Friend Sucking up to boss

LegacyUser

I work with another girl in a firm of about 90 people. We have been in the firm together since I joined from college about 5 years ago. She was there about 18 months before me. We quickly became friends, hanging out together and visiting each other frequently. We have numerous friends in common. About four months ago a rumour went around that a person senior to us would be leaving. Since then my friend has been behaving differently.
The dress code has always been smart casual. She would always have been more on the casual side than on the smart. She always wore the most casual gear she could get away with.
Now, she is wearing power skirt suits and high heels. She runs to the boss at every opportunity. He is a man in his forties and an utter bore. She has started to simper at him when he goes on about politics or rugby. She pretends to find his jokes if you could call them that interesting.
She does not join me for coffee or lunch as often. She says she will be with me in a second and then stays working during her break. This never happens when the boss is not on duty. If the boss is not on duty she hangs around the canteen for as long as possible.
Socially she is less visible. One night she went to the theatre without mentioning anything to me. It turned out that the boss was there on the same night.
I don't know whether she is genuine or not. It is so revolting to watch her doing it. She reminds me of a tart.

Oryx

You havent really made clear what your personal issue is here?

Penn

I'm guessing your issue is that your friend isn't spending as much time with you as she had been and has changed. It sounds like she's trying to get a promotion, which isn't a bad thing. She's starting to work through lunch and be friendly to the boss so he'll keep her in mind for a promotion. While it may change the dynamic of your friendship with her, you should be giving her all the support you can as she tries to further her career. Or maybe start doing similar things yourself if you feel you might be in the company for a while.

Cheap Thrills!

Hi OP,
I don't really see the problem. Let her suck up. She's probably after a promotion etc.

Wompa1

Unfortunately that's how people here get to the top. I personally wouldn't lower myself to it and believe my work should stand for itself or act against me, whatever. I'd leave her to it. Maybe the boss can see through her..but in most cases management types are clueless

MissFlitworth

Did you just post to bitch about your friend and call her a tart? Don't at all see what your problem is, so your friend would like to get a promotion and is going about it in a bit of a silly way (if indeed she is 'simpering' at your boss and not just talking to him. Sometimes talking to people you work with and laughing at their jokes is, you know, polite). If you miss spending time with her say it to her, it's the only thing in this situation you have any right to be miffed about

MistyCheese

OP is the issue here that you are losing respect for your friend? You see her "tarting" herself out to the boss, simpering and asskissing and you are turned off by this new attitude? If so then there is very little you can do. People can change, you don't have to remain friends with them if it's a huge problem. If you have lost all respect for your friend then all you can really do is distance yourself from the friendship. You can't change your friend. Or change her back, if that's the case.

Or is that all wrong? Is the issue that your friend is leaving you behind in order to attempt to move up in the company, like you are being relegated to the past and she wants to move on, she sees you as "holding her back"?

Or is it more simply that she is no longer spending time with you and you miss her companionship?

Kosseegan

Most bosses see through this kind of thing. Once the vacancy is filled things will go back to normal. You will know your friend a bit better though.

AnonoBoy

wheredoistand wrote: »

It is so revolting to watch her doing it. She reminds me of a tart.

That's harsh. It sounds like she's trying to impress the boss to further her career. Nothing wrong with that as such, it's just the change and the fact that she's not hanging around with you as much that annoys you.

Do you actually think she's coming on to him? If you don't then why call her a tart?

Are you jealous of the fact that she might get the promotion? Is it something you'd wish for yourself?