at rock bottom

LegacyUser

Recently me and my boyfriend have been going through a bad patch(his ex)
but its still really affecting me, I get paranoid alot and I constantly feel like crying.
I suppose im just looking for a place to vent as if i told my mother she wouldnt leave him inside the front door again. I love him to bits and when we're together its fantastic.
but when hes gone the doubt starts creeping in again. I suppose alot of my trust issues have to do when i was younger.
Im at a loss do i wait and hold on to see if it gets better or do i let go and see what happens

Wompa1

emptyinside wrote: »

Recently me and my boyfriend have been going through a bad patch(his ex)
but its still really affecting me, I get paranoid alot and I constantly feel like crying.
I suppose im just looking for a place to vent as if i told my mother she wouldnt leave him inside the front door again. I love him to bits and when we're together its fantastic.
but when hes gone the doubt starts creeping in again. I suppose alot of my trust issues have to do when i was younger.
Im at a loss do i wait and hold on to see if it gets better or do i let go and see what happens

Is his ex on the scene. Why are you worried?

annetted

well there is a reason his ex is his ex. that relationship did not work.
he is your boyfriend - enjoy it.

mood

Why is his ex still in his life?

LegacyUser

im not entirely sure, he tells me hes cutting contact but she still rings him.
all the time. its seriously becoming an issue. his ex is an ex for a very good reason, but she seems set against us. its ok for her to move on but not him.
im fed up of feeling second best

LegacyUser

im not sure why shes still on the scene. She kinda doesnt let up, so i think im seeing how it goes. its all just a bit, contact with my exes is kept to a minimum, apart from fb comments the odd time. So I do expect the same, ex is an ex for a reason

mood

empty inside wrote: »

im not sure why shes still on the scene. She kinda doesnt let up, so i think im seeing how it goes. its all just a bit, contact with my exes is kept to a minimum, apart from fb comments the odd time. So I do expect the same, ex is an ex for a reason

I can't see why he can't get a new phone number or just not take her calls etc. You should talk to him. Your relationship with him should be more important to him the his relationship with his ex.

annetted

hey
i would talk to your boyfriend. tell him how much this is upsetting you. but really you have to figure a way to deal with this too. he is your boyfriend and if you are going to be suspicious of him when he is not with you - it is not giving your relationship much of a chance. best of luck. try and be happy with your boyfriend

eddison

Hi,

If he rejected his Ex, then she may never forgive him. She may try to get revenge, by being nice, and breaking you guys up. This might not be true, but if it is, then she will be delighted you are upset.
If his Ex suffered hurt in any way as a child, the rejection could be extreme. You'l have to try to work out what is happening, and use skill in this situation. Try not to be a victim, as this will push him away.

LegacyUser

Yea apparently shes had a tough life, but havent we all.
She has tried to break us up, and its prob getting closer
hes becoming more secretive which i hate

Taltos

OP - there was a thread here recently from an "ex" who insisted on hounding her ex - over the last 3 yrs.
Now reading that you will see that nothing he has done is encouraging her and in fact that person may have some personal problems leading them to continuing this contact. I am only referring to this as your partner may be someone whose ex is similar in nature.

Can I suggest that you sit down with him - spell out how you are feeling and why. If he agrees that the contact from the ex is inappropriate then maybe the two of you can together meet with the EX with the intention of telling them to just back off and stop all contact.
If though he is happy to stay in tough and sees her as only a friend then you have to decide if you will let that friendship split you up (something the ex might still be fishing for under the guise of friendship).

At the end of the day it all comes down to trust - do you trust your partner to be faithful and honest? Or not?
FYI - maybe he is being secretive as he sees you getting upset and so instead of tackling the issue head on he is taking the lazy option by hiding from you... TALK TO HIM...

Nothing in what you have posted would have me overly worried - so do try to relax a little at least until you have more information and have talked to the guy.