pill or condoms, am I being selfish?

LegacyUser

Hi

Honestly dont know who to talk to about this so thats why Im here.

Me and my girlfriend have been together just coming up to a year and have been using condoms this whole time.
She was on the pill for maybe a month or two but came off it because I was going away for two months and she didnt see the point, we were also using condoms while she was on the pill.

We were chatting earlier and I asked if she wanted to go back on it, since I've been back about 5 months now.
She said Yeah she'd head into the doctor sometime in the coming weeks, as we're both a bit hectic at the moment. Thats fine by me.

I asked if she'd consider not using condoms with the pill, and the answer was No.

I tried to explain my problems with condoms, that I actually cant feel much and sometimes I actually lose my erection putting them on, embarrasing but its very annoying.
My own theory is that if we've been using condoms on their own until now and shes been fine with that then why her just go on the pill. It would get rid of all that awkward fumbling around etc.

The answer was still NO. So I asked if we could find some kind of compromise, like if even only everynow and then we just used the pill on its own. Even if its just one night a week, I know it only takes once to get pregnant but that still reduces the odds, compared to pill and no condom

She got pretty pissed off at this stage, and was saying things like "well I can do without sex" etc etc

I said I was just trying to reach a compromise and make it better for both of us.
So she said "You wanna go without sex at all? Fine less work for me" and has been ignoring me since.

Im really upset by this, we hardly ever argue and I really love her. I dont know what to do now. Even if I say fine I'll keep using the condom then Im gonna hate using it even more now, and it seems that trying to compromise just pisses her off even more.

Any advice? part of me says I might just be being selfish, but another part says shes the one being selfish

Help!!

Katgurl

Op when I read thread title I assumed it was gonna be an either or row which I could empathise with as my ex point blank refused wear condoms despite fact I hated hormonal effect of pill.

But that's irrelevant because your gf happy to take pill so like you I'm a bit baffled as to what her issue is. Her reaction seems ott. Is this unusual or is she often this childish? If answer is no then there is something really eating her and you have to find out what. Has she faced unplanned pregnancy in the past? Or an STD? I assume you would be willing to have full screen. Would she? And (sorry) are you 100%sure she's totally faithful?

I'd be needing answers to all these questions so sit down and have a calm frank talk.

If it turns out to be nothing more than pettiness - "I've to go on pill so you can suffer too" I'd be having a VERY hard look at the infant I was allegedly in the relationship with.

Distorted

I don't think its a matter of her being "childish" - theres nothing childish about personal contraceptive choices. My guess would be that she doesn't like the idea of going on the pill. A lot of women aren't comfortable with taking daily artificial hormones which trick your body into thinking its pregnant, and the side effects that can come with that. Maybe she is also worried about STIs, or failure of the pill.

From her reaction in saying less sex works for her and then going quiet on him, I would say the OP is in danger of being dumped if he persists. It doesn't actually hurt him to use condoms. Whats wrong with respecting her wishes on this? Cos if you don't, she might make the assumption that the you're more interested in having sex than in her.

kerryman12

Hi OP

TBH I think you are probably being a bit selfish, if she wants you to use a condom then that is fair enough in my opinion.
The point's made above by both poster about STI's is something that also crossed my mind in this case. Maybe that is something you should both talk about.

I know it only takes once to get pregnant but that still reduces the odds, compared to pill and no condom

That outlook and those odds are not really good enough, espically not for her.

I have recently become a father for the first time. This was a planned pregnancy and we are both delighted. But becoming a father has made me a BIG believer in contraception. You do not want to end up in a unplanned pregnancy situation if at all possible.

"You wanna go without sex at all? Fine less work for me" and has been ignoring me since.

That is a bit childish to be fair, but if she feels you are not taking her concerns seriously then perhaps justified. The risks/fear around pregnancy will always way heavier on a lady in a normal relationship for obvious reasons.


Neither partner like using condom in my experiance but maybe its a small price to pay for both parties, considering the risks involved.

Best of luck

selfishfella?

selfishfella? wrote: »

I know it only takes once to get pregnant but that still reduces the odds, compared to pill and no condom

That's the thing op, it does only take once. The other thing is that if she's only on the pill, she won't have any way of knowing until it's too late and she has a missed period. She could easily spend the month worrying.
I am also someone who prefers to use both forms, and the peace of mind from having a barrier method as well can't be beat.
I think she needs to understand your concerns and you need to understand hers and take each other seriously.
There are other forms of contraception to use alongisde the pill, you should both look into these together and find one that works for you both.

Katgurl

Am I missing something? I thought op's girlfriend was taking pill regardless???

@distorted, I meant her reaction to topic was childish

muinteoir09

Katgurl wrote: »

Am I missing something? I thought op's girlfriend was taking pill regardless???

Exactly.

STIs aside (I would assume both partners have been checked and are faithful), I don't understand why there is always a big fear on these forums about just using the pill as a form of contraceptive. Assuming typical use, which has about an 8% failure rate, are all those pregnancies coming form Ireland? Given that the GF in question is keen to use condoms and the pill, I would assume she would use the pill correctly, therefore reducing that 8% significantly.

OP, I don't think you are being particularly selfish. You have tried to suggest a compromise and your GF is threatening no sex. You certainly sound like the more mature person. If you press her too much, it might be the end of the relationship. But if you are not happy with the sex in the relationship, that is unfair. Sex is a very important part of any couple's life and BOTH partners need to be happy, not just one.

Fox McCloud

I dont think theres any compromise available when one person wants to use condoms and the other doesnt whethers its the girl or the guy.

She's stated pretty clearly that its sex with condoms or no sex, she doesnt want to have sex without condoms end of. Whether this decision is logical or not based on statistics etc is irrelavent at this point. Its a personal decision that each individual makes based on what risk level they're comfortable with. You trust the pill to keep ye child free and she doesnt.

It doesnt make you selish to want sex without condoms. It does make you selfish if you try to make her do what you want when she clearly doesnt want to. So your choices are accept her choice or move on.

Wompa1

I would say use both. not to get too graphic on here...but how thick is your penis? I had a major problem with sex when trying to use the Irish standard condoms. My penis is quite large, which is fine and well but I just couldn't cum for a long time with girls. It lead to problems with girlfriends because they became insecure and thought it was them.

I don't have that problem anymore because I started to order condoms online. Magnum XL Trojans. It might be that? My foreskin wouldn't really move much with the Durex condoms because they were so tight and it would hurt after sex.

If you are unsure about the XL, you could try large condoms....you won't find Trojan Magnum XLs in stores in Ireland I'm afraid. Large condoms can be bought in sex shops, if you can face the seedy feeling of going into one of them. Do though because once you sort it, it's fine. I've had sex with and without condoms and with the larger condoms it feels nearly as good as without.

ElleEm

OP, have you asked your girlfriend why she doesn't want to have sex without condoms?
Once you get to the route of this, things would be easier.
It could be the risk of pregnancy that scares her, which means you could look into other methods of contraception.
It could be the risk of STIs, so you should both be checked. She may have had a scare or STI in the past.
Some girls are also freaked out by the mess sex without a condom can create.

Zen65

selfishfella? wrote: »

I know it only takes once to get pregnant but that still reduces the odds, compared to pill and no condom

Op, this isn't the advice you want to hear but.....

Playing the "contraception Russian roulette" card is very poor on your part. This is not a risk that you share equally. Only she can become pregnant, so it's fair and reasonable to let her call the shots on which forms of contraception she insists on!

Be at peace,

Z

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Fluorescence

You seem to be assuming that pregnancy is the main reason for contaception OP, when it could be something else that she considers it important for. Have ye discussed any other types of contraception? There's more than the pill and condoms out there, so it's certainly worth looking into.

LegacyUser

There are plenty of types of contraception out there....but the vast majority relate to the woman. Short of sterilization, the only contraceptive a man can contribute is a condom.
Perhaps the OPs gf had a pregnancy scare/termination in the past.
Maybe she or an ex had an STD.
Maybe she figures the responsibility/hassle of contraception shouldn't lie wholly with her, that her bf can "do his bit".
In all liklihood, she's probably worried that if she relents on this, OP will insist on using no condom every time in future.
Pending the age of the couple (?late 20's early 30s?), OP might find things might change were there to be a commitment in place. Maybe worth mentioning to his gf would things be different if the relationship entered a more solid foundation?

emzolita

yeah you kinda sound a bit selfish tbh. if yer on the pill and you vomit or have diorreah your protection is tainted loads. also everyone has that friend who swears they were taking the pill safely but became pregnant. and like that, you dont realise till its too late.
She just sounds very cautious to me, and that's a great thing in this day and age, fair play to her for stickin to her guns.

Maguined

Contraception is not something you compromise over, its not like renting a DVD that you both like, no one should be forced to adjust their personal levels of contraceptive safety to someone else's.

She probably does not view the pill on it's own as being safe enough for her peace of mind, and rightly so its her call and she should not put aside these beliefs just so you can enjoy it better every once and a while.

I think you are being a bit selfish as you are prioritising your reduced enjoyment of sex over her fear of an unwanted pregnancy.

LegacyUser

but the point was that she was happy enough with one form of contraception when it was just condoms, which are not even as effective as teh pill...

not saying either are right but they should be able to discuss it.

ztoical

OP you say she was on the pill for only two months the last time and has said she would start taking the pill again but have you actually talked to her about the pill and how she found being on it. It's not the same as using condoms as you are putting drugs into your system and messing about with your body and alot of women have to change pills and it can take time to find the correct one that doesn't result in alot of side effects. Maybe she was having issues like weight gain or spots etc and feels she can't talk to you about it.

Or it could just feel like a dynamic change in your relationship for her...Making the choice to stop using condoms can be a big step for some people and it could be as simple as not being ready to take that step just yet.

Won't know unlesss you talk about it.

Nevyn

selfishfella? how much do you know about how the Pill works and what the side effects are?

LegacyUser

I tried to explain my problems with condoms, that I actually cant feel much and sometimes I actually lose my erection putting them on, embarrasing but its very annoying.
My own theory is that if we've been using condoms on their own until now and shes been fine with that then why her just go on the pill. It would get rid of all that awkward fumbling around etc.

You're being unbelievably selfish imo... So she should just shut up and pump a load of hormones into her body just because YOU have problems using condoms?!! eh ...right...

Who cares that she might not be comfortable messing with her hormones ( and this would be my guess if she didn't feel the need to take it while you were away)

who cares that the poor girl might be having side effects from the pill ( bleeding between periods, weight gain, nausea, breast tenderness, headaches, mood changes, blood clots...to name a few..)

Who cares if she mightn't be able to enjoy sex when she's worrying that the pill isn't enough to protect her

But sure losing an erection and getting annoyed is sooo much worse right?

So I asked if we could find some kind of compromise, like if even only every now and then we just used the pill on its own

Sorry but that's not a compromise, its like saying lets play russian roulette but only on saturdays, there's less of a chance we'll get shot.

For those saying oh but she's only using one form of contraception now.
its like comparing apples and oranges, if you have an accident with a condom - you know - and you can do something about it, go get the morning after pill. If you're sick/take antibiotics/late taking a pill/forget to take a pill you have no idea if you're at risk of pregnancy until your pregnant.

Condoms have no side effects for either party. The pill does. Why would you put someone you love through that for the sake of not having to "fumble around" with condoms?!!

I tried to explain my problems with condoms, that I actually cant feel much

Condoms reduce sensitivity a little fair enough, but saying I actually cant feel much would suggest that you're using the wrong size condoms...have YOU tried other brands/types of condoms to see it they're any better?

I can't believe there's been suggestions that she's being selfish. She doesn't want to get pregnant. A lot of people feel that being on the pill is enough certainty for them, considering the disadvantages of condoms, but this girl doesn't. She's looking for more safety than the pill alone can give her. It's her right to feel safe during sex, and if she's this worried about it, clearly having sex without a condom is going to be a scary and uncomfortable for her.

OP, sorry but I think it's terrible that you would try to push this on her. Your "compromise" is not a compromise, it's her having to have sex in a way she does not want to, and your outlook seems to be "well if I have sex her way most of the time then she should let me have my way once a week". I know you thought you were being reasonable, but this is pushy.

This is not an emotional issue. It's not a matter of finding a compromise. This is about fact. You don't find sex enjoyable with a condom. She can't allow herself to get pregnant. You have no right to ask her to put her body at risk. It comes down to just how bad sex with condoms is for you. If it's something you can overcome, then do. If it's too uncomfortable for you, then you and your girlfriend are sexually incompatible, and that's something you will have to address.

Nevyn

There are some women who simply can not take the pill, it's not medically safe for them or the side effects are too extreme. The Pill is not a magical solultion for all women.

johnr1

This seems to have generated all the usual "selfish f****r" type comments, which I suspect come from either women, who have no pressure to retain an erection through the process of putting on a condom, or from men who have built up their sexual experience while wearing one consistently, and luckily for them dont have any issues with the severely reduced sensitivity they cause some men.
To be fair though, there may be a psychological fear of losing erection 'because of the condom' at work as well, which in turn becomes self perpetuating. This could be dealt with.
This lack of feeling is real though, not imagined, as has been suggested here by some posters, and this demonising of the OP, and which I saw before in another similar thread is just plain stupidity.
I disagree that it is just a problem for the OP, because if he is losing erection, hardness etc, and worrying about it while having sex, his partner is also losing out.
I agree that many women experience awful side effects from the pill, and should not be guilted into using it if they don't want to.
Good point earlier by another poster re larger condoms, - maybe they would help, I am presuming the OP has already tried fetherlite as opposed to thicker ones.
Its a difficult problem to resolve, and I dont have a solution either, but most importantly, it is entirely the OPs partner's right to insist on condoms, and he will have to deal with that as best he can.

Ickle Magoo

No, OP, I don't think you are being selfish at all - you are having issues with condoms, you are in a faithful, monogamous relationship and with your girlfriend going on the pill you wish to explore the alternatives to using condoms - nothing selfish about that.

The thing is, there is nothing selfish about your girlfriend not wanting to stop using condoms either. It could be for the added protection, it could be to save on mess, it could be as an extra barrier to STDs - some of which don't show up immediately. What it is doesn't really matter, your girlfriend is resolute and so you are either going to have to find a way around it or find another girlfriend. Definitely give the bigger/different makes of condom a go - and practice more, you call it "fumbling around" which sounds like it isn't something you are able to do quickly and efficiently which of course is going to cause stress and lack sexiness.

All the best

LegacyUser

Op, there are more methods of contraception than just the pill and male condoms if you are not aware. Has your girlfriend considered using a female condom or diaphragm in conjunction with the pill? You should definately talk to her about them anyway.

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

No, OP, I don't think you are being selfish at all - you are having issues with condoms, you are in a faithful, monogamous relationship and with your girlfriend going on the pill you wish to explore the alternatives to using condoms - nothing selfish about that.

The thing is, there is nothing selfish about your girlfriend not wanting to stop using condoms either. It could be for the added protection, it could be to save on mess, it could be as an extra barrier to STDs - some of which don't show up immediately. What it is doesn't really matter, your girlfriend is resolute and so you are either going to have to find a way around it or find another girlfriend. Definitely give the bigger/different makes of condom a go - and practice more, you call it "fumbling around" which sounds like it isn't something you are able to do quickly and efficiently which of course is going to cause stress and lack sexiness.

All the best

Thanks
I think this and some of the posts along these lines are the best I've read in this thread.

After reading this thread and getting talking to her about it again, I just fully explained what the problems I was having with condoms were, she agreed that they were annoying but said that she'd worry to much between periods. I agreed that the last thing I want her to do is worry and tbh it would weigh on my mind alot too.

Sooooo we had a look a the types we're using, and I think we might have been just using cheap/bad brands ( we're both fairly young, 21 & 22, neither of us have been in a relationship before or had sex before we met each other so we're both fairly clueless!).
We had a look online so we're probably going to start using something like Durex or trojan (easier to get on?)
I dunno this seems like the best solution? I think Im happy with it anyway, especially if these easy fit or ultra-lite ones are as good as they say. We might leave the ultra lite ones until shes on the pill again, just to be safe and I wont mind anyway as long as I can feel something and they dont hurt putting them on

I think some of you didnt read the post properly
SHE WAS ALREADY GOING BACK ON THE PILL. I said that in my post, it was never a case that I just wanted her to go on it so I could "ride bareback".

So I suppose unless someone can offer advice on decent condoms then I guess the matter is resolved thanks very much.

Wompa1

Ok, well I'd said in my earlier post go for large condoms or the Trojan Magnum XL..but if you aren't adequately equipped in girth it could be a messy situation...the condom could roll off.

Durex are the easiest to come by in Ireland. I think their light ones are featherlights, They aren't any less safe than the other condoms but there is that mental stigma of less protection. Light one's are good though.

The tingle and heat one's didn't do much for me or the girl..but maybe they could help in your situation. Personally though I didn't feel anything different with the tingle and the heat one was a bit distracting.

Extra safe actually seem wider than the others so could be good in that respect but it does kill it a bit. You don't feel as much.

For you I'd say try the tingle..green box
The one's I tried from a sex shop were bigger than the durex but seemed to smell a bit which was off putting.

I suspect you need to practice putting the condom on. If you keep looking at your partner it could help or maybe she could put it on for you. I usually put a finger in and roll it down a little so I know I have the right way around. The just put it over it and roll it down nice and easy. If you put it on the wrong way it won't go down the whole way and will be quite resistant.

Try it out alone maybe to get use to it. Condom would be wasted but it could be worth it. When you are picking up the condoms a lot of places sell rings. Could give that a try when you get more adventurous

Billy7878

:pac:

Wompa1 wrote: »

but if you aren't adequately equipped in girth it could be a messy situation...the condom could roll off.

haha you sound like a man who loves his own lad

Nevyn

Billy7878 Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Wompa1

Billy7878 wrote: »

:pac:

haha you sound like a man who loves his own lad

It's my best friend and only redeemable feature. I have a personality like a dry dish cloth. I'm happy with it anyway! I've just had a bit of experience with different condoms trying to find the right one, just trying to help.

dar83

selfishguy? wrote: »

Sooooo we had a look a the types we're using, and I think we might have been just using cheap/bad brands ( we're both fairly young, 21 & 22, neither of us have been in a relationship before or had sex before we met each other so we're both fairly clueless!).
We had a look online so we're probably going to start using something like Durex or trojan (easier to get on?)
I dunno this seems like the best solution? I think Im happy with it anyway, especially if these easy fit or ultra-lite ones are as good as they say. We might leave the ultra lite ones until shes on the pill again, just to be safe and I wont mind anyway as long as I can feel something and they dont hurt putting them on

If neither of you are worried about STD's (which if you're each others first I'm guessing you're not) then look into "Natural Lamb" brand condoms. I cant stand using condoms either, but they are a necessary evil in a lot of situations and I tend to only try and use Featherlite or Ultra-Featherlite, otherwise I energiser bunny all night, which is no good thing for anyone, not after the first hour anyway.
But, Natural Lamb condoms are actually good enough that it nearly feels like nothing at all, the only things you have to get over is that it is a natural membrane and also that they dont protect against STD's. They're made for people allergic to latex and the only downside is that they're actually pretty expensive and you have to get them from the States (I am yet to find them available anywhere here). Worth it for the improved sex life though, if you ask me.
Here is where I've got them from,always discreet packaging if thats a worry for you...

http://www.undercovercondoms.com/Condoms/Trojan/27/Natural-Lamb-Lubricated.html

LegacyUser

The thing that struck me about this is that she said that if you didn't use condoms, she was happy not to have sex. I can't imagine why I would be in a relationship with a man I didn't want to have sex with. Maybe you should talk to her about that as it may become an issue if the relationship is to continue.

I can understand her fear about the pill - I would have been the same when I was in my early 20s, partly as a result of scare-mongering in school e.g. you're more likely to get cancer on the pill, it's only effective x% of the time etc. The reality is that if you use it correctly and use additional contraception, such as condoms, when you aren't well/on anti-biotics, you're not going to become effective.

Has she had sex without a condom? I can't believe someone would choose to use condoms when they are in a monotonous relationship both parties had been tested for stds. Condoms aren't just annoying for men!

In short, deal with the not wanting to have sex issue and if that's resolved, recognise that young girls can get very paranoid about becoming pregnant and she may just need reasurrance and the facts.

LegacyUser

I can't believe someone would choose to use condoms when they are in a monotonous relationship both parties had been tested for stds. Condoms aren't just annoying for men!

I don't see what's so surprising about a 21 year old not wanting to get pregnant! If she was older and having a baby was not a huge deal then yes not using condoms would not be a problem, but she's 21!! she's not choosing not using condoms, she's chosing being a responsible adult and doing whatever she can to ensure she doesn't get stuck with a kid she doesn't want at 21! and more power to her for sticking to her principals, loads of women out there have caved in to pressure and found themselves unwilling young mothers.

In short, deal with the not wanting to have sex issue and if that's resolved, recognise that young girls can get very paranoid about becoming pregnant and she may just need reasurrance and the facts.

?? well the 'facts' would suggest that using 2 methods of contraception would make her chances of getting pregnant very slim. The facts would suggest that the pill is not 100% guaranteed, the 'facts' would suggest that many women have gotten pregnant by relying on the pill alone, the facts suggest that far fewer women get pregnant using 2 methods of contracteption. Getting pregnant is not "paranoia" as you put its a very real possibility when 2 people have sex, its still a possibility when a woman is taking the pill.

LegacyUser

and yet this same girl, was happy to use one method of contraception which is not as effective and although willing to take the pill is not in a hurry to go get a prescription.

tbh id want to know what her reasons are. everyone here is merely speculating about her not wanting to take the pill, feeling she needs two methods, sex is too messy...

communication.

LegacyUser

whatareyouonabout? wrote: »

I don't see what's so surprising about a 21 year old not wanting to get pregnant! If she was older and having a baby was not a huge deal then yes not using condoms would not be a problem, but she's 21!! she's not choosing not using condoms, she's chosing being a responsible adult and doing whatever she can to ensure she doesn't get stuck with a kid she doesn't want at 21! and more power to her for sticking to her principals, loads of women out there have caved in to pressure and found themselves unwilling young mothers.



?? well the 'facts' would suggest that using 2 methods of contraception would make her chances of getting pregnant very slim. The facts would suggest that the pill is not 100% guaranteed, the 'facts' would suggest that many women have gotten pregnant by relying on the pill alone, the facts suggest that far fewer women get pregnant using 2 methods of contracteption. Getting pregnant is not "paranoia" as you put its a very real possibility when 2 people have sex, its still a possibility when a woman is taking the pill.

Ok, I think you may have mis-understood me. I'm not saying that she should not use contraception - she is, or is planning to, go on the pill which means she shouldn't get pregnant if she uses it properly.

And yes I do know that people have become pregnant while on the pill. However of the people I personally know who got pregnant while taking the pill, they were either on anti-biotics, had diarrhoea, or failed to take at the correct time. I would strongly advise using condoms if any of these conditions occur.

LegacyUser

Ok, I think you may have mis-understood me. I'm not saying that she should not use contraception

No i understood you, you said she should put all her eggs (excuse the pun) in one basket, because condoms don't feel as good as sex without

she is, or is planning to, go on the pill which means she shouldn't get pregnant if she uses it properly.

And yes I do know that people have become pregnant while on the pill. However of the people I personally know who got pregnant while taking the pill, they were either on anti-biotics, had diarrhoea, or failed to take at the correct time.

Its ironic how your initial post was a condescending "young girls are paranoid...she doesn't know it feels better..oh she doesn't know the facts..." any yet you seem to think the pill is fail safe and the only time it doesn't work is when the woman using it does something wrong!!

With Perfect use (i.e the woman takes it correctly to the letter) the pill has a failure rate of 1%...now 1% doesn't sound like a huge %, small enough for a lot of people to rely on it. But think how many women worldwide who use the pill...a few million maybe?...Now 1% of a few million 20,000? that's a lot of babies. That 1% failure rate happens to some. At 21 I'd rather make sure it didn't happen to me, than take a gamble because it feels better not using condoms.

LegacyUser

what.are.you.on.about? wrote: »

With Perfect use (i.e the woman takes it correctly to the letter) the pill has a failure rate of 1%...now 1% doesn't sound like a huge %, small enough for a lot of people to rely on it. But think how many women worldwide who use the pill...a few million maybe?...Now 1% of a few million 20,000? that's a lot of babies. That 1% failure rate happens to some. At 21 I'd rather make sure it didn't happen to me, than take a gamble because it feels better not using condoms.

Actually the most commonly quoted perfect use failure rate for the pill has the combined pill at a 0.3% failure rate. So if 100 women use the pill for 1 year less than 1 will become pregnant. Maybe splitting hairs a bit........but I still think 3 in 1000 is a good bit less than 1 in 100!!!

http://www.contraceptivetechnology.org/table.html

Ickle Magoo

Bearing in mind what the OP's girlfriend has stated, nit-picking over stats is neither helpful nor on-topic.