family won't help out sibling financially

LegacyUser

My friend's business has closed down. He's put every penny he had into it and it did very well for ten years. Put all profits into pension fund as suggested by financial advisor.
Now with the recession he is in real financial trouble.
He has a mortgage, less than 50k and other loans less than 20K.
He told me he is now looking at emigrating, renting his home.
I asked him if his family could help him out financially until he finds a jobs here.
To my surprise and astonishment he said he asked his two brothers and two sisters for financial help and each one said they were not in a position to give him a dig out.
Two of them are self employed, another is in the legal business.
I was very surprised that they won't help their brother who has fallen on hard times.
Is this the norm these days, that families don't help out each other.
I have offered him 5k to tide him over.
I say shame on his siblings.
Just wonder what others think.

sam34

family won't loan him money wrote: »

My friend's business has closed down. He's put every penny he had into it and it did very well for ten years. Put all profits into pension fund as suggested by financial advisor.
Now with the recession he is in real financial trouble.
He has a mortgage, less than 50k and other loans less than 20K.
He told me he is now looking at emigrating, renting his home.
I asked him if his family could help him out financially until he finds a jobs here.
To my surprise and astonishment he said he asked his two brothers and two sisters for financial help and each one said they were not in a position to give him a dig out.
Two of them are self employed, another is in the legal business.
I was very surprised that they won't help their brother who has fallen on hard times.
Is this the norm these days, that families don't help out each other.
I have offered him 5k to tide him over.
I say shame on his siblings.
Just wonder what others think.

maybe what they said was the truth, ie they are not in a position to help him out.

just because they are employed does not mean they are rolling in it.

you have no idea what their existing commitments/financial outgoings are.

money is tight for most people now.

why should they take on his problems and potentially run into financial trouble themselves?

tbph, i would be very slow to lend money to someone who was unemployed and had 70 k worth of debt, as i would wonder if/when i would ever see that money again.

tenchi-fan

family won't loan him money wrote: »

My friend's business has closed down. He's put every penny he had into it and it did very well for ten years. Put all profits into pension fund as suggested by financial advisor.
Now with the recession he is in real financial trouble.
He has a mortgage, less than 50k and other loans less than 20K.
He told me he is now looking at emigrating, renting his home.
I asked him if his family could help him out financially until he finds a jobs here.
To my surprise and astonishment he said he asked his two brothers and two sisters for financial help and each one said they were not in a position to give him a dig out.
Two of them are self employed, another is in the legal business.
I was very surprised that they won't help their brother who has fallen on hard times.
Is this the norm these days, that families don't help out each other.
I have offered him 5k to tide him over.
I say shame on his siblings.
Just wonder what others think.

His mortgage is so low and perhaps their mortgages are much higher. He also could afford to sink money into a pension, which actually saved him a fortune in personal tax & is a long-term investment.

Maybe that's why his family aren't in a position to risk their own livelihoods to bail out their brother.

Option one: sell his house, pay off the €50k mortgage and €20k loan, and use the balance to rent somewhere for a few years.

Option two: Rent out his house entirely and use the income to pay his mortgage and loan, and rent somewhere a lot cheaper -perhaps a bedsit or house-share, or ask a family member can he move in for a while.. a much more palatable option than looking for thousands of euros they may never see again.

Option three: Emigrate for work.

Bob Z

Are you going to give him a loan? Why put him further in debt?

Cheap Thrills!

You must be mad lending someone 5k.:eek:;)

I think the family are perfectly right. They are in no way obliged to lend the man money. Business is a gamble. Plenty of people are in the hole for more than 70k.

It was his choice to go into business and the way it works is if you take the profits you have to take the losses too.

neuro-praxis

You sound like a very generous friend.

As for is this the norm?

I have never asked my family for a financial dig-out and, unless I had a child in need of surgery or something, I never would.

tenchi-fan

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I have never asked my family for a financial dig-out and, unless I had a child in need of surgery or something, I never would.

+1

It puts people in a terrible situation. That 5000 you lend your friend will probably cause you worry when you realise you won't get it back, and your friend will not appreciate you any more when he sees you as part of the problem .. his €20k unsecured debt suddenly increased to €25k unsecured debt.

He should go to MABS and get advice on how to arrange payment schedules with people he owes money to. No point in throwing good money after bad.

Ickle Magoo

If you want to have a general discussion on familial obligations then Humanities would be a more appropriate forum, if you just want a general light-hearted chat about it then After Hours is the forum for you.

Personal Issues is a forum for posters to request advice from other posters on an issue they are having, as this isn't a personal issue for you, I'm closing the thread.

All the best.