Long Distance

LegacyUser

OK so a bit of background 1st,

Im with my GF just coming up to 2 years. We had known each other before but we were both in relationships. Just before Christmas 2008 I split with my (ex) GF and just after she broke up with her (ex) fella (not sure if it was linked). We got together soon after, end of February, and its great. I really love her and believe she loves me, when together we have some craic, we love the same things, food, films, humour etc.. and she is gorgeous!!

The problem is we live like 200 miles apart...

I try to visit her as often as possible but once every 2 weeks is not enough, Id be up every weekend but she works every Saturday and driving/busing 200 miles for a few hours Sat night and Sunday morning is hard on both of us, she also visits when possible, about once a month.

It has come up plenty of times about moving in together, we came up with a few different options, (we ALSO setup a credit union account to start saving)


1- Travel for a year

Would love to do this but money will be a problem (see below)

2- I move to where she currently lives

Couple problems here. My girlfriend doesnt really like where she lives and Id be leaving a job and family to go somewhere with pretty bad prospects,

3- She moves down to me

Same again, my girlfriend would be leaving a job and family

(Both live with parents but would get an apartment wherever we end up obviously)

Another problem that just arose today is my wages are being cut, so whatever money I/we were saving will be cut drastically as I wasnt expecting this at all,

I really want us to move in together wherever it happens to be but money is a major factor and every so often when the subject comes up, she steers away because we both know that, for now, we just have to accept the way things are and hope it gets better,

I like talking about living with her, reminds me of whats ahead and something I really look forward to

Thats pretty much all over the place, im crap at writing things but could talk for Ireland

TBH I dont even know why im writing it, maybe just to vent some frustration

whatsamsn

Sounds to me like one big catch 22 situation. Were circumstances are dictating. Currently I think you should just try your hardest to maintain the relationship until good options become obtainable. She doing the same of course. Its probably best you both are on the same page with the forseeable future. Aka, talking about the situation standing until other options.

But you also say she hates living down there. You could suggest she looks for a job where you live. But I think it would go down better if you say you'll do most of the job-hunting for her because lets be honest, doesnt take much to send an email off with a cv / and or print and hand into a place. Even discuss it to be a long shot (considering jobs now) but its a long shot worth taking.

Tip:
if you do follow the above bit and knowing she lives down the country it would be best to only do interviews that are either full-time or suit her critiea. In other words if she gets a call and the job is seeking part time? and she doesnt want that? ... she refuses the interview. Knowing she would have to travel to where you live to do an interview? ... only pick interviews that suit.

Long distance relationships can be tricky and being blunt, alot fail, but from reading your words it seems to be working out so far so do your best to make it work.