move in with girlfriend too soon or not

thegame

Need advice been with a girl 4 months now is it too soon to get an apt together.or is it best to wait a while..i know its a big step to take

curlzy

That really depends on you guys, how well do you get on? how close are you? how does your finances work? etc. So many questions and only you can answer them really. You could always get a short lease and see how it pans out. For me 4 months is a little too soon, but that doesn't mean it is too soon for you guys. Just take your time and have a good think about it.

Ickle Magoo

Depends entirely on your relationship - if you can get a short lease to start off with and see how things go then if it feels right to both of you & you are great communicators, give it a go.

If you struggle to communicate or either of you are likely to loose a job or heap added pressure on your relationship, I'd advise waiting.

All the best.

thegame

Thanks for the advice.we both are working and want to save to travel together cause we both want to travel to the same places.we are with each other most of the time and she lives at home. I live in a apt but the rent is too high and if me and my gf lived together the rent would be alot cheaper and we would both be able to save.

Package

i dont think it depends on the relationship,, i think its too soon, end of,, 4 months os nothing,, i bet really deep down, you barely know each other.

are you willing to take the chance nd risk it for the sake of moving in together, especially if you are both young

Caliden

How often do you see each other and what's the most time you've spent together in the past 4 months?


If things were becoming a little frayed after a few days together it will only be amplified when you move in.

In my opinion, it's too soon.
I realise you want to save to travel but moving in together this early might do mroe harm than good.

Of course it's different for every relationship and you may become closer but you will have less time to yourself if you're both living in on top of each other.

LegacyUser

I think it totally depends on your age, your life stage and things like that. I had a friend who moved in with her boyfriend after 3/4 months and they're now together 6 years and have just had a baby.

In past relationships i have just 'known' that it's going to work. You get a gut feeling about someone and if that gut feeling is the positive one then I think go for it.

and really? what is the worst that can happen? you might not get on and you'll end up breaking up. Really it's only accelerating the inevitable if you live together.

Ickle Magoo

Package wrote: »

i dont think it depends on the relationship,, i think its too soon, end of,,

We moved in together after less time together than the OP & their partner and we were early twenties - that was nearly 11 years ago now. I've also had relationships disintegrate just by sharing an apartment on holiday together - I think it definitely depends on the relationship.

IrishEyes19

And also your individual lifestyles. It's going to be come a one way street from now on too, bills wise, cleaning wise, even down to buying food and so on. You have to prepared that your life wont be entirely your own when you move in with a partner. I dont mean you'll be under control, certainly not, but are you totally comfortable with not being able to make all the decisions and having to consult others.

MIN2511

Can i say this; it's never too soon! My friend's moved in 8weeks after dating and they've been together for 7months now, planning to buy a house e.t.c.

Not the only couple i know like that, if ye like each other and are comfortable living together then definitely go for it! If it doesn't work, simply move out and move on....

petethebrick

It's way too soon to be moving in together. Especially as you mention that the reason for doing so would be to save money. If and when you move in together it should be because it feels right not because your current rent is expensive. Move to a cheaper place yourself if that is the case. When you travel together it will be time enough to be staying together.
While some people may move in together early on and end up happy in most cases it results in the relationship becoming stale and boring in my opinion.

Chinafoot

MIN2511 wrote: »

Can i say this; it's never too soon! My friend's moved in 8weeks after dating and they've been together for 7months now, planning to buy a house e.t.c.

Not the only couple i know like that, if ye like each other and are comfortable living together then definitely go for it! If it doesn't work, simply move out and move on....

No disrespect to your friends MIN but 7 months isn't exactly a concrete indication that it will work out. And planning to buy a house after 7 months is pretty foolish. Had you said they moved in after 8 weeks are still together 3/4/5years later then that might be something.

OP, I think this all comes down to your age and your relationship. Yeah, it could work out but its also a big gamble to take so soon in a relationship when you are still getting to know each other. Living with another person takes a lot of compromise and can be quite difficult in the beginning. If you don't have a solid foundation of a relationship behind you then it could be even harder. Renting an apartment together will involve finances and leases and these can be tricky if things don't work out. Its not simply a case of "Its not working, I'm off."

MIN2511

Chinafoot wrote: »

No disrespect to your friends MIN but 7 months isn't exactly a concrete indication that it will work out. And planning to buy a house after 7 months is pretty foolish. Had you said they moved in after 8 weeks are still together 3/4/5years later then that might be something.

OP, I think this all comes down to your age and your relationship. Yeah, it could work out but its also a big gamble to take so soon in a relationship when you are still getting to know each other. Living with another person takes a lot of compromise and can be quite difficult in the beginning. If you don't have a solid foundation of a relationship behind you then it could be even harder. Renting an apartment together will involve finances and leases and these can be tricky if things don't work out. Its not simply a case of "Its not working, I'm off."

None taken! But who are we to judge that the wouldn't be together in 10 years time?

When i found out i thought it was too soon, but who am i to judge or assess their relationship....

You could meet someone today and you know they're the right person for you, you could also date someone for 15years and then find out that you know absolutely nothing about them!

I am a friend

I am a bit old fashioned and romantic and think the cost of renting is not reason enough to move in with someone. I personally think the preciousness and romance of sharing your life and home with someone you love has been cheapened in recent years and people too often end up living together to save money rather than as a symbolic start to their lives together.

Moving in with someone should be special so dont belittle it by doing it to save some cash. Not a dig at you OP and best of luck no matter what you choose to do but I just think romance has died in society of late

LegacyUser

Sounds like your main motivation for her moving in is financial, versus emotional/commitment-related. Therefore, do not ask her to move in. It sends out the wrong message, no matter what you tell her verbally, it's a recipe for trouble.
Get a (male!) lodger, they'll pay the rent just as well.

Firetrap

If it's for the right reasons, I don't see why not. Either you will be compatible or you won't be. It really is true that to know someone properly, you need to live with them. You're just accelerating the process a bit

glasto

As others have said, it depends. I moved in with my bloke aged 22 (into a dive of a bedsit in London) after about two months. A couple of years down the line we broke up. However we couldn't stay away from each other and got back together, and moved into a proper flat. We got married a couple of years later, and we're still very happily married almost 19 years later.