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Friends, huh!

  • 25-01-2011 9:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey, just looking for opinions from people about the following scenario.
    You have been friends with someone for over 12 years, you are both now late 20s. Always had a good fun relationship, ringing texting every few days. She has been broken up with her ex for 8 years, yet is still in love with him, still meets him even though he is engaged to someone. She knows you dont approve, so only talks (cries) when she is drunk.
    So over the years you have been listening, patient but now 8 years on with no sign of her moving on with her life and she is trapped in this circle. Have had a few silly drunken fights over it but it comes to a time where you have to help her see this is damaging her, how do you tell her? Without losing the friendship??


Comments

  • #2
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Moved from tLL to PI.


  • #3
    Zen65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    WhySo wrote: »
    So over the years you have been listening, patient but now 8 years on with no sign of her moving on with her life and she is trapped in this circle. Have had a few silly drunken fights over it but it comes to a time where you have to help her see this is damaging her, how do you tell her? Without losing the friendship??

    Have a discussion about it with her when you are both sober. Drunken discussions can express exaggerated emotions, and it's possible her feelings for him are actually not that strong. She may simply be using that old story to conceal her frustrations & emotions about other events.

    Be at peace,

    Z


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    You also have to ask yourself here what is more important to you?

    1) Your friend finding peace and moving on with their life, with a risk of losing your friendship?
    or
    2) Continued friendship and this never-ending tale of woe?

    I think you know what you should do here - even though it might well mark the end of this friendship. A true friend is someone willing to risk it all for the other person - and sometimes that means the friendship as well...

    If you are hoping for more though for this friendship (IF) then after this amount of time it is very unlikely - though even less likely as long as you stay quiet about how you feel - about her and about the two of you.

    Again as per Z - NO BOOZE in this chat...


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