Unfortunate sequence of events...

whippetmania

I once excused myself to take a dump on a first dinner date. Twas messy with quite a few dangleberries making a nuisance of themselves. Took ages to get rid of the fcukers. I then came back to the table embarrassed and tried to make conversation quickly to distract from what had just occurred. I reached for my drink and knocked it all over her. I joked light heartedly that sex may not be on the cards tonight. She looked at me like I had two heads. With nothing more to be gained, I lifted my arse off the seat, blew out a massive fart and walked out the door. True story.

Would anyone else care to share their embarassing moments?

oppenheimer1

^^^Didn't happen. Unless of course your life is actually a sit com.

orourkeda

SMELLY BOLLIX

whippetmania

The fart was not so much unfortunate as intentional...for my own personal amusement. I'm a bit deranged like that.

Badgermonkey

BS

Seamus Heaney recounted this same story at a dinner in Garry Hynes place, you must also have been in attendance.

whippetmania

I'm afraid not. They must have forgotten to invite me. Did Seamus Heaney also blow out a big meaty fart out of badness? Good on him:cool:

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

Don't care if thats made up, that was fcuking funny!

El Weirdo

THFC wrote: »

Don't care if thats made up, that was fcuking funny!

Was it? Was it really?

oppenheimer1

THFC wrote: »

Don't care if thats made up, that was fcuking funny!

easily amused

rednik

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

^^^Didn't happen. Unless of course your life is actually a s*it com.

Fixed.

Usersname

Jasus there's some amount of dry ****es on here....

Mr. Manager

....And that was the last we ever heard of whippetmania

whippetmania

Knickers twisting in pretty tight knots here:rolleyes:. As for anything, I always say that you have two options. You can take it. Or, you can leave it.

Donal Og O Baelach

Badgermonkey wrote: »

BS

Seamus Heaney recounted this same story at a dinner in Garry Hynes place, you must also have been in attendance.

Jesus. What a great story. Well worth the appearance fee so.

And I bet he threw in a few rhyming couplets.

Kerikosan

whippetmania wrote: »

I once excused myself to take a dump on a first dinner date. Twas messy with quite a few dangleberries making a nuisance of themselves. Took ages to get rid of the fcukers. I then came back to the table embarrassed and tried to make conversation quickly to distract from what had just occurred. I reached for my drink and knocked it all over her. I joked light heartedly that sex may not be on the cards tonight. She looked at me like I had two heads. With nothing more to be gained, I lifted my arse off the seat, blew out a massive fart and walked out the door. True story.

Would anyone else care to share their embarassing moments?

1st post I've ever read on Boards.ie and bust my hole laughing off the chair

Very very funny

AnonoBoy

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

^^^Didn't happen. Unless of course your life is actually a sit com.

A sh*t sit-com at that.

Son Of A Vidic

whippetmania wrote: »

I once excused myself to take a dump on a first dinner date. Twas messy with quite a few dangleberries making a nuisance of themselves. Took ages to get rid of the fcukers. I then came back to the table embarrassed and tried to make conversation quickly to distract from what had just occurred. I reached for my drink and knocked it all over her. I joked light heartedly that sex may not be on the cards tonight. She looked at me like I had two heads. With nothing more to be gained, I lifted my arse off the seat, blew out a massive fart and walked out the door. True story.

Would anyone else care to share their embarassing moments?

You remain single no doubt and are probably doomed to this fate.

30txsbzmcu2k9w

How is this funny? ****e story in every possible sense. After Hours readers have some sort of insecure knee jerk lolzfest to any fúcking scatalogical reference. Same with ANY joke about sex. It's fúckin sad. :rolleyes:

Johro

whippetmania wrote: »

Knickers twisting in pretty tight knots here:rolleyes:. As for anything, I always say that you have two options. You can take it. Or, you can leave it.

I'll leave it. No offense.

Orando Broom

Very divisive issue. Opinion wildly vacillating from hilarious to ****e.

RichieC

Funny stuff! true or not

AnonoBoy

Orando Broom wrote: »

Very divisive issue. Opinion wildly vacillating from hilarious to ****e.

It's like our very own Two and a Half Men!