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Best way to meet ppl for a gay guy in the closet....

  • 23-01-2011 12:56pm
    #1
    prickleberry
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27 ✭


    Hi recent breakup victim here and was wondering what's the best way to meet new guys? I'm in the closet now and finding it really difficult. is gaydar.ie or any local groups any good? Or does anyone have any experience with college lgbt groups like Gigsoc in Galway?


Comments

  • #2
    anotherlostie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭anotherlostie


    Probably not what you want to hear, but the best way would be to come out of the closet. It will make meeting guys much simpler for you, and a lot of guys (myself included) won't date someone who is in the closet.


  • #3
    St._Andalou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 327 ✭✭St._Andalou


    prickleberry wrote: »
    Hi recent breakup victim here and was wondering what's the best way to meet new guys? I'm in the closet now and finding it really difficult. is gaydar.ie or any local groups any good? Or does anyone have any experience with college lgbt groups like Gigsoc in Galway?

    You'll get differing views on Gaydar and LGBT college societies. The only way to know for sure is to try it and see what works for you.

    Personally I think Gaydar is a great resource. Yes, there are lots of guys just looking for sex but there are some guys looking for friends, relationships, etc. Of course, be wary. It's a real cross-section of gay men, and there's the odd fake. The best thing to do is ask for a quick webcam call on Skype/MSN before you meet. That way you know for sure that the guy is who he says he is.

    LGBT societies in colleges vary from year to year. I went to one meeting of mine, didn't like it, and never went again. Other people love it. It can't hurt to go along to one meeting/social night and see if it works for you.

    Best of luck.


  • #4
    Dr. Baltar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭Dr. Baltar


    I would second that the best way to meet guys is to come out.
    When I first began coming out, I only came out in college and everyone was super cool about it. People your own age with a similar mindset. What can go wrong?

    Not only did it give me the confidence to join my college LGBT soc but it also eventually led me to come out to my parents and extended family. It will do wonders for you! Give it a shot man!


  • #5
    cgcsb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭cgcsb


    I honestly would think twice about getting into a relationship with a closeted guy. It can be very painful for the other person to have their existence kept secret from the closeted guy's friends and family.


  • #6
    theginsandwich
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33 ✭theginsandwich


    I'm a member of gigsoc. It helped me enormously with confidence when I arrived in college several years ago. It tends to be primarily social with nights out every week, so in terms of an introduction to the scene and making new friends it can be great. But it's not for everyone.

    If you're nervous about attending, you can meet an "Icebreaker" before you go so that you'll know at least one person at the meeting. Just e mail them at gigsoc@socs.nuigalway.ie and they'll be happy to help! Hope this is useful!


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  • #7
    esposito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,444 ✭✭✭esposito


    anotherlostie wrote: »
    Probably not what you want to hear, but the best way would be to come out of the closet. It will make meeting guys much simpler for you, and a lot of guys (myself included) won't date someone who is in the closet.

    Maybe he's not ready to come out of the closet? It's a very difficult thing to do for a lot of guys, myself included-albeit I told some friends in the last few months. It takes time, a lot of thinking/reflection and guts for many guys, especially for those who aren't effeminate, to come out. He can meet guys through gaydar as there seems to be a considerable amount of closeted guys on it.


  • #8
    Spark Boy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23 ✭Spark Boy


    how did you meet your previous boyfriend?


  • #9
    Rick_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,620 ✭✭✭Rick_


    If you are using the internet for chatting/meeting other guys, always remember to be safe. Meet in public, make sure someone knows where you are going to be, but they don't have to know what you're doing, and make sure you agree beforehand just what is going to happen when you meet, i.e. just as mates, for a drink, for a bit of fun etc. That way it saves complications if you want something or they do and it turns out you or they don't.

    I have profiles on Gaydar, LadsLads, Fitlads and Plenty Of Fish on the internet and on Grindr, Qrushr and Recon on the iPhone. As long as you state explicitly what you want on your profile, you shouldn't have to worry about people who message you thinking you're just looking sex (as there are a lot of those guys on all these sites/apps with probably the exception of Plenty of Fish), or if random sex is what you're after, then you're sorted!

    Or as mentioned above, try joining a group locally for gay guys to meet up and do fun activities with each other, you may end up making new friends out of it and who knows where that could lead to?


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