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Am I Being Stupid

  • 26-01-2011 10:18pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I've been seeing this guy for about 8 moths now. We hardly have anything in common, but for some reason we just get on really well. Not to say we don't spat - we disagree on almost everything, but things never escalate further than a little squabble before we eventually just agree to disagree.
    Sometimes, though, I just feel really annoyed with him. It's not even promted by anything; I get the feeling from time to time that our disagreements have become to much. When this happens almost everything he does annoys me. The thing is, there have only been three occasions when I've actually blown up on him. It's not that I'm bottling up my feelings, but although I'm frustrated, when I actually see him face to face or start or start talking to him, things don't seem like such a big deal any more. It's like all the pent up aggravation I had been feeling just disappears suddenly.
    When I have gotten angry with him, he responds appropriately. He either apologises and tries not to do it any more, or gives me some space to calm down.
    What I want to know is; is this normal? I don't know if acting this way will have a bad effect later on. And I'm also worried that maybe I'm being weak, just letting him away with stuff. Though on the other hand I don't want to be kicking up about every little thing.
    So I need some thrid person perspective. Should I be more vocal about these things, or would that make me too hard on him?


Comments

  • #2
    tenchi-fan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,339 ✭✭✭tenchi-fan


    I think it all comes down to why you are arguing in the first place.

    You admit you argue over everything, he annoys you in general, and you end up being aggressive towards him.

    He realises how silly the argument is and apologises to save a row, or walks away and lets you cool down. This is quite normal behaviour and he's a very wise and mature person... because the alternative is a shouting match between two hotheads who don't even remember why they are angry to begin with.

    However, you need to figure out why you get so annoyed by him. If anything, from what you write here it seems the problem is with your behaviour rather than his. Seeing as he walks away when you are giving him grief, if the situation gets unbearable for him I think he'll be sensible enough to walk away for good.

    Is it possible you are using him as an outlet for built up aggression in other parts of your life (work, family, college, money, etc)? Or do you really have so many differences of opinion that you just can't stand him?
    just letting him away with stuff

    I don't really know what you mean by this.. are you disappointed he didn't argue back? Or did he actually do something he should apologise for?


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