you

enjoy it

Wompa1

Kind of funny that you base how interested somebody might be on how quickly things progress to the bedroom. Wonder if that's common with Irish women. All the girls I have gone out with never actually dated before other than maybe going to the cinema. Worked against me in some cases though...For all Irish women say about Irish men not being romantic, when we are the reaction can be pretty crappy....like a tilt of the head and "what are you like!?"

Beruthiel

daisy80 wrote: »

Any ideas appreciated. I know it's not the most pressing issue, I'm just a bit confused!

Welcome to how it used to be back in the day. When a man romanced you and ye actually knew each other before hopping into bed.
The build up of sexual frustration and the fact that ye know each other a little should make it an excellent experience when it happens.
Enjoy the build up. It's a fantastic time!

I am a friend

Beruthiel wrote: »

Welcome to how it used to be back in the day. When a man romanced you and ye actually knew each other before hopping into bed.
The build up of sexual frustration and the fact that ye know each other a little should make it an excellent experience when it happens.
Enjoy the build up. It's a fantastic time!

This is so true and it was so nice. Now 90% of the guys I meet just want to jump into bed. Where is the flirting and seduction and anticipation???Its such a turn off!!!