break up :-(

LegacyUser

My girlfirend and I had a long distance relationship, so communication was important. From start of december on I noticed she wasn't as good at keeping in touch, she was never great at texting but wud normally be on facebook for a chat most evenings. She didnt use it much since then. I went up to see her on the day after Stephens day and was worried, as I hadn't heard as much from her and thought something was wrong. We got on great though as good as usual so i thought i was just being paranoid! family and stuff aroudn over christmas, plus she finished up in a job a week before christmas so less routine.

After that though again she was not communicating as well as she had, but any time we met up it was great so i just thought i was being paranoid. THen i noticed the last 2 weeks, she never recipricated any of my good night x's... she'd often miss one or two before but not a whole two weeks! she would never go on facebook to chat and i'd to call her to get hold of her. I admitidly proboably didn't help things by being 'needy' wonder why she wasn't responding to my texts.... I'd give her my news for the day and ask her how hers was and i wudn't recieve a reply, or an apoology for not replying.

SO i was really worried meeting her yesterday. But again, everything was fine, we went out and had great craic, jus the two of us. But during pillow talk, I sp. aid something 'really nice' (can't remember what), but it guilted her into saing that she wanted to break up. She said she hadn't been replying to the texts as she wasn't happy. She said she still loves me and is attracted to me. But that she shouldn't have started seeing somebody so soon after her ex of 4 years. She said she felt smothered. I think she was also in bad form as she's out of work, and lives up north on £55 a week at the min. She said she loves spending time with me and would like me to still visit the odd time. Neither of us got much sleep, we were spooning and she was hugging me and even kissed me on the lips, and today when i was leaving.


I love this girl to pieces, and am heartbroken. My plan is to give her space, respond to her when she texts of facebooks me (she was chatting to me on it this evening) but try not to be needy. Be the guy she fell for in the first place, not some pathetic person sayin how much i miss her etc. Why whould she want to keep in touch with somebody like that? I'll give her a wide berth for 2 months or so and then call up to see her as i've stuff to collect and see how it goes. MAybe she just needs some time and space to herself. Is this the best plan do you think? or will she feel unwanted if i never tell her i miss her? She saw my crying and stuff today, so knows i'm hurt, so i figure i should tell my friends how much i miss her and get suppoort from them rather than her.

I know i should prob just move on, but i'm crazy about her. We were together for 8 months, but we got on so well. WE never even had a fight (maybe this wasn't natural?!), I met her for the first time in 5 years, when we started seeing each other. We met traveling 5 years ago, but she had a boyfirend at the time, so nothing happened, even though we both liked each other a lot.

Any opionions? thanks!

Wompa1

So Lonely wrote: »

My girlfirend and I had a long distance relationship, so communication was important. From start of december on I noticed she wasn't as good at keeping in touch, she was never great at texting but wud normally be on facebook for a chat most evenings. She didnt use it much since then. I went up to see her on the day after Stephens day and was worried, as I hadn't heard as much from her and thought something was wrong. We got on great though as good as usual so i thought i was just being paranoid! family and stuff aroudn over christmas, plus she finished up in a job a week before christmas so less routine.

After that though again she was not communicating as well as she had, but any time we met up it was great so i just thought i was being paranoid. THen i noticed the last 2 weeks, she never recipricated any of my good night x's... she'd often miss one or two before but not a whole two weeks! she would never go on facebook to chat and i'd to call her to get hold of her. I admitidly proboably didn't help things by being 'needy' wonder why she wasn't responding to my texts.... I'd give her my news for the day and ask her how hers was and i wudn't recieve a reply, or an apoology for not replying.

SO i was really worried meeting her yesterday. But again, everything was fine, we went out and had great craic, jus the two of us. But during pillow talk, I sp. aid something 'really nice' (can't remember what), but it guilted her into saing that she wanted to break up. She said she hadn't been replying to the texts as she wasn't happy. She said she still loves me and is attracted to me. But that she shouldn't have started seeing somebody so soon after her ex of 4 years. She said she felt smothered. I think she was also in bad form as she's out of work, and lives up north on £55 a week at the min. She said she loves spending time with me and would like me to still visit the odd time. Neither of us got much sleep, we were spooning and she was hugging me and even kissed me on the lips, and today when i was leaving.


I love this girl to pieces, and am heartbroken. My plan is to give her space, respond to her when she texts of facebooks me (she was chatting to me on it this evening) but try not to be needy. Be the guy she fell for in the first place, not some pathetic person sayin how much i miss her etc. Why whould she want to keep in touch with somebody like that? I'll give her a wide berth for 2 months or so and then call up to see her as i've stuff to collect and see how it goes. MAybe she just needs some time and space to herself. Is this the best plan do you think? or will she feel unwanted if i never tell her i miss her? She saw my crying and stuff today, so knows i'm hurt, so i figure i should tell my friends how much i miss her and get suppoort from them rather than her.

I know i should prob just move on, but i'm crazy about her. We were together for 8 months, but we got on so well. WE never even had a fight (maybe this wasn't natural?!), I met her for the first time in 5 years, when we started seeing each other. We met traveling 5 years ago, but she had a boyfirend at the time, so nothing happened, even though we both liked each other a lot.

Any opionions? thanks!

I'm kind of in a similar situation at the moment...in ways. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years...actually it was a few minutes ago! I'm trying to distract myself from crying by coming on here and telling myself I have to go to the shop so I can't cry.

Anyway, like your lady she wants space and time to herself all the while wants to meet up again in a few weeks, we were on a break for the last week as that's what she wanted..I just couldn't hack it and today told her I wanted to break up with her. It had crossed my mind that she wasn't over her previous relationship but she says that's not it at all.
I think both you and I need to move on, you shouldn't see her the odd time like she suggests. That's to ease her conscience. I think my girlfriend wanted the break because it would give her a chance to come to terms with the eventual break up which felt really unfair and like I was being strung along.

I don't how you best deal with getting over someone yourself...for me it's hate. Sell yourself on hating that person. So for your lady I would hate her for how she just trailed things off like she did, she could have been more considerate in the way she handled things. You don't need a b!tch like that. I hope you get over her ok.

LegacyUser

Cheers for the reply. nice to know I'm not alone! Don't watch marley and me anyway jus did that there and it's sad at the end!

I have to go up at some stage to collect a couple of things, but i'll leave it a couple of months i think.

It'd be easier if I could hate her, but I can't, she never did anything wrong by me apart from when she stopped keeping in touch as much...

Not looking forward to going to work and stuff tomorrow but hopefully it'll take my mind of things. Somebody becomes your best friend, the person you tell everything to and share everything with, and then they're just gone. Its hard to re adjust....

Going to sleep is the worst...

I got over my last break up and lived to tell the tale though, I'm trying to be optimistic!

Best of luck with this sh*tty time urself. All part of life I suppose. ANd no harm in having a little cry now and then, let it out....

LegacyUser

Thanks sunflower... It just hard to remember what life was like before! This time last year i'd no job, and was alone... So when i met her it gave me great comfort.... THen i got a job, bought a car and things were looking up. I suppose since i had met her before the job I just have to find a new routine... tough though. was playing soccer after work and my heart jus wasn't in it.

It's good to have section of boards (i normally just use boards for bargain alerts!)

I know given time everything will be ok, but its just hard to imagine at the min.

Trying to seek the emotional solace from my friends that i got from her. Normally if anything was wrong i'd turn to her.. but can't do that this time!