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Mixed bag

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  • 24-01-2011 2:48pm
    #1
    dilallio
    Registered Users Posts: 2,728 ✭✭✭


    Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who
    was looking for some hot action! So I sent her my
    ironing. That'll keep the lazy cow busy.

    I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a
    turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

    After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself
    next to a really ugly woman.That's when he realised he had made it home
    safely.

    My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak

    Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

    Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything
    gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.

    After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.
    Nothing.

    A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."

    Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can
    supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier
    I think.


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