Friend with bad BO.

Storminateacup

Currently in a small class, with 6 other students. Our class is pretty close, we get on very well. There is one girl in the class who by her own definition is "socially awkward". I know this sounds awful and mean, but I don't mean it to, but shes like the outcast of the class. Everybody is nice to her, of course, and we include her in stuff that we do, but she rarely makes the effort. Unless we invite her to come with us at lunch ect, she won't.

We're doing a beauty therapy course, and she really doesn't make the effort. Her skin is so neglected, I'm pretty sure the only time its cleansed is when its done during class. Its fact that she doesnt wash her tunic, her top underneath or her socks. She seems to wear the same clothes for the entire week. Even on mondays, she doesn't smell clean.

At certain times of the month the smell is a lot worse. She never doesn't smell. Sometimes its bearable - but most of the time, Not so much.

The group have been addressed 5 times since september regarding personal hygiene and the importance of it in the industry. However, it has fallen on deaf ears.

She is a nice person, but the entire class is talking about her. Nobody wants to work with her. Its not out of badness, but its because personally, having worked on her (epilating under her arms, and not being able to shave for waxing classes) I have never felt so dirty after it.


Heres the problem. How do we say it to her. Soft subtle hints aren't working. The tutors threathen to pull the girl in question aside, but it doesnt happen.

Today she smelled so bad, we had to leave all windows open in the practical room. I am currently ill with a chest and ear infection, and laying there in nothing but a tube towel and a blanket over me, with three open windows behind me does nothing for it.

sorry for the rant... but can anybody offer tips or advice?

Miss Fluff

Tbh there is just no excuse for bad hygiene. You'd think as well she is training for a career where she is literally inches away from a client at any given stage would mean she is fastidious about cleanliness.

I think you could say something to her but she may then think that you are all talking about her (which you are) and it might make her quit. I personally think it would be better coming from the tutor so maybe have a word with them, I'm sure they have also noticed how bad it is. Surely if the college is going to send her out on work placement to a salon at some stage this is going to have be addressed anyway?

Nevyn

Time for you all to go enmass to the college/course co ordinator and explain that you are going to refuse to attend classes until she is made to clean up her act.

astra2000

100% agree with thaedyal, I think it would be better for your friend to hear it from them rather than her peers, the least embarressing option imho.

LegacyUser

Hi,

This is a very tricky thing to deal with, but before you confront her, here is a suggestion- you could say 'have you been eating garlic, I love garlic, but i hate the dredful smell it leaves, so i usually eat parsley' etc etc
I doesn't matter if its not a garlic smell, the fact is she will know she wasn't eating garlic, and therefore it must be something else.
So in effect, you are not saying she (as a person) smells, but its normal for people who eat garlic

Chuchoter

You need to talk to the tutor. Frankly I think its pretty bad they haven't done something already :S

tommy21

Let the tutor(s) or course co-ordinator handle this. You may not know what problems this girl has, sounds a bit like depression but of course that's a wild guess, and attempting to handle it yourself may have consequences you can't imagine. I would suggest one of you acts as a spokesperson and approaches the tutor privately. Explain your concerns, and ask them to act. The welfare of the students rest in their hands not yours.

Storminateacup

Tommy - Think you've hit the nail on the head. She has admitted to us that she was so depressed she had been to councelling and had been on anti depressants.

I personally have spoken to the course director and the tutor about the issue, and both have addressed the class stating that it would have to be addressed.

However - it hasn't and, today, the rest of us had to lay wrapped in pretty much a towel, with the windows all open, as the BO was over powering.

I understand that she may have difficulties, but its affecting everybody else too. It isnt jjust a faint smell -- its a smell that hits you as soon as you walk into the room.

Ickle Magoo

Approach the course director/tutor again - and if other people feel the same they should do so too. If necessary take it further up the ladder - it isn't fair on the girl and it isn't fair on the rest of you that they are shirking from their responsibilities.

All the best

ongarboy

unknown friend wrote: »

Hi,

This is a very tricky thing to deal with, but before you confront her, here is a suggestion- you could say 'have you been eating garlic, I love garlic, but i hate the dredful smell it leaves, so i usually eat parsley' etc etc
I doesn't matter if its not a garlic smell, the fact is she will know she wasn't eating garlic, and therefore it must be something else.
So in effect, you are not saying she (as a person) smells, but its normal for people who eat garlic

I think opting with the above suggestion would be too subtle a hint for her and would go completely over her head. If she is unaware of the major personal hygiene issues she has, she's not going to grasp that someone else's observation about the bad smell garlic gives off is a metaphor for her to tackle her BO. I think the depression issue is the factor here which I would hazard a guess is affecting her in many ways and not just the state of her personal hygiene. I agree with the other posters, the rest of the class should emphasize yet again to the tutor that this needs to be tackled as it is now affecting the performance and morale of the class. Most companies and I would expect schools/training institutes have formal policies on how to tackle personal hygiene issues. It is such a sensitive issue that there are well thought out guidelines on how to successfully approach the subject with the person without humiliating or embarrassing them. I suggest you ask your tutor to consult the school's management/HR to bring this to a positive conclusion both for the class and the girl herself.