Came to wedding without a gift or card.

dublin80

i

astra2000

Now I would never dream of going to a wedding and not giving a gift, but please dont make a big deal of it. It is quiet possible that they couldnt afford along with the cost of the day out and intended to give you a gift and card at a later date which they then let go by the wayside.
I dont think you should have told each of them how the other didnt give a card, that was bad form, if you had a problem you should have just said it to them or let it go.
Dont judge your friendships on wheather or not they gave a card/gift but how they treat you in general. Are they there when you need them, can you rely on them? This imho would be much more important than receiving a card.

stevejr

Hi Dublin08,

I would be a bit put out by this myself. But what would you like to see happen?

Maybe they simply forgot, assuming they're 'good friends' that's what I would want to believe were I in your shoes.

Is pushing the issue worth it? Could it lose you thier friendships?

I have some friends that are really tight. But I don't let it bother me since I never expect anything from them only companionship. Maybe you should put these friends into that bracket.

Btw Congrats.

dublin80

astra2000 wrote: »

I dont think you should have told each of them how the other didnt give a card, that was bad form, if you had a problem you should have just said it to them or let it go.
.

i didnt mention names to them, i just said 'a friend'. its just been playing on my mind, as i said a card wouldnt break the bank. i'd be mortified going to a wedding and not so much as give a card.

your right maybe a friendship is not worth ending over this, im probably just over reacting. but i do think it is very bad form.

dublin80

stevejr wrote: »

Hi Dublin08,

I would be a bit put out by this myself. But what would you like to see happen?

Thanks Steve.
I dont wanna see anything happen as such. i just want to hear what other ppl think of this. like am i over reacting or would other ppl feel the same. I am gonna let it go, but i will never put myself out for these friends again. how could you go to a wedding and 'forget'...lol
ah well im probably just doing my own head in. they obviously have no shame , i dont know are they really friends at all.
it takes somethings to open your eyes to some ppl.

WhatWillBee

Honestly OP, I understand a little bit your frustration but at the same time, you are being very petty.

These friends took time out of their lives, got all dressed up and spent the day celebrating YOUR wedding and you are flipping out because they didnt get you a card aswell?? Cmon.

I know everyones supposed to give a present/card but if these are such good friends would you not have understood theres prob a good reason, such as salaries getting cut etc. And to say that just because they could afford the stay in the hotel they should be able to afford a card is ridiculous. Again, they wouldn't have had to shell out for a hotel if you werent getting married so they did that for YOU.

What would you rather have, you friends there celebrating with you or a card/gift in the post? Move on.

Corkblowin

You don't get married in order to receive gifts and cards from people, and you invite guests to your wedding on the basis that you want them to share your day with you.....not because of the potential presents.

Update: Sorry if thats a little blunt! And congratulations.

dublin80

Corkblowin wrote: »

You don't get married in order to receive gifts and cards from people, and you invite guests to your wedding on the basis that you want them to share your day with you.....not because of the potential presents.

as i said in my original post 'i dont care about not getting a gift, but a card:O'
maybe im just too oversensitive or too thoughtful myself that i expect other to be thoughtful too. 2/3 quid for a card is not gonna break the bank.

WhatWillBee

dublin80 wrote: »

i expect other to be thoughtful too.

you dont think going to your wedding was thoughtful enough??

WindSock

Jesus, a friggin card. Your friends made the effort to go to YOUR wedding to celebrate YOUR day, probably took the day off work, spent money on their appearances, travel costs, hotel costs and booze and they didn't get you a card? Seriously, is it that big a deal? Is them being there for your big day not enough to satisify you?

MightyMighty737

The way I see it there's 3 things that could have happened here, and none of them was the friends want to upset you.

1) They genuinely forgot
2) Don't you normally have a year to give a gift? Maybe they thought gifts/cards given on the day woulld be an inconvienance to look after on the day.
3) They plan on using it as an excuse to call in and see you and your new partner in the next few weeks.


Congratulations on the wedding by the way, don't let something as trvial as a card ruin anything.

cheesey1

MightyMighty737 wrote: »

2) Don't you normally have a year to give a gift?

OMG I hope this isn't one of my friends as I am always late giving wedding gifts, sometimes up to 6 to 8 months. Some people told me you have up to the first wedding anniversary to give the gift. Also I know one of my other friends is always late with giving gifts too.

Some times people have a few weddings in the space of a few months and between taking time off work, getting there, dressed up they might not have the money to buy a gift immediately.

littlefriend

MightyMighty737 wrote: »

2) Don't you normally have a year to give a gift? Maybe they thought gifts/cards given on the day woulld be an inconvienance to look after on the day.
3) They plan on using it as an excuse to call in and see you and your new partner in the next few weeks.

I agree with this. None of the weddings I have been to have I brought a card or a gift and most other people don't either. Usually meet them after the honeymoon to catch up and give it then.

Enjoy being a newlywed and don't focus on this.