Married man thinking about affair...

LegacyUser

I decided to post this as I have been toying around the pros and cons, the risks etc with what I am thinking about doing.

Basically, this is it - I am a happily married man. We have kids, we have a good life. Stressful on the economic front, but it works between it. I love my wife, and I like her. I have been faithful to her since we have been married, a couple of blips in early courting years but nothing more than a one night stand. We're together 15 years. I've been thinking about having an extra marital fling for a while. It's a 100% curiosity & fantasy driven thing, I dont want to have a long term affair or anything, I'd just once like to try it. The excitement of it, the fun, the experience. Call it what you will. I dont think I'm the only one to ever do it. I dont want to have a drunken one night stand. I dont want to get caught. When I meet girls in public I always make a point of letting them know I am married. I dont put myself in situations to be unfaithful. But I want to try, jsut the once.

I know people on here will want to judge me. That's fine, I cant stand over what I am thinking about doing, I know it is wrong. So please dont bother posting.

I was hoping to get non-judgemental input from people who maybe have tried something like this. Men or women. What was your experience like? Apart from the moral and health side of things, what are the things to look out for, helpful comments basically. Or if you know people who'v done it etc.

LegacyUser

I was the fling on the side for a girl in a long term (albiet unmarried) relationship for a couple of weeks.

I felt like sh!t and totally regretted it and would never do it again.

neuro-praxis

So you're asking for tips on the best and most discreet ways to deceive your wife, and how to have the most fun possible. Just to be clear about it.

How is this a PI i.e., something the OP needs help with?

Ickle Magoo

OP,

This is not a forum for garnering tips on how best to cheat on your spouse.

If there is an aspect of this you consider a personal issue which you'd like advice to help solve then fire away - otherwise this thread will be locked.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Think long and hard about what you are doing. It might seem like an exciting fantasy but believe me when I say it ends in nothing but tears, heartache and hurt to those you purport to love. Been there done that.

You can't legistate for what happens in an affair. The other woman could tell your wife, you develop attachments that you didn't think you would. You are on edge all the time trying to keep track of your lies. Then the guilt sets in and messes with your head. You can then take this distorted mess out on your family creating more tension.

If you are willing to risk losing your wife and ripping apart your family -then go for it.

Ask yourself why you really want to do this leaving out the cliched thrill and excitement. Obviosuly there is more than this going on.

Maybe you are having a mid-life crisis and want to prove you still got it?

ravima

Don't.

Dr. Baltar

I never thought I would ever say this in my entire life but here goes:

"Think of the children"

Lux23

You really need to think of the reasons for this interest in having an affair. Is a few shags with some random girl really worth destroying 15 years of marriage?

astra2000

Have_An_Affair? wrote: »

. I have been faithful to her since we have been married, a couple of blips in early courting years but nothing more than a one night stand.
.

Whats that old saying? Oh ya once a cheat always a cheat!

dellas1979

Well, you tell us whats the reason behind your thoughts.

You "like" your wife? Do you want to take the story from there?

Curiosity killed the cat you know.

IrishEyes19

You are hardly happilly married if you want to cheat. Im not being judgemental but if you get caught, you could lose everything. Is it worth it?

Milkmaid

Have_An_Affair? wrote: »

I decided to post this as I have been toying around the pros and cons, the risks etc with what I am thinking about doing.

Basically, this is it - I am a happily married man. We have kids, we have a good life. Stressful on the economic front, but it works between it. I love my wife, and I like her. I have been faithful to her since we have been married, a couple of blips in early courting years but nothing more than a one night stand. We're together 15 years. I've been thinking about having an extra marital fling for a while. It's a 100% curiosity & fantasy driven thing, I dont want to have a long term affair or anything, I'd just once like to try it. The excitement of it, the fun, the experience. Call it what you will. I dont think I'm the only one to ever do it. I dont want to have a drunken one night stand. I dont want to get caught. When I meet girls in public I always make a point of letting them know I am married. I dont put myself in situations to be unfaithful. But I want to try, jsut the once.

I know people on here will want to judge me. That's fine, I cant stand over what I am thinking about doing, I know it is wrong. So please dont bother posting.

I was hoping to get non-judgemental input from people who maybe have tried something like this. Men or women. What was your experience like? Apart from the moral and health side of things, what are the things to look out for, helpful comments basically. Or if you know people who'v done it etc.

Wow you really "love" your wife..your post reeks of love. If you want to do this why don't you be honest about it and have an open marriage, and allow your wife the same freedom to shag whoever she wants too? The worst thing about being a cheated wife is the LIES. And don't pretend you love her cos you don't even respect her enough to be honest.

Wompa1

Your fantasy is to break the wife you claim you loves heart. Doesn't sound like a healthy fantasy to me OP. Just stay away from it, f**k it sure sex is sex isn't it? The sex you have with another woman most likely won't be as good as with your wife because you won't have a connection and you'll have guilt on your mind

I am a friend

Well go to a hooker then cos otherwise, unless you tell your prospective one night stand that you are just using her for a night so you can 'just see' what it's like to cheat on your wife, you need to keep it business like.

Would hate to be your wife, btw

tinkerbell

Have_An_Affair? wrote: »

I am a happily married man. We have kids, we have a good life. I love my wife, and I like her.

You love your wife? Yeah right. Stop making such false statements like that when you clearly couldn't give a crap about her. All you are thinking about is yourself - you are totally selfish and you care about nobody except having a bit of fantasy sex on the side. That's disgusting behaviour. Your poor wife, I feel sorry for her being married to someone like you who just wants to go off and have an affair just because you are "curious".

Go to marriage counselling. Sort yourself out. And actually start practicing what you preach - you say you love her, well go show it. And it doesn't involve going out and having affairs just because you are curious about it. Because right now, the only person that you love is yourself.

dudara

This isn't really a forum for people to gain tips on how to have one-night stands.

Unless you have a genuine personal issue behind this, then I don't see the need for this discussion to progress any further.

dudara