Newborn and anxiety

Eircom_Sucks

first time dad and to be honest im feeling very overwhelmed , just very anxious , always tense

is this normal

Eircom_Sucks

Latchy wrote: »

Very Normal ,your about to expierence something that you'll remember for ever and it's all quite normal .

Congrats on about to become a dad to

he was born 10 days ago , he's here already

just the feeling , i can't just up and go if i want to go somewhere , its all to be planned

January

Takes some getting used to. You're not your own person anymore, this little life depends on you and that's scary. Not knowing when it's going to wake up for it's feed, if it's going to cry.... am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with him/her??

It'll all come and it will all pass and your little person will grow into a bigger person, and in a couple more years you'll have some more freedom.

Nevyn

Yes that is how it goes, you have to plan things around the child's needs and schedule for the first 2 years or so and it can seem very restrictive, pain in the arse that walking to the shop for a pint of milk can how take 20mins or more prep time, it's how it goes.

Eircom_Sucks

January wrote: »

Takes some getting used to. You're not your own person anymore, this little life depends on you and that's scary. Not knowing when it's going to wake up for it's feed, if it's going to cry.... am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong with him/her??

It'll all come and it will all pass and your little person will grow into a bigger person, and in a couple more years you'll have some more freedom.

yeah , im a person who suffers with anxiety anyway and just feel the past few days like im trapped , i love the guy truly , just overwhelmed with pressure i suppose , think your ready for months and then bam it hits you , you never realised the effort and time

Latchy

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

he was born 10 days ago , he's here already

just the feeling , i can't just up and go if i want to go somewhere , its all to be planned

Aye , I had just read your post again and deleated mine when I realised you are already a dad

Things are never going to be as they were before , that's the reality and getting used to fatherhood takes time ,so dont be to hard on yourself ,it's a learning expierence for all first time fathers and can take time to get used to as you have found , when you have to put all babys needs over anything else . The worry about doing everything right can be overwhelming . But you also need some time to yourself to , of course and that's were other family members come into it with practical advice and assistance

Das Kitty

In my case (and my husband's) the anxiety lessened over time. The trapped feeling wore off quickly enough. It gets easier! Soon you'll start thinking he's growing up too fast!

Eircom_Sucks

Das Kitty wrote: »

In my case (and my husband's) the anxiety lessened over time. The trapped feeling wore off quickly enough. It gets easier! Soon you'll start thinking he's growing up too fast!

hope so

was sure i was ready , but he's here now and so cute and great , just a flood of emotions

Cat Melodeon

OP, around 10% of new fathers can experience postnatal depression, it's not confined to mothers. Your risk may be elevated if you are usually of an anxious nature and if you have other stress factors (such as job insecurity, financial worries) on top of the rather overwhelming event of become a father. Speak to your partner and your doctor about it if you have any of the symptoms below and are finding it difficult to cope. If you do have PND, it is common and you are not alone.

http://www.independent.ie/health/questions-answers/qampa-how-to-cope-when-its-the-man-who-is-suffering-from-postnatal-depression-1649714.html

What are the symptoms?

• Tiredness, headaches and pain.
• Irritability, anxiety and anger.
• Loss of libido.
• Feelings of being overwhelmed, out of control.
• Engaging in risk-taking behaviour.
• Feelings of isolation and disconnection from partner, friends or family.
• Withdrawal from intimate relationships and from family, friends and community life.
• Increased hours of work as a part of the withdrawal from family.
• Increased use of drugs or alcohol instead of seeking treatment for depression.
• Other fathers say they feel angry at their partners, children or other family members.
• Some fathers feel disappointed by their experience of fatherhood, that they have failed in their role as a father and they have let themselves, their children or partners down.

What are the causes?
Men, by their nature, are not likely to talk about their feelings, while women tend to talk more freely. Women also have better network supports in friends, family, midwife, public health nurse, practice nurses and GPs.
Male post-natal depression sometimes occurs when a man's female partner is suffering from post-natal depression. Many men have claimed that coping with their partner's depression leaves them feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and stigmatised.
Another reason for male post-natal depression is that many men find it difficult to cope with the birth of a child. The new addition can be stressful, especially if the dad has to work during the day and cope with the child at night.

Further info: http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=17335

Trotter

I felt exactly the same during the first 2 weeks. Our little woman is almost 4 weeks old now and the second 2 weeks have been so much easier. They haven't been overly different but I'm dealing with it all much better. My advice is not to 'judge' how you're doing until your little one is 1 month old. Anxiety is such a pain in the behind, especially if you're gripped by it during times of extreme change. Make sure you get sleep to combat it. I go to bed at 11 (spare room!) and do the 6:30am feed. Mum gets to stay in bed til 9 then, so everyone gets some rest.

You're not alone! A few people here sent me some great PMs when it sounded like I was struggling in week one. Hang in there

Nevyn

While it is good that new fathers should be aware that they too can get the Baby blues,
we still can not be suggesting posters have various medical conditions.

Dades

Congrats!

Sleep deprivation exacerbates a lot of things. It's a scary time for any new parent, and cabin fever doesn't help. And as I discovered last year - boys are high maintenance!

As you get more comfortable with looking after himself you get the confidence back to go out and do most of the things you used to. Also you should take turns to try and give each other time away from the madness (or even better - get a relative to babysit) - even if it's just a trip to the shops or a movie. Plan in advance so you'll have something to look forward to.

Cat Melodeon

Thaedydal wrote: »

While it is good that new fathers should be aware that they too can get the Baby blues,
we still can not be suggesting posters have various medical conditions.

Apologies - did not mean to suggest anything - just intending to raise awareness that dads can get PND too. A separate thread would probably be more appropriate. Sorry mods & OP.

annetted

hey congrats
i think its a responsibility thing as well. all our lives we only have to really look about ourselves, then you meet your partner and you look about them too - but then your babies arrives and its this tiny person that is relying on you totally.

my husband says - we didn't know what worry was till we became parents.
i agree 100%

it does get easier as ye all learn more about each other. its takes time. i remember trying to go to Tesco one day. we started getting ready to go about 11 and we gave up at about 6 that evening and went and got a takeaway!

Good luck

Terpsichore

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

just the feeling , i can't just up and go if i want to go somewhere , its all to be planned

Congrats to you young father!
You know what, once you always keep the baby bag (nappy bag) ready to go, you can bring your baby almost everywhere with you. (no, no nightclubs I'm affraid!)

Infact, I believe (and practice) that the smaller babies are, the easier it is to bring them around as they sleep most of the time.

My little fellow is now 8 months old and he's been out of the house every single day since he was born. I'm talking trips to shops as well as travelling abroad. We had to introduce him to family based in France. So far he's been three times (twice by ferry boat and once by airplane).

Ok I'm not looking for a tap on my shoulders here. What I'm trying to say is your life hasn't stoped. On the contrary, it's only started, and you have a great little one to share it with. So better make it as relaxed as possible and surely enjoyable for you both and the mother!

Good luck and plenty of happy times to your young family.