Anger Carried From Past Hurt Into Renewed Relationship

Dougal O

Hi. I wouldn't even know what to search for with this.

If there was some very deep hurt caused in a relationship, causing that relationship to end, but then the same relationship recommenced a couple of years later, albeit with some difficulties early on, rooted in the hurt from the "first installment", manifesting primarily in anger & agression (not violence) toward the causer of the original hurt, what would that type of anger be called? I'd thought "latent anger", but after googling that, it seems not.

I'm trying to learn a bit about this to see if recognising it might help a friend.


Thanks

Odysseus

Dougal O wrote: »

Hi. I wouldn't even know what to search for with this.

If there was some very deep hurt caused in a relationship, causing that relationship to end, but then the same relationship recommenced a couple of years later, albeit with some difficulties early on, rooted in the hurt from the "first installment", manifesting primarily in anger & agression (not violence) toward the causer of the original hurt, what would that type of anger be called? I'd thought "latent anger", but after googling that, it seems not.

I'm trying to learn a bit about this to see if recognising it might help a friend.


Thanks

Hi mate, I see and understand your question, I really do believe it's too subjective to answer. Each person will be diferent and in order to answer your question we would have to go against the charter. That's just my position others may differ. With human behaviour there are generalities and specifics.

The best way I have of describing that is with addiction, a lot of addicted clients share a lot of generalities, but their addiction is specific/subjective to
them. Does that make sense? I'm sorry that I can't answer your question but the human condition/psyche is subjective/complex and varies with to each subject.

I don't know your back ground, but sometimes people think we psychotheraists and psychologist can answer complex questions from a post like your one. I'm not being funny but we can't, for example I have had lots of female clients who go from one abusive relationship to another for most of their life, whilst there may be some generalities like an abusive upbring, the answer or nearest we will get to it is subjective, that it it is different for each subject. As I said sorry I can't be of any help, and maybe some of the other posters would disagree, but one thing I would said is beware of popular psych answers, the say a lot but there is little to them.

Not that I'm saying our regular posters post pop psych answer:eek: Rather the opposite is true, our regular lads and ladies post very information answers.

Dougal O

Hear ya on the charter, and cool with that.

I wouldn't expect to see/hear complex issues solved on a web forum, I just wondered if there was a specific name or term for anger that's rooted or originated in the past, not addressed and dealt with, and subsequently carried into a rejuvinated relationship.

It's not me that's going to solve any issues in this case - counselling is underway in the real world, and I suspect this will be broached (delete this line if you deem necessary).

I just like to have an idea of what's being discussed, and though this type of curiosity, and the proliferation of easy-access pseudo (or bogus) info on the web, can turn folk into "I know a bit about that" muppets, for me, it's simply that I just like to try to understand stuff for myself, nothing more.


Thanks for your reply.